She Who Knows Too Much About Me, and Crib Notes

You've heard me talk about my bestie, Winter Prosapio, who's got to be the Patron Saint of Besties (for god's sake, don't tell her I said that, she'll be intolerable). Winter has been a best friend to me in every sense, and she knows which closet all the skeletons hang in—which is weird and kind of creepy, and a good reason even I don't loiter in my closets. But probably the best thing about Winter, from a bestie standpoint, is that she still likes me when she disagrees with me and thinks I'm being dumb. Heh, like I'm EVER dumb. I mean, that is just dumb.

Anywho, Winter writes a column for the New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung, where she's made Germans laugh every week for five years! And she's compiled some of her best into a book called Crib Notes: Reports from the Front Lines of Motherhood.

So what I'm saying to you all is, how about getting the woman who birthed you a gift? Or any other miracle-workin' mama who turned all those jettisoned little spermies into something that walks, talks, and squawks and takes your all your money? She will totally GET this book. Case in point, maybe YOU! And your full share of parental chuckles will only cost you $0.99. True! Deal of the century, I'm tellin' ya.

Wanna know what's inside the book? Here's a taste:

From "Be Mine. Get the Glue": Valentine's Day takes on a whole different level of complexity when small children are involved, because small children must love everyone in their class. I don't disapprove of this rule; frankly, I'd live in terror of my child being the one that didn't score enough Valentines to keep her off a therapist's couch in March.

From "Oh Deer": Some years you'd never see a carcass on a section of busy highway; then all of a sudden it was as if Vulture King had opened up a drive-through.

From "Staying Home with Daddy": The weight limit on jump castles and slip and slides would increase because dads are never satisfied with just watching from the sidelines. We'd have sing-alongs and nursery rhymes that involve such classics as the pulling-of-the-finger and burping along with daddy. Strollers would come with all-terrain wheels, helmets, and air bags for off-roading. Diaper bags would come in camouflage—urban and jungle. Play Doh would come in 5-gallon buckets and suitable for building a full-size replica of Stonehenge.

Go ahead now, go give her a look. And after you've downloaded your bargain read, why not leave a review on Amazon?
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