I admit, I am a fan of this word. I am this word occasionally—no apologies. But I really don't like the word yelled at me in a manner specifically designed to hurt me. I personally don't use it on anybody else unless it's in good fun (as in, "Girlfriend, you are stinkin' hawt! You bitch!") or in reference to an authentic bitch-on-wheels while he or she is nowhere around. I have no problem with civil confrontation when it's warranted, but face to face bitch-calling just results in cat fights—of which I am not a fan—and gives women a bad name.Let's examine the way bitch makes its grand entrance in anger. Slow motion, shall we? There's the preliminary buildup that consists of the deliverer's head either spinning to a halt or snapping upward into the lock-and-load position. Eyes zero in on you to the exclusion of all proximal happenings, lips quiver and curl while nostrils flare toro-esquely, teeth vibrate and the jaw juts out as if in a wanton lunge for your throat. And then the noise bolts out, uninhibited. Sharp and arrogant, insistent and insidious, punctuated on the rearend with a succinct "ch" that reverberates in your ear canal and sands the tip right off your tail bone.
Bi-i-i-i-t-CH!
It's much harder for dedicated potty-mouths to rasp:- Lying ewe!
- Wicked mare!
- Stinking jill!
- Egotistical lioness!
- Goddamn doe!
How would it be if every time we were gifted with this moniker, our entire demeanor changed, we grew a grin, and chirped, "I knew you liked me!" If the power to hurt us with this word were diminished by a hearty welcome, those who wield it so caustically would have to resort to using something else. Of course, then I'd have to reclaim a different word for the purposes of ranting. Point is, I think we ought to get a little more creative. Switch things up. Try it, will ya? And let me know how the freakin' hinneys respond.
Flared nostrils are so unlady like!
ReplyDeleteThat was a bitchin' post!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite use of the word is bitch-slap as in "Don't make me come over there and bitch-slap you." The word and the gesture seem made for each other, don't they?
ReplyDeleteI'm so 80's because I always just think, Bitchin'. I almost never use expletives directly at someone. Behind their back, now that's a completely different matter. The things I say alone in my truck! Phew.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
SLC
I am so with you on this!!
ReplyDeleteLovin peahen. But I'm feeling "hyena lips" as a possible contender. Sea Witch
ReplyDeleteLove that word!
ReplyDeleteOh, Kimber, honey, I've been responding like that to the word bitch for years!! Because when someone calls me that, I know I've done my job....
ReplyDelete:))
Not a word that I use really, but it tends not to be in the lingua franca of the civil service over here. Maybe we should start - it would liven us up.
ReplyDeleteThe word is perfectly constructed but, overly used...I guess. :)
ReplyDeleteWell "cougars" is another one too.
ReplyDeleteI subscribe to the belief that being a bitch really isn't a bad thing!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've ever called anyone a bitch... except in my head and when that happens, there's so much name calling going on in my head, I usually forget what made me angry in the first place.
ReplyDeleteI once saw a car with large flowery decals in the rear window, that read "Princess Bitch" and below it there was something like "and proud of it!"
ReplyDeleteI am thoroughly mystified why anyone would take pride in being something so obnoxious and unpleasant.
I do realize, though, that as far as insult value is concerned? Your description of its effects on the ear canal and the tail bone are spot on! :)
oh, and injaynesworld has it right: bitch-slap does seem to make a right good combination!
ReplyDeleteJust don't do that in a business meeting...:)
I love the word 'bitch' and use it in my posts. I use it when a woman deserves it and last week one at the airport did. So I did. So there.
ReplyDeleteBut my face DOES NOT look like your description when I deliver the word. I say it with a sweet smile. :-)
Di
The Blue Ridge Gal
I so like the slow motion prep of the delivery. Head in lock and load position, eyes zero in, lips quiver, teeth vibrate, jaw jut. So cool.
ReplyDeleteLOL... bitch isn't a word us well spoken Brits would normally use ;0)) but as I live out of the country... I LOVE it.
ReplyDeleteMy Mum used to call my Dad 'a jessie'... hmmmm
I don't have PMS. I'm a natural bitch!
ReplyDeleteBitch stands for "Babe in Total Control of Herself." That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!
ReplyDeleteI think that calling a guy a "peacock" could be pretty insulting! haha!
ReplyDeleteMy understanding is that there's actually a historical background to this word. Once upon a time, the female was revered and considered a deity and actually in some eastern european countries The Bitch was a provider goddess, but when a monotheistic male god religion took over The Bitch was turned into badness. Who knows.
ReplyDeleteMyself, I prefer to use 'rancid cow'. I know a few of those.
I love posts about language. I have one of those "You say Bitch like it's a bad thing" magnets on my refrigerator. The word itself is hard and ugly. I'll try your approach if the occasion ever presents itself. I mean, if anyone dares call me that to my face.
ReplyDeleteIt's often whispered behind my back, I suspect.
Feminist though I claim to be, I don't have much of a problem with the b-word. You don't have to think too long to discover that cursing is an equal opportunity insulter.
ReplyDeleteI so enjoyed reading this post and then the comments...lol...I agree with your take on this! :) Thanks for the smile! :)
ReplyDeleteLove your attitude. You will definitely be invited to the circle! ;)
ReplyDeleteLove it!
ReplyDeleteSo funny. I am going to see my dentist tomorrow...I will try this out!!!
ReplyDeleteMy ex once told me, "I think you've called me every name in the book"
ReplyDeleteTo be clear(!), I hadn't called her a bitch. I asked, "Why are you bitching at me? He did it (her brother)."
It was then that I was the biggest asshole she had ever known, a "PRICK".
Hurt, I was, to my very core. Still, I did not call her a bitch (Well, not at that point anyway ;-).
good point - I always turn down eminem (no apologies for my taste in music) - at the point where he says "BITCH" really loudly - don't want to corrupt my son :D
ReplyDeleteI think I'm the goddamned doe!
ReplyDeleteSorry, Oh, and Otin?
ReplyDeleteIt is.
It's such a versatile word. My brother and I use it on each other all the time. It shows how much we care.
ReplyDeleteWhere have you been all my life. I am laughing myself silly. God knows I need some laughter these days. You are going to become a favorite rather quickly.
ReplyDeleteI use the word "cow" instead of bitch. It's less loaded. But I do say F**k a lot.....
ReplyDeleteGoddamn Doe!
ReplyDeleteLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
Egotistical lioness.
ReplyDelete;)
Hilarious and very original concept. Love it.
ReplyDeleteI, too, love the word bitch. I am one (sometimes) - and I call others it in moments of love, hate, envy and disgust. It's oh so versatile!!
ReplyDeleteYou're right... I'm just not sure another word could fit all those things.
I like the way my daughter says it - beeoch.
ReplyDeleteI find that I can typically serve up a nice big plate of STFU and I don't even have to use the word bitch.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm just that good. ;)
No, no, no, you're supposed to smile and use that southern accent saying it very slowly - 'b e o t c h'
ReplyDeleteSay it to a southern woman, and she will gasp. Try it. She will. Why, you ask? Well, because it's just so rude, y'all.
ReplyDelete(Not that there aren't quite a few southern bitches, of course. I think I've had to work with almost all of them!)
ooh that word is so loaded. i don't think i really ever say that word to a person's face. i don't think. when i'm all fired up i go for the C word, and that is when things get ugly real fast. :)
ReplyDeleteDoes it mean anything if "bitch" is used as an adjective instead of as a noun?
ReplyDeleteya know, that word doesn't offend me, even if hurled at me in anger. My response is almost always a bit of a sniffle and an eyelash fluttering and "aww, thank you. that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." ... or something of that nature. I like to change it up sometimes *grins* ;)
ReplyDelete'sow' has general impoliteness potential ...
ReplyDeleteI've been called "pea-BRAINED" but never a "Pea-Hen". Interesting. Or a "ewe" as in "ewe's not fat, ewe's just fluffy".
ReplyDelete