Oh yeah! I am diggin' my new strap-on, people. I have worn it everywhere cuz nobody can see it under my clothes, and as a result, my girls get a nice perky lift.
Is that the funniest word in the history of the English language, or what? Strap-on. Can YOU say it without chuckling? Go ahead, say it out loud right now. Loud and proud, people! I dare ya: Strap-on!
My daughter said it a couple weeks ago, in the course of telling me some newsy story, and as soon as she said, "strap-on" I started cracking up. She stopped talking and said, "What. I just have to say that word and you start laughing."
I don't know why she was giving me that disgusted look. (All of my daughters were born with the capacity to flash this look at anyone, anytime, anywhere. I just seem to be the most frequent recipient.) So I said, "Hell yeah! Have you seen those pornos where people are using strap-ons? They're funny." (Yes, I asked my daughter this question. She's an adult, people.) I mean, I'm sure strap-ons have their therapeutic uses, mm-hmm. Know what I'm saying? But I just get a picture in my mind that always drives me into the gutter, which is the place I do most of my ROFLMAO.
Of course, my new strap-ons don't have quite the same utility. Here they are:
I love these strap-ons (AAAHHH-hahaha!), cuz I hate when my bra straps show, and in summer you just NEED these little suckers to wear under tank tops and shirts with not quite enough fabric in the back. And look, they have that flirty heart-shaped design, which I never noticed until I looked at this picture. Heh, I'm flirty without even trying -- just wearing my strap-on!
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH-hahahahahaha!
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Hi, I’m stupid.
3 days ago
