A Magic 8-Ball State of Mind

Okay, so while my blog has been unusually quiet because I'm on hiatus, BIG changes are happening behind the scenes. In fact, I've switched tacks.

You know how you dream about being some place totally different than where you are right now? You know how you say, One of these days, when all the stars align, when the kids no longer need me, or when money falls from the sky, I'm going to do/go/be _______ (fill in the blank)? I'm going to reinvent myself and my life. I will finally do it, go there, be that . . . One of these days.

Followed by big sighs, slumps in your chair, and massive doses of reality and routine in the form of work, money, bills, kids, deadlines, whatever.

And then because the universe works in crazy wondrous ways, an opportunity comes along that answers the call your subconscious has been busily broadcasting across the galaxy—the opportunity that could bring you closer to your dream. It's a glimmer of realization that hits you, and your whole body stills to take measure of this tiny, hopeful spark. You stare at it, mull it over, toss around the possible pitfalls. You shake it like a Magic 8-ball, and the triangle that stares back at you reads, As I see it, yes. You do a double-take. Signs point to yes. Is this wishful thinking or just craziness? Outlook good. If I don't recognize opportunity for what it is, I can't accept it for what it is, and then will it be gone with one more shake of the 8-ball? That I will later regret? Most likely.

How many missed opportunities have there been in your life? Concentrate and ask again.

Yeah, that's the kind of thing I'm looking at RIGHT NOW. I've sent off the kids to Atlanta (boo-hoo big time!), my house is nearly empty, and I have a place to go across town. It's the safe thing to do but gets me no closer to living my dream. Outlook not so good. But a random rant to a beloved confidant has spurred something new and exciting—that hopeful spark. Yes, I'm moving toward the light. (Not that one.) Toward sunnier days. Now the safe thing doesn't feel like the right thing. So I'm about to take a calculated (repeatedly in my Excel spreadsheets) risk. Aahh, there's that troublesome little word: risk. If it's worth having, is it worth the risk?

If the stars continue to align, in three weeks, I'll be in a whole 'nother state. Mentally, emotionally, geographically. My life. In flux. On the cusp. It is decidedly so. Wish me luck.

What exactly is on the horizon for me? Better not tell you now.

But soon. You may rely on it.
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