November 19, 2010

A Stranger in My Shower

People, someone has been watching me while I take a shower. I didn't even know it at first, and then one day, I stopped with the shower karaoke long enough to see that I had a captive audience. I couldn't believe it. She was right there in front of me! While I was naked!

To be honest, I kind of like knowing she's there. Still, I wanted to expose her for the interloper she is, so I snapped a picture for you. See her?

Click to enlarge.
No, I haven't lost my marbles; there's a face in my shower marble! It's a chick with big Princess Leia Cinnabon hair!

At first, I heard Darth Vader sucking air in and out, and he said gravely, "Liar, she is your sister."

Then my profound thoughts were interrupted with Yoda's throaty falsetto: "Stupid you are."

But now I've accepted it.

I guess if you can't see her, it's because The Force is not strong with you. Or you have to be there. So I'll help you. I've sketched her in below.

Click to enlarge.
See her now? I think here she's saying, "Help me, Obi-Wan." Because obviously she'd rather not be preserved for eternity in the equivalent of shower-stall carbonite, listening to me croon "Party in the USA" with a can of Flirty Mango Skintimate as a microphone.

Nodding my head like yeah, moving my hips like yeah. Yeah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! It's a party in the USA!

Okay, if you can't see her now, you have a black hole of imagination. I'm telling you, it's Princess Leia, and she showers with me. Every. Single. Time.

Or wait. Could it be? Jesus? Nah.
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44 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

Lucky you! At my age, no one wants to shower with me!

slommler said...

I think I would rather shower with Jhonny Depp or George Clooney!!! You can have the Princess!! Ha!
By the way...I have faces in my shower too but I couldn't tell you who they are!! They have no names as of yet!
Hugs
SueAnn

daisyfae said...

Princess Leia is your Doo-wop girl? Sweeeeeet!

creative kerfuffle said...

oh.my god. i totally saw her before the sketch! when i was growing up don quixote on his horse, w/ a lance and george washington lived in my paternal grandparents' bath tub. i can still see it to this day! i tried showing them to different family members and they all thought i was wacko!

Charlotte Ann said...

lol....you are my daily dose of laughter, along with Pearl.

haphazardlife said...

I can't imagine how anyone could NOT see her. She just jumps out at you. But then I see faces everywhere all the time.

Gaston Studio said...

Oh I definitely see her Liar, but a Gibson Girl she is, not Leah. Obi Wan this told me.

trash talk said...

I don't know...I think Kate Hepburn jumped off the wall at Sardi's and onto your shower wall. You sure she isn't saying "the calla lilies are in bloom again"?
Debbie

Linda in New Mexico said...

I see nothing, I know nothing and nobody is gonna make me talk. Just jokin'. Hey she is quite remarkably there. We have a "who's it" caught in end of our oak entertainment center. He speaks to my grandson...tells him to do naughty things...at least that's Ry's story and he's sticking to it. The Olde Bagg

Hilary said...

Oh yes, I saw her right away. How long did it take you to notice her?

Everyday Goddess said...

Just don't visit her hair stylist. That doughnut do is very wrong. Even for a Jedi's girlfriend.

Out on the prairie said...

Now you will have me looking in mine, but I think they must have gotten in and out years before me.You aren't singing songs like, "I found Jesus in the frosting of my cupcake" I hope. LOL

Out on the prairie said...

Now you will have me looking in mine, but I think they must have gotten in and out years before me.You aren't singing songs like, "I found Jesus in the frosting of my cupcake" I hope. LOL

foxy said...

You're totally showering with a chick. I expect you to have another date in exactly 6 days. Guys love that stuff! ;)

Kristina P. said...

Are you sure that's not The Hoff?

Karyn Bernard (French Charming) said...

Bwahahaha! Before I saw your sketch, I thought I saw a woman with big ta-ta's and a round belly...thank you for clarifying that for me.

Oh well, a girl can never have to many friends!

xoxo
Karyn

Gaelyn said...

Scared me half to death. At first I saw a Huge, ugly, skull-like monster. Thank goodness it's only the Princess. Well, didn't you say you were tired of showering alone. ;)

The Girl Next Door said...

I was totally thinking Lauren Becall - "You know how to whistle don't you - just put your lips together and blow."

Showering with a girl or showering alone? Hmmm I think I'll take the Alone 1/2 of that (even if the other would get me more dates)

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

In the first picture, I actually saw a cute puppy. But, the other picture is a bit alarming. Hey, this is your opportunity to make some money. Call the newspaper and have them do a segment and then folks will come just to touch your wall and then, they will remove it for the fame that it brings...then you'll have a new bathroom makeover for free!!!

De Campo said...

Some imaginary pepper spray should show that pervert.

Linda Medrano said...

I kind of like her. She has that royal attitude too I can tell. She only looks slightly disapproving so she must like you. That's how you can tell.

injaynesworld said...

Bummer that's it's not the face of Jesus. You could have a line around the block paying you good money to have their picture taken in your shower.

Maybe you could say she was Mother Theresa?

THE MIDLIFE GALS said...

You are so deliciously twisted, but I must tell you, if no one already has, your sketch is so out of left field. Have you spoken with a professional about what you think you see in the shower marble? The Midlife Gals know a good psychiatrist whenever you're ready.

Love,
KK and Sal

Lori said...

I noticed it right away...lol...thank you for this afternoon laugh...I started giggling and my little girl heard me so came up and looked at the computer screen and then back at me again and shook her head in this, "Your crazy" sort of way.

Happy weekend!

drollgirl said...

well you are getting more action in the shower than i am! lol

JeffHolton said...

You've brought back a memory of what a weird child I was.

In the 1980s, I could swear Richard Nixon was in the "asbestos snow" on my ceiling.

Casey Freeland said...

She seems sad. Maybe she's lonely and you should talk to her. Maybe the mildew is giving her a lung condition. Maybe she'd like more men in the shower.

Help her!

Cheers,

Casey

flutter said...

See, i totally saw an alien head. Maybe it was the probing...

Busy Bee Suz said...

I totally see her.
Perv.
I had Jesus in my toilet room for 12 years.
When we took out the wallpaper, he left too. Thank goodness...he saw some bad stuff.

mac said...

Why can't I get a woman on my shower wall?

Fred Miller said...

Because I love you and hope you enjoy this, I don't what you to see the pair of man-boobs I saw at first. But even if you do, it's okay. Just imagine it's Val Kilmer.

Bella said...

Fragrant,

I must say in the top picture I saw something totally different, a chimpanzee face?

but my eyes could be deceiving me! LOL

TechnoBabe said...

She is not a stranger really. You are right, she watches you, and she is pretty cool or warm or whatever temp your shower is, but I like her.

Cindy said...

That's hilarious! Could you just put some duct tape across her eyes?
SO, there you are in Ocala! Well, my husband continues to look at houses (on line) in Ocala weekly. He wants one w/ a pool...they're a dime a dozen. (that's what I tell him)....but, my lovely Nebraska w/ the wonderful 4 seasons! Today the High today was in the low 40's....Ocala...70's. ah, so tempting!

meleah rebeccah said...

OMG! HA! It really does look like Princess Leia is in your shower!

Jabacue said...

Hey! You are right. Better than showering alone!
Jim

Eddie Bluelights said...

I had a quick look at my tiles and alas no-one is watching me shower LOL

Looking at your picture I don't think she was looking because I think her eyes were closed.

Udder Hysteria said...

I totally saw Mr Limpett... with a turban on his head... before I scrolled down to see your Leia. Hmmm... weird. Do you see what I mean?

Frank Baron said...

Not that there's anything wrong with that....

And I spotted her from the get-go but no doot (I'm Canadian) your mention of the loopy hair made it easier.

Jason, as himself said...

Well I can think of a lot worse people than Princess Lea! Like, say, maybe, George W. Bush? Now that would be creepy.

Or what about Janet Reno?

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

She should be payin' you for the show, lady. Payin' You...

Fay's Too said...

You have a lovely warp to ye, girl! I often shower with Eric Clapton, but really! Princess Leia?

Beverly said...

thought the bun was one of her boobies....

Nick said...

It wasn't me - my binoculars aren't that powerful