My New Most Embarrasing Moment

I've ruined my daughters. At least my oldest two. In my kitchen last night, candidly discussing sex (where they explained how it all works to me), TeeGee revealed what she had witnessed at roughly age eight. It's totally embarrassing but too funny not to tell my closest blogging buddies about. So just keep it between us, okay?

Twenty years ago, apparently my then-husband and I were not content to mess around in our bedroom. The details are so vague that I didn't remember this. However, my daughter, even at 30, still remembers -- a memory so vivid that she will undoubtedly grimace and squirm for the rest of her life over it.

Laying in the dark of her room one night while her younger sisters slept, TeeGee heard some racket in the hallway. It was then that she saw her stepfather lugging something over his shoulder -- me -- as he hurried down the hallway, both of us completely naked.

TeeGee's recollection stunned me, as I had no idea she had ever seen me in any kind of compromising position ever. EVER!

All I could do was cover my mortified face in my hands. "Are you serious?" I bellowed, peeking through my fingers. "You saw us? Naked?"

"Mom, I have one word for you. Floppy."

I busted out laughing at the same time I wished for a deep, dark hole to squeeze myself into and zip shut.

"And I heard weird noises from the living room, Mom. I was scared and I couldn't go to sleep."

Oh. My. God. It all came back to me then. I remembered that night. Actually, quite fondly . . .

TeeGee rolled her eyes in revulsion. That's when my other daughter, Scoots, said to me, "That's nothing. One time, I saw you . . ."

Ah, but that is a sordid story for another day.

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