December 5, 2011

Because, Well, I Can

I'm a girl who truly appreciates a thoughtful man, so bear with me while I talk up my boyfriend. Hot Sexy Man (HSM) came back bearing gifts from his recent trips afar. He seems to have a knack for choosing just the right things for me, so I think I'm going to keep him. Because, well, he keeps calling.

Here I am with my little Destructo, 
wearing my new pearls.
(Click to enlarge.)
First, let me quote Diane Sawyer who once said, "There's no substitute for paying attention." Hardly a more apropos statement, I assure you, cuz lucky for me, HSM really listens. After I mentioned I'd never had one and thought it would be the absolute coolest, HSM came home from Virginia with a beautiful pearl necklace. That's right, my BF gave me a pearl necklace, and I liked it. Of course, we might be talking apples and oranges . . . but whatever, it's my new favorite thing.

Then last week, I discovered just how well HSM knows me—and therefore how much he can see into my soul—after only six months. See, he gave me the gift that keeps on giving, direct from Flagstaff, and I'm re-gifting it to you all. Because, well, you deserve it.

Here it is, my special book: Creative Cussin': A Mix 'n' Match Profanity Generator. And peeps, it's the Redneck Edition. Sweet! It's chock full of preciously inscribed sentiments on spiral rings, and all one has to do, if one is so inclined, is flip through and choose a feeling/attitude/outlook for the day. Does HSM really "get" me, or what?

Curiously, he also gave me some special scented bar soap with cacti embedded in it. Wonder if there's a message in that for my mouth. Hmmm, not too subtle, HSM.

So since this is the season for giving, here's your special sentiment below. Think of it as a little love in a post from me to you. Because, well, I like you.

Now I'm trying to decide where to keep this priceless gem so that everyone who visits me can enjoy it. What do you think? Shall I place it strategically, say, in the bathroom? Or as a coffee table centerpiece? What about in the foyer for those heartfelt goodbyes?

Here's a hug, and one for the road to let you know that I think you're a "Bastard Licker!"

I know. Stops the heart. Everybody, thank HSM. Because, well, he's earned it.
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29 comments:

Kristina P. said...

What a sweet gift!! I would definitely put it on the coffee table.

Pseudo said...

I have been slack on the Internet to the point that I did not know about the hot, sexy, new boyfriend. What a keeper!! Pearls AND a profanity book. AWESOME.

mac said...

You had me thinking other things for a moment with the pearl necklace.

Good job ! I have needed a laugh :-D

And, congrats on finding a good guy. He's a lucky one.

injaynesworld said...

He's the lucky one, and it would appear that he knows it. Now that's a good guy.

Gaelyn said...

I'd say HSM is definitely a keeper. He knows where you're heart is, and hopefully a few other places as well.

Suzy said...

SO HAPPY FOR YOU (both). I hope this becomes a permanent situation for you guys.

My mom bought me pearls. Are you crying yet?

Red Shoes said...

Pearl necklaces are fun to give...

I want one of those cussing books...

~shoes~

SueAnn said...

That's a new one on me! Haven't heard that phrase! Ha!
Yep! He's a keeper
Hugs
SueAnn

Formerly known as Frau said...

Love the pearls....oh yay he is a keeper!

Brian Miller said...

most definitely...pearl necklaces rock...and who can not use more creativity in their profanity...if i can find one i might give it to the the guy that stands on the street corner down town...he could use some variety....

Eryn said...

Such a thoughtful guy... me thinks he knows a little more than he's letting on... ;-)

Linda Medrano said...

This HSM seems to have your number. Seems he even calls your number! I think pearls are a wonderful gift! The other things too, but you can never go wrong with pearls!

meleah rebeccah said...

HSM rules. And I totally want my own copy of Creative Cussin!

Eva Gallant said...

Ah, A man who understands you! Definitely a keeper!

Lisa said...

What a sweet guy! It's very cool that he gets you. Baubles and cussin. Girl, I'd say you're set.

Murr Brewster said...

Sweet porking mud flaps, that's brilliant!

Shrinky said...

Well, judging from that photo, anyone that gorgeous DESERVES to be gifted a set of pearls! Awwww, this lad of yours sounds so awesome, he just has to be a keeper. As to that book there, I have a bookcase in my loo simply begging for a copy..!

Reading 'tween the line, sounds to me like you're set to have a brilliant Christmas.

daisyfae said...

Excellent gift! Definitely coffee table material. i keep "Images that you should not masturbate to" on my coffee table. Always gets conversation going!

HSM is a keeper. Definitely a keeper!

Nezzy said...

Men, well never figure out the way they thing!!! Venus and Mars baby!

God bless and have an excellent day!!!

Sorry, no cussin' allowed on the Ponderosa...wouldn't be prudent! Heeehehe!

otin said...

It's definitely bathroom material! I want one!

Sherry said...

Sounds like to two of you are a good match and that both of you are fortunate to have found each other.

Michelle Wells Grant said...

OMG, he DOES get you! One gift for the pretty girly girl and one for the potty mouth girl! You lucky Bastard Licker!

drollgirl said...

oooooooh, so glad to hear you have a new man! and a thoughtful one! and one that listens! SCORE! hold on to that one! :)

Midlife Jobhunter said...

I think you should keep it at my house. Then you could visit and I could use it on days when you can't.

I need to meet this man now that I'm coming out of hibernation.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

HA! HSM is truly an SSM. Sounds dirty, but sadly, all I meant was "Smart, Sensitive Man."
Fun-nay!!

♥ Braja said...

Bastard Licker??!! lol ... LOVE IT. I want that on my book cover.

Wait...maybe I need to write a book called Bastard Licker. I've been trying out post titles that simply grab attention, and it's working.

♥ Braja said...

i have NOT forgotten the aquamarine fabric. do you know, i actually think of that color every time I see your name? it's a long time coming, but it shall arrive, that day....i'm gonna have to include you in my will, in case i don't get around to it and die before i do....coverin' all bases, y'know....

Joanna Jenkins said...

A pearl necklace? Sweet!

xoxo jj

Bella said...

your necklace is beautiful and so are you! hope you are enjoying the holiday season. P&P (pearls and profanity), precious! ha!