July 12, 2010

Alone and Naked with Yanni

I just got home after five days in Hotlanta where I visited my daughter and her husband, my beloved Miss America, Destructo, and Baby Shaboobka (See pic to the right. Note how helpful Miss America is at getting a cranky Destructo to smile). On walking through the door in Florida, I was slammed in the face with the realization that I don't like living alone. In fact, other than the delicious freedom to run around naked with ice cream and listening to Yanni full blast, it sucks, yo.

So thank you very much, children of mine, for growing up and turning out all independent and well-adjusted and smart and wonderful, and replicatin' yer bad selves with angels. Apparently my efforts to make you clingy and dependent and servile have failed miserably, and now you've gone and left me ALONE. You know how I hate doing my own laundry. I didn't raise you to be so cruel!

Oh, I hear what you're thinking people (because you know the code of support among bloggers). "Wow, Fragrant Liar should be happy. After all, she was an astonishingly mind-blowing single mother who singlehandedly raised FOUR DAUGHTERS."

I know! The horrormones! The horrormones! Pity me.

And this, in keeping with the code of support, no doubt: "That Fragrant Liar, she is the maternal model of sainthood. Her kids actually still like her! Praise Prozac."

I know! Even my parents adore me (after the dog)! I totally can't help it.

Oh but please, I'm much too modest to take ALL the credit. The girls did, after all, have a sperm donor. I think he donated elsewhere, too, so he does have a smidge of generosity. Yes, it's in his pants. But you have to give him credit. His strategy for never paying child support or calling or sending birthday cards or showing up worked brilliantly.

I know! The girls lucked out and got the "Oh yeah?" snotty gene from me. In spite of being fatherless, they RAWK!

Alas, I am still here on my own, lamenting how far away my kids are and how living alone is not remotely part of my true calling. But until I meet someone who thinks I'm as extraordinary as I do (Shhh! Don't forget the code!), I guess I will just have to make due with Yanni.

Aw, it's okay. It's Rocky Road day.
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57 comments:

powdergirl said...

I like how Baby Shaboobka is nearly as tall as you already : D Too cute.

And I like how you can so graciously state that your ex has the giving quality of 'generosity', you're a big hearted little thing, ain'tcha?

Another asset you could list when extolling his virtues might be that he did have that ONE romantic bone in his body...

Lookin' good, Sugah : )

daisyfae said...

it takes time. as a brand new, divorced empty-nester, i spent a lot of time walking through the house asking myself "now what?"

you may never learn to love it, but it's important to do it. i always figure that if i eventually hate living alone, i might be more tolerant of a room mate with quirks.

bunny said...

Yeah...I like being alone too sometimes...but I can't convince my hubby. You crack me up!!

tootles,
bunny

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

My goodness you are positively radiant in that photo!

Yeah, me too with the alone-ness
I find I need other voices, hearbeats and noises to mark my day :)

Peace ~ Rene

Snappy Di said...

Personally I love being away from our kids and grandkids. Can't take all the noise of them running in and out of the house, doors slamming, babies crying... Guess I'm just an old grump.

Di

Life in the Crone Lane said...

Awww I love living alone. Maybe it's because I'm difficult to live with...er...picky. But I have been alone for lo these several months now and nary once (okay maybe once) have I longed for the company of another person. Maybe for a couple of hours *snicker* but that's about it. :)

Everyday Goddess said...

Great post! You are so witty and obviously gorgeous, maybe the alone part is just a temporary astrological glitch?

Pass that Rocky Road over here!

slommler said...

I will take the Butter Pecan please!! And I would look at being alone as a temporary thing...life has a way of changing really fast!!
Hang on!!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Lisa said...

I love that photo!

Move to Atlanta! Move to Atlanta! she pleaded selfishly.

Candice said...

That picture is hilarious.

As far as living alone, you can always adopt a few assholes, er, I mean, children. That would cure you of your pity party. ;)

Que said...

If you want you alone time to be more effective, you should mix Yanni with the Best of Barry Manilow CD. Throw that in your IPOD, dock it and rock it! There's something about that mix that really changes a person. :)

mac said...

I think you are extraordinary, but we haven't met. Not yet.

McGillicutty said...

firstly you are way too young to have raised 4 girls and have grandkids... aren't you????
secondly.. you're in Ocala... the villages are just a hobble away, go get you a companion... that is if you really want one.
I see you with Kev Costner before Yanni... just sayin'.

Irish Gumbo said...

Cute kids. Cute g'mom (oops, I said it!), but I notice you didn't specify what you were doing with the ice cream. I assume you meant eating it, but all that naked talk got me distracted.

The Apocalypse Now reference? Genius, my dear, genius. Loved it :)

Eva Gallant said...

Nothing wrong with being naked, eating ice cream and being with Yanni....he totally RAWKS!

Pastor Sharon said...

Cute kids! Hotlanta is right! It is HOT down there! And since you are too young to have grandbabbies, who's kid did you snag to get that cute photo? And if they really are yours, did you start having babies at two years old?
There was that the kinda code you might be looking for?

You are a good Mom! I bet it was hard to let you go, when you left to go home.

Vodka and Ground Beef said...

I love the title of the your blog!!! Too good, too good.

Breathe said...

Yeah, I was a little worried about you going from chaos to quiet. Give it another few weeks. I think you can find your happy place.

Or get a puppy. Trust me. There are days I wish I had just stuck with a puppy.

Debb said...

Hi There, great blog! I must admit after my 1st hub left and my 3 kids grew and moved out, I loved living alone! Of course, then I got remarried and blew that out of the water lol.

Jason, as himself said...

I think you're extraordinary! Superbly so! You rock. Good job.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I love that photo.
Is it horrible if I mention the idea of living alone sounds like a little slice of heaven? I mean, just for a week or so ......... at least.

Suzy said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You've GOT to take yourself on a trip. A real trip. Away from the US, away from the kids, away away away. And I'm not talking about a cruise to the Caribbean.

Surely you have the urge to see Rome? Paris? My mom just got back from a remote island in Greece. She's 81.

Sarah Lulu said...

You rock. Yes you do.

I'm about where you are but not quite yet.....

Be moving maybe after Christmas ..and I'll be child free for the first time in 33 years ...

I'd like someone to shake me up more than a bit ....

I'll wish it for you ...you wish it for me ok?

In the meantime I'm going on a cruise of the Pacific Islands in 3 weeks!

Danica said...

Cute photo!!!

I miss my living alone days.....some days.

Hang in there!

Cara and Jenn said...

thanks for the visit today!

Cara

ellen abbott said...

Oh yeah, the horrormones. My grandson, the only boy with three sisters, would come over to our house (next door) when his father went to work in the evenings. With his mom and 3 sisters there was too much estrogen in the house for him.

Kay said...

awww... it's tough being wonderful! :) I give you props for being so, probably one of the coolest grandmas on the planet!!!!

Pat said...

That photo is just priceless! I love that your granddaughter feels the need to help her brother "smile"!

Kudos to you for raising your daughters on your own! That is such an accomplishment!

Wait. There's something WRONG with eating ice cream, running around naked and, okay, maybe there IS something wrong with listening to Yanni, but that's my own opinion. LOL!

TechnoBabe said...

Wow, just think you have four places to visit and crash as long as you want and then go home to run naked through your house again. Sounds pretty good to me!

Wendi said...

Yanni makes it ALLLL better. He has magic in that mustache.

yogurt said...

You've got so much to be proud of. I'm really and truly in awe. I often feel overwhelmed raising three with a helpful husband in tow. Seriously.

But I can imagine, after life raising four daughters on your own, being alone must feel extremely, well, still, and, perhaps, quiet, and maybe even a tad, lonely. Hoping you will grow to love your quiet independence. With lots of hug-filled visits in between.

drollgirl said...

i live alone now too, and BOY IS IT QUIET. yikes. there are pros and cons to living alone, for sure. but i bet your kids adore you and love to see you as often as possible! THEY BETTER!

foxy said...

LOVE that photo! So funny.

You know, I think I somehow saw this coming... so I'm not really super surprised.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Have another bowl of Rocky Road. All a new adjustment - hang in there. Pretty soon, you will get along with yourself a little too well.

Be good to yourself.

Pearl said...

You have a great looking family.

And rocky road day?! I'll be right over!

Pearl

otin said...

Living alone can have it's good points, but it gets old after a while.

I read a lot about fathers who just don't give a crap and that is really sad!

Gaelyn said...

I lived alone for a long time and learned to absolutely love it. Now I'm in love and happily living with Mike. Yet it does take some getting used to sharing space with someone. You are So lucky to have your kids within visiting distance. This is a great time to know yourself even better.

Lori said...

Running through the house naked, eating icecream with music cranked sounds totally completely delicious. :) Sadly, I have never known the feeling of living all by my lonesome....went from living at home with my parents to being a mom and then I have been a single mom with my kids but never alone. I think it would be wonderful for awhile but then I would miss what I have now. The picture of you with your grandchildren is simply adorable. XX

Jocelyn said...

Step. Away. From. The. Yanni.

You'll find your peeps, I'm sure--being the convivial lass you are. In the meanwhile, I'm sorry for the lonelies you're feeling and hope you can discover quite soon exactly why you're in the right place...

Eternally Distracted said...

I love the forced smile...

Get a quirky roomie so you can tell us all about their bad habits!

secret agent woman said...

I love time alone, but my sons have been gone for almost two weeks with their Dad and I have found myself rattling around the house wishing they were back.

Princess Stupidhead said...

I have been where you are - first living alone rocked because I wasn't living in the situation I was living in alone. All the things you could do without getting permission or even telling anyone. You could go anywhere, do anything. Except that eventually you don't want to do it alone.

I think it's good to have this time though. Eventually someone wonderful came my way and I'm not alone now, but I still think that time was very very valuable and helped me make wise decisions in the relationship department.

Hilary said...

I love the photo.. and the helping hand which aids the smile. Too funny. I sure hope there are grandchildren in my future before I'm TOO much older. :)

Joker_SATX said...

Cute kids!

Hey, I think that maybe now is the time to make some friends here. As I recall, you are up in the Hill Country. Ever get down to SA? Arkham here is located on the North Side of SA. I also know a few other bloggers here in SA.

Maybe its time I coordinated a Blogger-meet. Hmmmm...now you have me thinking....

Liberality said...

That baby on your lap is cute as a button!!!

The other kids are great too. I like the attitude of the oldest there.

You do look too young to have grandkids!!!

mac said...

Joker has a swell idea there....

Nancy said...

Quite frankly, I'm shocked someone hasn't found you already!

I hate living so far from my daughters, too. :-(

injaynesworld said...

I can't even imagine raising four children all on your own -- not to mention doing such a stellar job at it. I'm still trying to raise myself.

You seriously need to get a dog now. My Chihuahua, Dixie, fills my days with joy. I've always lived alone, but never without a pet.

And you've inspired me to dig out my Yanni CDs.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Grandchildren! Sigh. Someday.

Jason, as himself said...

Come over to The Jason Show and help me fight cancer today. I'll show you my bare chest if you do.

tattytiara said...

Still laughing over the fish hook smile. That's too funny.

Bernie said...

It is only natural that you would be lonely at first. Maybe you will get to like being alone. The trick is to have a lot of women friends and men friends and to fill up your social calendar with a lot of activities so you have some sort of scheduled days and things to do. Volunteer or get a part time job. This advice from an old lady may not seem to fit but it works and you could try it and see if it works for you if you can't think of anything better. Weren't you going to get serious about writing your novel? Or was it dancing with your navel?

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Well why not just track Yanni down and take him? I mean, he's not busy or anything is he?

And that picture cracks. me. up! I love how Miss America is tweaking a smile out of Destructo - HA!

Phoebe's Pretty Pictures said...

one thing I can say for sure is that we will never have an argument over Mr. Yanni, he's all yours sister.

I think you are an amazing mom and an inspiration to all the rest of the single moms out there.

lots of love

Mrsblogalot said...

I'm with Jayne.

A dog...you know, just until....and even after...would be awesome.

Ooooh!!! And name him Yanni!!!

Madame DeFarge said...

Yanni does offer a tremendous moustache though, so you'd have to go some way to find competition for that.

Eternally Distracted said...

just checkin' in on ya... come back!