July 26, 2009

Diggin' My New Strap-On!

Oh yeah! I am diggin' my new strap-on, people. I have worn it everywhere cuz nobody can see it under my clothes, and as a result, my girls get a nice perky lift.

Is that the funniest word in the history of the English language, or what? Strap-on. Can YOU say it without chuckling? Go ahead, say it out loud right now. Loud and proud, people! I dare ya: Strap-on!

My daughter said it a couple weeks ago, in the course of telling me some newsy story, and as soon as she said, "strap-on" I started cracking up. She stopped talking and said, "What. I just have to say that word and you start laughing."

I don't know why she was giving me that disgusted look. (All of my daughters were born with the capacity to flash this look at anyone, anytime, anywhere. I just seem to be the most frequent recipient.) So I said, "Hell yeah! Have you seen those pornos where people are using strap-ons? They're funny." (Yes, I asked my daughter this question. She's an adult, people.) I mean, I'm sure strap-ons have their therapeutic uses, mm-hmm. Know what I'm saying? But I just get a picture in my mind that always drives me into the gutter, which is the place I do most of my ROFLMAO.

Of course, my new strap-ons don't have quite the same utility. Here they are:

I love these strap-ons (AAAHHH-hahaha!), cuz I hate when my bra straps show, and in summer you just NEED these little suckers to wear under tank tops and shirts with not quite enough fabric in the back. And look, they have that flirty heart-shaped design, which I never noticed until I looked at this picture. Heh, I'm flirty without even trying -- just wearing my strap-on!

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH-hahahahahaha!
.

47 comments:

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

Damn I want one lol.

Julie said...

Dammit you got me all excited on a Sunday morning. I never pictured you as the strap on type but sister, you wear it well!

The Peach Tart said...

I love these things. Lifts, separates and makes the girls look perky. What more can you ask for?

Betty said...

Looks pretty practical! Too bad they don´t sell these in my country... :)
But yes I do smile when I think of "strap ons" and I have daughters with the ability to pass out those glaces as well! :)

otin said...

And you don't even need vaseline with those strap ons!

Well, you opened up the door for that comment!!!!! LMAO!

darsden said...

LOL omgoodness...hey I know that kid look too ..use it still to this day!


OMG otin you are bad!

Not The Rockefellers said...

Strap on...Strap off..Strap on strap off.....

The strapper

Peace - Rene

Candice said...

Hmm, so these things actually work? Where can I find these strap-ons you speak of?

Also I don't get the strap-on thing pornos. Especially when 2 ladies are using one.

I've never understood why one girl would give another girl wearing a plastic schlong a bj. I'm thinking someone is a wee bit confused.

This is a fabulous early Sunday morning topic, by the way. Love it!

terri said...

I'm gonna have to get me one of those strap ons! Here I've been wearing my tanks with my bra straps hanging out like the young girls do. Problem is, I'm not a young girl anymore.

Love your sense of humor!

Jazz said...

How is that design "flirty"? I need to know, cause damn if I can see the flirtiness.

powdergirl said...

Yep, those little strap-ons rock. I hate the visible bra-strap look too.
And yeah, that's a great word(s).
Around here we also have 'Snap-On Tools"
I can hardly stand it when I see one of there logo's drive by.
The visuals always reduce me to teen-age boy humor.
I'm sure your daughter would be disgusted with me : D

midlife slices said...

I see you've been quite busy without going to the blogher cultfest. I don't feel left out but then again, I'm not doing this to make money. I don't need to be in a crowd of bitchy women all trying to out do each other......I can just go down to my local real estate office to see that same girl on girl action. :)

Strap ons.....cool. I must find some of these lovelies.

daisyfae said...

very cool! i gotta get me some of these... oh, and "strap on" (*snort*)

DebraLSchubert said...

Wow, I never realized there were two different kinds of strap-ons! Guess I've been living in a cave. Where do you find these babies, anyway? I'm more interested in the perky breast part than hiding the straps. Thanks for sharing, but some better photos would have been helpful.;-)

Kristina P. said...

I don't know if you remember my post on these or not, but they definitely do a good job at hiding straps. Not giving you a full bust sice increase.

AND, I'm an idiot and had to have my husband help me get them on.

♪♥♫Tracy♪♥♫ said...

Whoa those are cool! I want one! Wonder if they're sold in Norway??

Mental P Mama said...

You got me;)

blognut said...

Awesome new toy you have there. I have something similar and it brings me a world of freedom from unnecessary bra-strap flaunting!

Eva Gallant said...

I am behind the times..the only strap-on I'd ever heard of was the porn one, and I couldn't figure out how the hell that was going to keep your girls perky! lol

Bella said...

Don't you reckon a piece of string or a bread tie would work just as well? kinda like using Jiffy Pop over a doorway in case of fire?

LOL for the love of perkiness, well, I never!! ha!

The Wife O Riley said...

I had the phone in my hand to order this when I first saw it on TV. Then they said it would make you look like you went up a cup size, and I totally don't want that!! I'm already at a DD.

I heard the other kind of strap-on (yes, I giggle too) are exhausting. Just sayin'

Paige Lacey said...

Thank God that's the "strap-on" you were talking about. I was blushing to my (slightly darker than the rest of my hair) roots until I scrolled down a bit...

You're so funny, Woman!

Missy said...

I have got to try this! I love the Strap-On title! LOL

SweetPeaSurry said...

love love love ya strap-on!

funny post!

blessings!

dana said...

A few years back I bought a bit of covered elastic at Walmart and fashioned a strap that went from one bra strap to the other, in back, and attached it. It kept both straps in place. And now this gets invented. Damn. I could be RICH!!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I can only imagine the visits you'll get with this title. LOL So this thing works? I saw it but wondered about how comfortable it is.

phd in yogurtry said...

And the full added cup size? I saw the commercials and thought they were trying to strap one over on me.

Lisa said...

Me, too! I want a strap on! And why should we ever pass up a chance to make a funny with words? Never!

Jocelyn said...

Just yesterday, I needed one of those.

The bra kind, goofus.

I spent most of the day wondering why tank top manufacturers seem never to have looked at where bra straps land on the shoulders. They is dummmm.

Justine said...

When I read your title, my mind SO went there... in the gutter.

Justine :o )

diane said...

They look like Chinese fighting weapons. You are a hoot, and I love you. To think that all of this time I've been using a twisty-tie back there.

Lady Mama said...

I think I haven't had enough coffee this morning because I was staring at the picture wondering how the heck it worked! I get it now. ha! I need one of those.

Madame DeFarge said...

I think I'd need stronger elastic and several burly men to get the same effect. They'd have to pull pretty hard.

Pastor Sharon said...

Well dear, the title of this post certainly catches one's attention. . . . next thing I know you'll be advertising for Snap-on Tools! LOL

misticblu said...

Thanks for the visit! OMG I read the strap on post to my husband. Now he seems very interested blogging.... hmmmm...
Love your Blog!

nothingfancy1 said...

Yeah...my thought after reading your first sentence was...well, you know, not the strap-on that you're talking about. And I thought, "gosh, i didn't know that about her"

I need to get out more.

sherri said...

I was wondering how a strap-on made your girls look perkier. might have to try this kind.it looks like it would be uncomfortable though - is it?

Beth said...

I have one, too, and I love it! It helps my As get a little lift.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Crazygirl! I thought you'd been online shopping again.

Fragrant Liar said...

It's actually pretty comfortable. I didn't even know I had it on, just didn't feel it there, and the girls getting a little closer together for the occasion worked out just fine! :)

Amy said...

True Confession: I read your post just because it had the word "strap-on" in the title. Now I don't know who the bigger perv is. You for trying to lure me in with that, or me for taking the bait.

♥ Braja said...

You're a nutcase and I love you...:))

King of New York Hacks said...

I'll but one for each of my family members ...and none of them will open them ....ever LOL !!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Awesome!

Michelle Grant said...

Whew! I know how you like to put it out there and you had me scared for a second, sister!

Farmers Wife said...

Well you certainly got my attention.......

Alkemie said...

WOw! I didn't realize they had these nifty things. I totally need a package so that my straps don't show when wearing racerbacks. Nice post!

Cheers,
Karen Olivia