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April 12, 2011

I Noticed Some Stuff

Yup, I was just looking around this week, waiting for word on my ailing laptop, and this is what I noticed:

Backup drives are as important as your last will and testament, especially when losing your hard drive makes you want to roll over and die.

Having to choose between transitive or intransitive lie, lay, laid, lain, lying, or laying makes my brain shrivel to the size of a raisin lying in the sun. Or is it laying in the sun? Kill me now...

My first sunburn of the year took 45 minutes: 15 to burn and 30 to realize the shade had moved.

Tween boys are like pop farts. Cute and gross at the same time.

Source Code is gripping and worth the ticket. Your Highness is ridiculous in a Monty Python sort of way, for which I offer two words and one unforgettable image:  penis medallion.

You never really forget how to cook. It's like having sex. You turn up the heat, throw in the good stuff, and hope it tastes better than it looks.

I don't know how threatening to "rain a shitstorm down on you" got translated to "Nana's gonna poop a storm," but y'all need to quit telling on me. Your mother turned out okay . . .

Tickets are on sale now for my April 30 performance at the Listen to Your Mother Show in Austin, HERE. Come on out and see me!
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41 comments:

  1. XLMICApril 12, 2011 at 5:53 PM

    A show! Mannnnn.... wishing I lived near Austin. I would love to come see your show.

    This post is hilarious! And I love the dog's 'bubble'... reminds me of a dog I used to take care of :P

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  2. MissyApril 12, 2011 at 6:07 PM

    I can burn through a wall! I love a tan....
    Great post!~

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  3. Kristina P.April 12, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    Oh, man! I wish I lived closer to you! For so many reasons.

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  4. DeechApril 12, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    This is why I do both...a Back up drive and Carbonite. Either way, my data is covered. Because as they say in the computer industry...it's not a question of if...it's a question of when...

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  5. UnknownApril 12, 2011 at 7:38 PM

    I would so come and see you if I lived near Austin!

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  6. macApril 12, 2011 at 7:38 PM

    I have a bit too much Irish in me, I burn very quickly.
    I don't worry so much about back-ups, most of my fart jokes are committed to memory anyway ;-)

    As to Lay, laying, laid, lain, lying: I defer to Dylan ;-)

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  7. Life As I Know It NowApril 12, 2011 at 7:38 PM

    I really wish I could come and see you. You are so upbeat and funny and quirky. Love it :~)

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  8. Life As I Know It NowApril 12, 2011 at 7:40 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. watercolordaisyApril 12, 2011 at 8:04 PM

    Glad you are back! I think I burned today sitting on the roof deck at lunch at work.... sigh.

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  10. NancyApril 12, 2011 at 8:06 PM

    How I wish I lived in Austin!!

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  11. UnknownApril 12, 2011 at 8:06 PM

    I have too much Greek in me. I never burn.

    And if Austin wasn't an 18 hour drive for me (each way) I'd totally be there. Hope you rock it!

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  12. GaelynApril 12, 2011 at 8:52 PM

    You always make me laugh! Thank you, I really needed that. I'm going to just miss you the 30th in Austin on my way back to AZ from S TX.

    LOL! Penis medallion...

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  13. ellen abbottApril 12, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    OK, you got me with the cooking and sex thing. that one made me laugh.

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  14. BejewellApril 12, 2011 at 9:42 PM

    You're so awesome. I can't wait for everyone to see that other side of you at Listen To Your Mother.

    (Metaphorically speaking, of course. Although you DID seem to have a great ass.)

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  15. AnonymousApril 12, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    I lost some scripts via a hard drive crash...I have them printed though. That sucked.

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  16. SueannApril 13, 2011 at 4:51 AM

    Penis medallion huh? Ha!!
    Sorry about your laptop!! Sigh! everyone's shared nightmare for sure!!
    Good luck with your performance.
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  17. CandiceApril 13, 2011 at 6:59 AM

    You rock!!

    Maybe some day I'll get to see you perform here In Dallas. :)

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  18. chocolatecovereddaydreams.blogspot.comApril 13, 2011 at 9:02 AM

    When you take the show on the road, please come out to Oregon. I would love to see your show.

    Gotta love the grandkids who accidentally tattle tale.

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  19. Heidi-"Heidi in Real Life"April 13, 2011 at 10:52 AM

    Wish I could see your show! Loved the sunburn comment--so true!

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  20. JimmyApril 13, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Welcome back onboard the Blog Bus hen, you have been missed.

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  21. injaynesworldApril 13, 2011 at 1:22 PM

    For back up I use Carbonite. $50 a year and I never have to think about it. I so wish I could see you in Austin. How exciting. Just enjoy every minute of it. Then go out and get drunk.

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  22. Linda MedranoApril 13, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    Dang Girl, if you were performing in Los Angeles I'd fly down to see you. I know you'll be great! Please tell me somebody is going to video tape it! I'd love to see you. This post was the cat's pajamas!

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  23. HilaryApril 13, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    LOL.. keep on noticing stuff.. so I can keep on laughing.

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  24. AnonymousApril 13, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    I'd love to see your show - am too far away.

    My laptop died a while back and I'm still mourning the lost data. Ack.

    I always burn...

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  25. meleah rebeccahApril 13, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    YAY! You're back!

    I would just roll up and DIE if I lost my computer / everything on my hard-drive.

    "Tween boys are like pop farts. Cute and gross at the same time."

    AHHAHHAHHA. Very, true!

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  26. Julie DApril 14, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    Hey mama, just catching up on my blog reading! I still have tan from the cruise...but it's fading fast!

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  27. Fred MillerApril 14, 2011 at 2:13 PM

    We use Carbonite, too. I figure if we're already paying for high speed, might as well use it.

    And remember. You gotta lie to get laid.

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  28. Robin AllenApril 14, 2011 at 8:15 PM

    The cooking analogy made me spit wine out of my nose. I have my ticket and can't wait to see you rock that stage!

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  29. lisahgoldenApril 15, 2011 at 6:25 AM

    Excellent! You're in Listen to Your Mother! That is so cool. Wish I could be there.

    Also - rain a shitstorm? I'm borrowing that.

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  30. SuomiApril 15, 2011 at 8:06 AM

    First Of All let me commend your clarity on this subject. I am not an expert on this subject, but after studying your article, my understanding has developed considerably. Please permit me to snap up your rss feed to remain in touch with any potential updates. Solid job and will offer it on to admirers and my fans.

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  31. tokenbloggerApril 15, 2011 at 9:20 AM

    If only I were going to be in Austin.

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  32. SausageApril 15, 2011 at 11:21 AM

    This is the kind of post that makes my day. Thank you.
    Sausage...

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  33. secret agent womanApril 15, 2011 at 5:43 PM

    I got a little sunburn on my arms this week when I was out walking. Time to crack out the sunblock!

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  34. Murr BrewsterApril 17, 2011 at 1:47 AM

    My backup hard drive was expensive and blew up three months in. The nice people sent me a new one and it quit two months in. I don't have the heart to send it back. I've got my entire intellectual property on a pair of thumb drives. I'm screwed, aren't I?

    You were lying in the sun, or you were laid in the sun. It kinda depends. Either way, you aren't in Oregon.

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  35. Jo ~April 17, 2011 at 4:53 PM

    I swear there must be some gadget spell placed on computer equip cause I have been having the same trouble here for a week; just today got everything resolved and my router is working! YAY! Congrats on the program, can one hear this somewhere on the web?

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  36. AnonymousApril 18, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    I'm still laughing at pop farts!!!!

    Great post!

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  37. The Blog of BeeApril 19, 2011 at 9:50 PM

    Laughing out loud and wishing that I lived in or near Austin!

    Always have an external hard drive handy - take that how you like - and remember to 'burn' everything not just your skin!

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  38. JocelynApril 25, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    You are FAMOUSER THAN I KNEW!!???

    This is me, flying to The States so's I can hear you.

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  39. Annie (Lady M) xApril 28, 2011 at 12:05 AM

    LMAO ...... did you really notice all those things? Bloody funny - you have way too much time on your hands you loon-bag! ;-)

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  40. Jo ~April 29, 2011 at 7:26 PM

    heyyyyy tomorrow's the big day! hope all goes well.

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  41. injaynesworldMay 1, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    Hey -- how did your performance go? I hope you're going to write about it.

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