January 18, 2010

Wherein I Am Dissed Bigtime

Must I be expected to remember everything that happens to me? People, if I can't rely on my children to fill in the blanks when I occasionally forget the minutia of an event, who can I rely on?

The following is an email I received from my daughter, TG, in response to my extraordinarily reasonable request for a memory filler so I could make a Wee Wisdom post about Miss America's reaction to seeing me greet my date at the front door. Certainly, when you've read it, you'll understand why I am utterly appalled!

TG: "Geez, Mom, this is your story. You're killin' me here. (I might have already been told this story a coupla times.) It went like this:
  • Miss America ran up to say hello.
  • You gave your date a hug and kiss.
  • Miss America hung back to wait until y'all were done.
  • She said hello.
  • She came to me and said y'all were kissin'.
  • I asked, if she asked, if y'all were gonna get married, cuz that is the rule. You kiss a boy, you marry that boy.
  • She said, 'No, I didn't want to interrupt their lovin'.'
  • We all laugh.
  • Mom writes a ridiculously over-complicated version of the story for her blog."
Ridiculous? Over-complicated? Hmph! People, my daughter doesn't know me AT ALL!

Next time, TG, see if I fix your punctuation!

43 comments:

injaynesworld said...

You're not alone. I suffer from can't-remember-shit-syndrome, too.

One day your kids won't be able to remember shit either and then it will be pay-back time from their own kids.

Now you just need to stay alive long enough to see it so you can gloat, if you remember how. ;)

TechnoBabe said...

So when is the wedding? Hah!!

Breathe said...

Well, I'm glad someone wrote today... ON A BLOG - hello? Where is your chapter, missy!? (People, give me a hand here. FL needs the pressure)

Kristina P. said...

Verbose is often better!

Eva Gallant said...

I hate remembering stupid things and forgetting the things I'd like to remember! It sucks!

Brian Miller said...

haha. love the perspective....

DebraLSchubert said...

So, are you getting married? I mean, if you kiss you have to get married, right? If that were the case I'd be married to Harry from kindergarten. Harry, wherever you are, you lucked out big time!

Secretia said...

Kids think the parents shared every experience that they did the same way, with the same feelings, like when you all see a movie together, but remember different things about it.

Beth said...

I love Miss America! She is hilarious!

daisyfae said...

yeah, if mine spout off a few wisecracks, they now say "you're gonna blog this, aren't you?". irritating little bastards.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Kissing = marriage? Girl, you are in trouble! You may not want to even show any displays of public affection around the kiddos.

Snappy Di said...

Well,..... so..... was she right? Are you getting married?

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal
(all that kissin' must have you pregnant by now)

otin said...

Over complicated? You? Never lol

midlifeslices said...

I have to make notes or I'll never remember who said what so I can repeat the entire scenario to share with only my closest friends. All my bloggy readers......all 6 of them.

diane said...

Your comment on Mo's page cracked me up, so I came over to see how you're doing.
Your daughter sounds a lot like one of mine. Sometimes when I'm around her I just get quiet. It's easier.

Jason, as himself said...

That was very concise. Well done.

Now...what will your post be like if she ever catches you doing something much heavier than kissing?

flutter said...

you are funny!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I bring the little notepad and pen with me everywhere I go - but often forget to use it...

Herding Cats said...

Haha that's very funny.

powdergirl said...

Thats outrageously impudent. That girl needs to have her keyboard washed out with soap!

Or: "its never to late to taser your kid."


My 14 year old today, as I searched for one of my 3 sets of missing truck keys, "If you put them in the same place every time, you'd always know where they were."

Yeah.

The kid currently look as though his mother suffers from Munchhausen by Proxy Syndrom. "put them in the same place every time."
Indeed!

Gillian said...

Even if you're perfect. you'll still get the rolling eyes from your teenager.

Alix said...

It begins with pregnancy you know... the memory loss. I think it's God's way of sparing us pain as our spawn grow up to incorrectly recall our forgotten memories. And then we have dementia to look forward to. Oh joy.

Gaston Studio said...

Miss America is so funny.

Post It notes... use post it notes to remind you of everything but you've got to remember to WRITE something on the post it notes.

foxy said...

Freaking hilarious! Sounds like me and my mom... :)

Anna said...

I am by no means a Grade A parent, but during the five years I've been one I have learnt this: Never, EVER ask your child/children for their opinion unless you're prepared for an honest answer!!

Anna said...

I mean, during the five years that I've been a parent, not a Grade A one - that's not likely to ever happen.

The Urban Cowboy said...

That along with my VISION! Hey, I just found ya, and think you look really, well, huh, kool in your new years get up!

Vic said...

I LIKE your stories. :) And I think you only have to get married if you kiss with your mouth open.

Stepping said...

Dang....I'd hate to think I had to marry every guy I ever kissed. I kissed a lot of loser before Coach came along!
Just wait...daughter will be calling you one day to ask you to jog her memory and you will get your chance to diss her.

blognut said...

I suspect that my kids make shit up just so they can tell me I forgot it happened.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

That's why I do everything I can to discourage my family from reading 24. Who needs THEM chiming in?

: )

Midlife Mama said...

Okay, what were you saying?

haha

I, too, have CRS disease.

And that story? Was adorable. :)

Jen said...

I just make shit up now. It's harder to repeat the story but by then I've forgotten all of it anyway.

It's called Creative License.

Lorna said...

Kids! My memory starting to leak with every child born. After four, and heading into menopause, there's just not much left. So it's all their fault anyway!

Tgoette said...

Cool post! I think memory is overrated anyway. It never seems to live up to my creative interpretation of real events. Kids overlook all the subtle nuances and emotional drama so their input should be suspect at best.

Nancy said...

Well I like the story, anyway. Mama kissed her date, sounds good to me. When is the wedding planned?

sheila said...

I don't even remember what you just said. lol.

Yes, I think that's one of the reasons why women can reproduce. lol. Help with memory.

Michelle Wells Grant said...

Not to worry! I forgot my phone number once!

Oz Girl said...

You are most certainly not alone, not just in the I-can't-remember-shit department, but also in the my-kid's-a-smartass dept. Thank god I only have one son, but he LOVES to give me a hard time and sass me about everything, all the time!

So, how did the date go, and when are y'all gettin' hitched?! :-)

Pat said...

I can't remember A LOT about my childhood. I often ask my siblings (Thank GOD I have so many) about things growing up.

My husband is ALWAYS saying, "I suppose you're going to write this in your blog." My thought is, "Well, quite doing something stupid or to make me mad and I won't have to write about it!"

tattytiara said...

If that's the rule then polygamy had better have been legalized, or I'm in trouble!

carma said...

she is clearly not a blogger ;-) we can make anything complicated

Madame DeFarge said...

Has she no soul? Doesn't she understand the artistic impulse?