December 21, 2011

Sucking Up the Family Genius

In my family of origin, improv is just a part of who we are. By improv, I mean, we make stuff up, not necessarily stand-up. Although, we also think we're freakin' hilarious and can offend others on command. Plus, commandeering other people's conversations through the interjection of lame word puns has been part of our hey-look-at-me arsenal for anyone unlucky enough to make eye contact. Not me, I'm saying, but, you know, the rest of my family.

So my kids have not fallen far from the proverbial make-stuff-up tree, for they too improvise. Take my eldest daughter, TG—a true and certifiable (and gorgeous) genius. Yesterday she decided she needed to clean under her fridge. Well, that part is not exactly something I would ever, EVER do in my lifetime or a nightmare. Cuz really, who cares about the dust amassing where mice gather to conspire humanity's downfall—and poop? Not me. Certainly not the mice. They couldn't give a proverbial rat's ass about public indecency. So when TG fell from the proverbial make-stuff-up tree, she lolled to the right and shimmied a little. But we still love her.

Fact is, TG cares about mice poop. Unfortunately, TG's vacuum attachment was plain ordinary and woefully inadequate and couldn't get way under the fridge to suck out the flotsam and jetsam. (No, those are not mice names. Gawd.) So anyway . . . TG fired up the genius generators and cued the improv genes.

What that means is this:  when you need something important done and you don't have the traditional Black & Decker stuff or a large wad of cash to hire out or kids who are old enough to force into servitude, you think real hard and toss around the "What the hell, why didn't I think of this sooner?" phrase to quickly and efficiently overcome any obstacle. To be even more succinct, we don't know why we think up shit like this; we just do.

To that end, I give you TG's official far-reaching sucker-upper attachment:

Click to enlarge and see the fascinating improvisational details,
revealing my daughter's true and inherited genius.
I know. I'm gonna blush and reiterate, she gets it from me.

If you're short a vacuum attachment for those hard-to-reach areas where mice poop accumulates, here are all the biodegradable materials you'll need:  two used toilet paper rolls, some duct tape, and an entire manicotti noodle (uncooked).

I dare ANYONE to out-do TG on this one.
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For those of you who just came here looking for your creative cussin' combo of the week, it's the holidays and you should be ashamed of yourselves. But—for you—I'll gladly digress:

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14 comments:

Formerly known as Frau said...

Omg....she is brilliant!

Lisa Golden said...

As someone who has done ridiculous things to clean under and on top of things, I bow to TG's genius.

Roshni said...

wow! She should totally patent that!!

Whee Gina said...

That IS brilliant! Manicotti!! the toilet paper roll I already know well, but the manicootti has me very impressed.

daisyfae said...

did she use all the food and whatnot she got in the vacuum cleaner to make a nice manicotti stuffing? that'd be resourceful AND crazy!

Eryn said...

Now that's using' your noodle!! It's called being resourceful!

Linda in New Mexico said...

I can't possibly pass this on to my own daughter....it would be just to easy to see the light in her eye as she plotted some evil thing to do with this tool and her soon to be ex's tool...if you get my drift.
This is funny ya'll. And pure genius.
Oma Linda

Eva Gallant said...

She definitely thinks outside the box!

secret agent woman said...

That's very creative. And also funny. I guess if you needed an even smaller attachment, you could duct-tape on a straw.

♥ Braja said...

I am NEVER coming to your place for pasta....

Shana said...

Brilliant!!!!!!!!!

Happy Christmas to you!!!

ɹǝƃƃolquǝʞoʇ said...

She dun did y'all proud!

Nicole Gamble said...

That IS brilliant!

Ann Imig said...

My kid peed in my bed this morning, and I actually contemplated not changing the sheets.

That's how little I need to get under things.

Happy new Year, Kimber!