April 12, 2011

I Noticed Some Stuff

Yup, I was just looking around this week, waiting for word on my ailing laptop, and this is what I noticed:

Backup drives are as important as your last will and testament, especially when losing your hard drive makes you want to roll over and die.

Having to choose between transitive or intransitive lie, lay, laid, lain, lying, or laying makes my brain shrivel to the size of a raisin lying in the sun. Or is it laying in the sun? Kill me now...

My first sunburn of the year took 45 minutes: 15 to burn and 30 to realize the shade had moved.

Tween boys are like pop farts. Cute and gross at the same time.

Source Code is gripping and worth the ticket. Your Highness is ridiculous in a Monty Python sort of way, for which I offer two words and one unforgettable image:  penis medallion.

You never really forget how to cook. It's like having sex. You turn up the heat, throw in the good stuff, and hope it tastes better than it looks.

I don't know how threatening to "rain a shitstorm down on you" got translated to "Nana's gonna poop a storm," but y'all need to quit telling on me. Your mother turned out okay . . .

Tickets are on sale now for my April 30 performance at the Listen to Your Mother Show in Austin, HERE. Come on out and see me!