October 15, 2010

F U B P

My peeps, I screwed up. In a hurry to get to where I eventually did not even get close to (so, so sorry I missed you, Nanner! I was ready for those Buttery Nipple shots!), I swung into the BP station and did the unthinkable. Something absent-minded and assinine.

Totally. Screwed. Up.

My big campaign to boycott BP dissipated in the fumes I filled up my tank with. Ugh. I realized I screwed up while waiting at the pump for my receipt. I know. Completely filled myself up with disgust. Talk about feeling dirty. Should have sent myself through the car wash. So much for personal activism.

But I do have good intentions, y'all. I sleep this stuff. No, really. I do. Need proof? Here ya go. One of the lovely things to come out of my recent trips to New Orleans and Bourbon Street was this baby:

Had to have it, dontcha know, especially after the crazy fun I had in the piano bar. (Dude, I can't believe I had to actually sing YOU that song request! Brazen pianists all over the country, or on 6th Street, know that classic!)

Anyway, this keepsake is now a lovely sleepshirt that I hold near and dear to my heart and other stuff. It makes me happy to wear it. Too revealing to model though. Sorry. If I had me some 501 button-flies (raise your hand if you miss those, the best, sexiest jeans in the world) I might consider it. Only magical things happen when you're wearing 501s. Trust me on that.

So to make up for filling my tank with BP gas, I'm now giving back with a public photo of this dee-lightfully fun t-shirt. Hey, it's the least I can do so people never forget the heinous damage BP did.

F. U. B. P.

And, she's back! Who's going to the Rally to Restore Sanity, eh?

As an aside, I haven't eaten at Wendy's in five years. They still buy chickens from disreputable breeders who raise hens inhumanely by piling too many in a battery-cage the size of a breadbox and make them spend their whole lives that way. What would that be like, I wonder? Your WHOLE LIFE in an itty bitty cage you can hardly turn around in, not to mention everybody sees you laying eggs. What's wrong with a little humanity, freedom, and right to privacy? That's American, Wendy's. Quit buying from those jerks. So there, I'm back to actively giving you guys the finger. FU, Wendy's. And from the chickens, Cluck You.

I'm a little cranky. Did you notice? I'm going to go put on my shirt.
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45 comments:

♥ Braja said...

Oh dear....so many little marine animals just turned in their graves....

What? I'm meant to make you FEEL GOOD?? Jeez...

Y'know, I hear the color aquamarine/turquoise helps with that. And if you only knew someone reliable in India, where that color proliferates....well....

I know I know, I owe ya, girl...and I never forget my promises.

Fragrant Liar said...

Braja, you know I love aquamarine, and I DO know someone lovely in India ... unless she's still in the States. Are ya anywhere near Florida, girl?

Kristina P. said...

We don't even have a BP here. Chickens don't have feelings, right?

TechnoBabe said...

I like the night shirt. You just flubbed up a little bit. Now you are back on track.

Linda in New Mexico said...

Oh no....I'm so out of the loop way out here in never nowhere land. We don't even have BP here but if we did, I'd be saying some sign language as I passed by them to go fill up elsewhere....the only problem is most stations are independently owned and well never mind. Hey now I get to say FU Wendy's. I'm on board with that bit as well.
You're a humorous bit of work every time.
Hey come see the kids and their story of spiders and such. XXOO The Olde Bagg

Christine Macdonald said...

You best be droppin' off those empty water bottles in that lovely tank now!

daisyfae said...

rant away... wish like hell i could meet you in DC for the rally! we could abduct Jon and do horrible things to him. i'd share. promise.

Jason, as himself said...

So how can we tell if a restaurant acquires its meat in inhumane ways? Or the grocery store for that matter?

My daughter just turned vegan.

Elly Lou said...

Word on the street is BP costumes are all the rage for Halloween. You're ahead of the game already! Meanwhile I've got my jumpsuit and bottle of Hershey's ready to rumble.

Irish Gumbo said...

Is your middle name Oscar? (heehee)

Go get 'em, Tigress! rawrrrr!

Eva Gallant said...

I love the shirt, and you have permission to be cranky sometimes!

Lori said...

You so crack me up...I like the shirt...we don't have BP around here...don't eat at Wendy's either...I like your crankiness. :)

Hope you have a good weekend. XX

slommler said...

I didn't know that about Wendy's. Ewwwww and gross!!!
Love the night shirt!!
Hugs
SueAnn

secret agent woman said...

I don't eat chicken (or beef) so Wendy's doesn't have much to offer me anyway. But I do buy only eggs from cage-free chickens.

Matty said...

Ok so what you're saying is, if I send you a pair of 501's, you'll post a picture of yourself wearing them with that shirt?

Stephanie Faris said...

I need to be more aware of where I fill up, actually. I usually fill up at the grocery store's pumps because they give a discount but when we're traveling, my hubby will usually just pull in wherever.

Brian Miller said...

you are heading back in the right direction...have fun at the rally...thanks for the clucks up on wendy's too...no more...no more...

sybil law said...

Oh holy hell I miss my 501s!!!

Snappy Di said...

I used to fill up at BP because there stations had cheaper gas than others. Since their *uck up with the spill, I've never set foot in one of their stations. Never will again, t-shirt or no t-shirt.

DI
P.S. Haven't eaten at a Wendy's in over 10 years.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

I wish I could boycott ALL the gas and oil companies. And in fact, we drive so little that it's almost like a boycott.

Madame DeFarge said...

Loving the t-shirt. Or vest top technically I suppose. Most dazzling.

Missy said...

Love the shirt! I don't do Wendy's either! I am in the mood to boycott everyone...

dana said...

There is too much wanton cruelty to animals. The USA is bad enough, especially since we're supposed to know better. In China, the same thing is done to dogs. Mouths taped shut so they don't "bother" people, stacked on top of each other, waiting to be chosen for someone's meal.

The more I learn about humans, the more I value animals.

Pat said...

You wear crabby nice!

Fred Miller said...

Stephen Colbert had a sea turtle drive an SUV over the president of BP. It made that "ding-ding" sound that old gas stations used to have when we were kids.

True Blue Texan said...

I'm going to the rally! Want to meet? See the designated meeting area chosen by me (so it no doubt will suck) posted on my blog.

nick said...

Shame on yoooooou. I guess if you'd tried syphoning the gas back out of your tank, well,.....love to have heard you try and explain that when the cops came a callin'.

Jeanne said...

My sisters are going to the rally--if you see them, say 'hi'!

The Only Girl said...

No need to beat yourself up about 1 slip. Just get back on the FUBP wagon! If we had BP up here, I would boycott it too. So when I'm in the USA later this week, I'll be sure not to pull into one of their stations. Thanks for making me think about that!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Love the shirt! And the chickens.

Gaston Studio said...

We all slip every once in a while, but it's good to get back on track. I personally boycott so many places now, it's getting harder and harder to shop just for groceries.

foxy said...

Absolutely love that shirt! Totally awesome. And I know what you mean about those 501 button-flies. ;)

And really about Wendys?? Where am I supposed to get my salads now? DAMMIT.

injaynesworld said...

I love that shirt! You cut loose in N.O.?! Would have loved to have been there doing shots at the piano bar with you.

Good for you on the Wendy's boycott. We have about 30 chickens here on the farm. They all have names and personalities and provide us with fresh eggs daily.

Beta Dad said...

Don't forget to boycott Tesoro and Valero while you're at it (I don't even know if they have those in FLA.) They're funding the drive to repeal CA's clean energy act. Eff them too.

rory said...

There's something that's sooooo efffed up about the whole Gulf thing.
I don't get it- we're being lied to.
And hey!, send me the tank, I'll model it!
FUBP.

meleah rebeccah said...

OMG, I totally LOVE that tank top and I MUST HAVE ONE! And hell yes I remember Levi's 501 button-fly Jeans. And hell YES I miss them terribly! They really WERE magical jeans!

mac said...

You, the 501s, and that shirt are giving me a great mental image :-)


FUBP !

otin said...

I think that all of the oil companies take short cuts and probably would have been in the same situation as bp. I don't think that any one oil company is worse than the others. bp was just the one that got caught.

jabblog said...

Yes, it's hard being 'correct' - so time-consuming - but I like your tee shirt and your reasons for not eating at 'Wendy's' (I presume that's something like McDonald's?)

Joanna Jenkins said...

LOVE that tee shirt. I wish they sold them here.

And don't worry about the fill-up, everyone falls off the wagon once in a while.

Cheers, jj

Candice said...

Too revealing? It's a tank top woman, not a g-string. ;)

only a movie said...

I love that shirt... and I'm all about not eating at fast food places. Cluck you is awesome.

david mcmahon said...

We don't have those shirts here!

Symdaddy said...

Long Live BP!

It wasn't their fault!

It was a set up!

They wuz framed!

Gropius said...

I did the same early on in the crisis. I was pumping fuel and looked up at the sign and thought "Holy crap! How did THIS happen?" Thanks to people like you (and me), BP turned a profit this quarter. On one hand, GREAT--they can keep dishing out payments to the dying Gulf. On the other, as long as we're filling up the tank, there's a problem. Will someone please transport us anywhere without cars? Looks like here in FL, we'll be waiting a looong time.