The fuckbuddies are out.
Oh yeah, they are landing at my feet, walking up my legs, tickling my neck and ears. There is no way to avoid them—believe me, I've tried. All I have to do is walk outside and they're all over me, like Sarah Palin at an "Obama is a Socialist Muslim Illegal Immigrant" rally.
I know! Right? He's totally not a socialist.
So yeah, Florida is full of fuckbuddies. They cruise around until they spy somebody unattached and then hook up and drag each other around in active coitus, like they were born to do just this one thing forever. For god's sake, get a room, fuckbuddies! It's not like there aren't a gazillion bushes you could sneak behind for a little privacy. I see you coming and I recoil in disgust. "My eyes! My eyes!"
I give you an inside look at this immodest Central Florida couple I encountered recently outside my house, Fanny and Fred. The bigass one is, of course, the female. Nature is cruel.
So lusty clutchers, I beg you! When you're done doing that . . . thing you're doing . . . STOP! Honestly, you're so needy and clingy and—I'm going out on a limb here—co-dependent. It's pathetic. Words of advice: relax and let go!
What. You thought I was talking about dating? Not even!
Although . . .
Nah.
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We’re not going anywhere.
1 day ago
32 comments:
I figure there must be some people in Florida that fall into this category also. LOL
Snort.. too funny.
Ew! What ARE those?
Ha! Nature is cruel. Did I see one of those bugs holding a cigarette?
We always thought they were "Love Bugs". That's what my polite in-laws always called them, anyway. i enjoyed seeing them hit the windshield of the car... even that didn't seem to interfere with their fucking, though.
LOL! FB means something entirely different in this neck of the woods!
You are too funny! lol
And here I thought I was going to hear about your latest escapades...
Those creatures seriously need to go hear a Bristol Palin lecture on abstinence. I think she starts out saying, "I used to be a fuckbuddy, but now..."
Yeah, well...look what the state of Florida is shaped like. All danglin' out there like that. Bugs can't help it :)
I was going to save this until morning, but when I saw your first sentence in my Google Reader, I had to come to your site. This reminds me of those late night drives along the Gulf Coast during fuck-buddy season. I knew which truck stops had huge drums of soapy water and long-handled brushes to clean the windshield about every two hours. Brings back memories, Babe.
Bud of the Baskervilles
I thought that was mostly a springtime activity.
Oh, that's right. You're talking about Florida.
It's pretty sad when I'm envying the love life of a bug.
'nuff said.
I saw these same bugs doing the same thing in Georgia last week...I was facinated. I could tell which one was the because he just roled over and went to sleep.
Well, I always thought they were called Love Bugs. But, I like your name better.
Lucky little fuckers, aren't they?
LOL You crack me up! Thank you!
You had me going with this one!! Ha!! The nerve of them...out in public like that!!
Hugs
SueAnn
You have so many new pets in Florida, and how the heck do you know the bigass one is the female? Dang.
I'm still laughing at Rene's comment about the shape of Florida!
No use denying it, you're just jealous.
- Jazz
What are those things? I like what you call them, but what is their real name? Will you mail me some?
hehe...dont miss those from FL...at all...
If I come back as a bug, I hope it's that one.
That baby got back.
Hey, whats the Latin genus and species of them there fuckbuddies, Ms. Entomologist, you?
When I was a kid we called them lovebugs, which is a wee bit more discreet.
You are too much fun.
Here it's the Japanese beetles. At least they are a little prettier (shinier) to watch . . .
Darn it! Knew there was a reason I should have become an entomologist, instead of a chemist.
Somehow I knew you weren't talking about people. Yeah, these things have no morals, do they? LOL
I am so over them! :(
And here I was thinking they were native to Australia
Coffee spewingly hilarious. I'm a new fan!
Man alive...that must be some hot sex if they're willing to die for it!
D
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