January 22, 2012

When Good Women Get Pissy (Again)

You know how you spend your whole adult life trying to be cool-headed and thoughtful and role-model-y for your kids? You might be all angelfishy in the tanky-poo, but then something royally hinky happens to screw up your day, like your lawyer forgets you exist and your case languishes in some dusty file room, and you feel landlocked cuz you wanna swim with the sharks, or better still, be the shark. Uh-oh.

Yeah, suddenly you're transformed. You spit the serenity prayer. You burst your spongy stress ball. You gnash on cheery rainbows. You roll up your sleeves and dare your foe to "Bring it." You huff and puff and lather yourself into a white-hot frenzy that can only be cured by excoriating your victim with a serrated-edged tongue, after which you must shove your overheated body into the freezer. Naked.

Family Safety Hint: During this time? Do not approach your supreme leader. She must cool down, and you cannot facilitate this process with tepid apologies. Plus, she wants to revel in her righteous indignation because it's liberating and empowering and all kinds of orgasmic to be the firing squad for a change. But because she's not normally a sprayer of evil, she is out of practice and you will likely get some on you. Run.

Losing it is not a moment that the kind-hearted, compassionate woman is going to feel proud about afterward. But she will damn-well feel sensational after clearing her head of the nice-girl clutter, the pretentious civility, and the ridiculosity of trying to look at asshattery from someone else's viewpoint. Allow her space. And ice cream. Amen.

You probably didn't know that storming and stomping around is healthy, but the pissy woman gets all aerobic in the venting process. Plus, she will get a blog post out of it. And if a man is involved, he may get take-it-out-on-you sex. Not making promises, but there's anecdotal evidence that it's happened at least once in recorded history. Google.

Since I live alone, there are no witnesses to any gratifying tirades. So if nobody within 10,000 square feet hears me bitch, did it really happen? Crap.

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In Dallas this week workin' for the man, and life has me by the cojones (yes, I have some). Hope you enjoyed this very popular post from the past. 
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22 comments:

Lisa Golden said...

Sometimes we just need a good pissy fit.

Gia said...

Ha, I love how you used kitty pics to go along with this, because cats are total bitches so it definitely fits. Sorry life has you by the big ones!

Eva Gallant said...

Hope the explosion cleared the air!

SueAnn said...

\Nothing like a good rage!!!!!!!
You go girl
Hugs
SueAnn

Whee Gina said...

Are you sure you're not my mom? I have them too and I'm sure it's "All Her Fault" hee hee.

Venom said...

Hoo boy, I can SO relate...

secret agent woman said...

Sometimes stomping around and ranting is just the ticket.

mac said...

My mind got lost in imaginings at the naked freezer part, sorry.

What Gee thinks... said...

Nothing like a fab hissy fit to straighten things from the inside out. My kids run but my husband doesn't (foolish of him!). Love the calm after the storm!

Miss Yvonne said...

I once got so pissy that I threw the first thing I could grab at the wall. A nail clipper.

Kind of anti-climactic, but it did leave a tiny ding in the sheet rock.

Linda Medrano said...

Right on, Sister Rage!

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Before I became all blissed-out, I was known too pitch a fit or ten. For a brief time when I was first married (at 42) throwing things was the only way I could access my anger in order to talk about what was bothering me. (Repressive Minnesota upbringing.)

daisyfae said...

the only cure for this condition is 'take it out on you sex'... fact.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

I wish I could get better at stomping and stamping and throwing things. I never throw stuff, though, because I know I'll have to clean it up. Would be most fun, however.

Pseudo said...

I hate when I have to hold it in, which is most of the time... better to get it vented!

meleah rebeccah said...

"Plus, she wants to revel in her righteous indignation because it's liberating and empowering and all kinds of orgasmic to be the firing squad for a change."

Ahahahhahahahahah! Yep!

I freaking love you.

DangGina said...

I've been meaning to read this since you first posted it, but haven't gotten around to it till now.

Amen, and amen.

Heidi-"Heidi in Real Life" said...

I can so relate. Love the pictures! Excellent post!

About Bobbi C. said...

LOVE THAT!!! Amen!

Michelle Wells Grant said...

Scratch some eyes out, sistah!

Jocelyn said...

In my mind, I've retitled this "When Pussy Gets Mad."

mo.stoneskin said...

Is this your way of saying that you'd like some icecream? Just say the word and I'll send you some AND some for your cat.