February 2, 2011

Alone and Naked with Yanni. Stop it.

I'm beginning to think that not only am I predisposed to wanderlust, but my brain likes to loiter in the places I've been and so takes its sweet time catching up. What I mean is, my feet are on the ground here in Austin, but my head is still flighty. And I have to figure out what's next, which I would totally do if I could just land the plane.

Fortunately, I'm in a good place. Which brings me to the meat of my post. I'm no longer Alone and Naked with Yanni.

There, I said it. You pervy people who keep coming here looking for that? That ship has sailed. You normal people who keep up with me, you know that my running-around-the-house-naked love affair with Yanni happened last summer; and quite sadly I've now entered into territory where Yanni is the equivalent of Lord Voldemort, or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. And really, what self-respecting rabid fan would subject her musical sex-symbol-of-yesteryear to the anathema of Generations X and Next? No, not me. The young'uns can have their beat boys and that Fitty Cent guy.

The aforementioned post was one in which I lamented that living alone is not remotely part of my true calling. Now that I'm living temporarily with my daughter and two nanaboys, I'm reminded of the axiom, "Be careful what you wish for," cuz these days I'm never EVER alone. That is, unless I go into the bathroom and lock the door, and even then the family Boxer feels the need to accompany me. And may I point out that the walls are so thin in apartments, I'm not sure I'm ever really alone. You hear what I'm saying? I can't croon in the shower for fear my vocals will end up on WikiLeaks. Damn you, Julian Assange!

Plus, and this is the most egregious news of all, my pastime of running around gloriously naked has been severely, um, destroyed. I know. The tragedy that befalls my life is never-ending. I'm now subject to wearing clothes ALL THE TIME, not to mention humming "The Flower Duet" in private to myself. Yeesh, one's children can be so cruel.

But back to last summer's most-highly-sought-after post, Alone and Naked with Yanni. I've gotten thousands of hits from this one post and only 57 measly comments. Pervy people, if you stop in to see me (or me naked with Yanni), please leave a nice note. That just shows you have manners.

The next closest post, I Didn't Shave My Legs for Sex, has less than a quarter of the hits. That tells my scientifically analytical mind that Naked trumps Sex. Or that Yanni trumps Sex. No, no, Yanni IS Sex—figuratively speaking. But never Alone and Naked trumps Yanni, which is obviously blaspheme and cause for a trip to Confession.

Anyway, I've moved on, you obsessed lovers of Alone and Naked with Yanni. So stop it.

UPDATE: Twice as many hits today on "Alone and Naked with Yanni" as this post here with essentially same title. C.R.A.Z.Y.
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50 comments:

Out on the prairie said...

I live alone so when I do have company my life is stifled.I have to shut the bathroom door, and what I wear may be how I feel. Somedays jammies rule until noon.Apartment life can be tough, I rented one for 3 months when I last went overseas.In my house you could scream for hours and nobody would hear you. In my apartment the lady above felt all should hear her music in the mornings, and even some of the pleasures she partook in.Austin sounds nice enough to put up with it for a bit.

Eva Gallant said...

You're right, naked trumps everything. I did a post about Naked Rugby a long time ago, and it's still getting hits, months later!

Jeanne said...

I did a post months ago called "The Naked Man." The only thing that gets more hits is "Peanut Butter Fudge Recipe."

It's a a pudgy, horny world we live in.

Missy said...

I haven't been alone or naked in so long... I miss both!

blueviolet said...

Aw heck....grandkids trump naked any old day!

Irish Gumbo said...

Hey, you get points for even knowing who Mr. Cent is!

and this reminds me, I really need to get some curtains for my kitchen windows...

mac said...

It is just more relaxing to be naked.
In fact, I don't have any clothes on right now.
Sorry, no Yanni though ;-)

ellen abbott said...

Yanni is sex? In what universe? the hair is nice but the 'stash? Way too much. I like a nice mustache but if it looks like the Fuller Brush Man stopped by? ummm, pass. I haven't done a naked post yet but it's coming up after I get through D, E, F, G, H, I J, K, L, and M.

beth said...

The words Yanni and Naked should never be in the same sentence together! Ick.

Heidi-"Heidi in Real Life" said...

I forgot all about Yanni. He's the CD I used to play in the car that controlled Detroit traffic road rage. Is he still with Linda Evans? If not, I'll fight you for him! ;-)

meleah rebeccah said...

I really MISS being alone & naked.... But, living with family is priceless!

Glad to hear your settling into Austin.

Linda Medrano said...

Much as I love visitors, family, etc., there is something to be said for being alone. Whether I'm doing the dirty boogie with Bono, or enjoying a moonlit candlelight cocktail with Rod Stewart while he sings "Maggie May" to me, being around people stops these encounters. Ugh! I adore Yannie too, but okay, he's yours. Just don't go tossing that long pretty Texas hair at Bono and we'll all be fine!

I used to get emails when you posted. I haven't gotten one in a spell. I need to make sure I checked that box!

That Janie Girl said...

Girl, I'm glad you're back in Texas, nekkid or not.

Audubon Ron said...

Never been alone and naked with Yanni. I've been alone and naked and usually outside.

slommler said...

Ha! You are so right. A bunch of pervs for sure!! I don't know whether to say "I am sorry" or "good for you"?? Do you wish to maintain your nakedness or are you becoming accustomed to clothing now? And where the hell is Yanni anyway?? In your bathroom? For shame!!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Lori said...

LOL You crack me up! Enjoy those grandson of yours...I am pretty sure they are enjoying having you around...I still miss being able to run around naked and the alone time thing but then I remind myself to be careful of what I wish for. :)

Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches said...

So now you are just making me want to read them all over again!... I am totally with you on the naked thing - I have family staying at the mo and being a nice girl I have given up my bedroom and am sleeping in the lounge. BUT I normally sleep naked and did I mention that I sleepwalk?? Two nights so far I have found that I have stripped off in the night and wandered around... I just hope that the sleeping beauties upstairs stay asleep!!

Jayne said...

The Flower Duet is best in the shower, when waterlogged naked, but not alone. ;)

daisyfae said...

the post where i violated my old girl scout uniform (ie: "dirty girl scout") gets a lot of hits. what would Yanni say?

foxy said...

Glad you're safe and sound at home!! But I do feel for you on the "no nakedness" thing. That would really bug me too. Something tells me that my days are numbered in that arena too though. Once i have a little boy running around, that will be harder and harder to do.

The Empress said...

Funny how it's "THAT STUFF" that'll keep coming back..

MiMi said...

See, it's weird because if I want to ASSURE myself of company, all I need to do is go to the crapper. Then they ALL want something and will be damned if I don't get the message even whilst peeing.

Candice said...

My 7 yr old son barged in my room and accidently saw my pregnant ass naked the other day. He promptly ran out of the room screaming "MY EYES! MY EYES!"

Serves his ass right. I bet he knocks from now on.

Pastor Sharon said...

Well, it's good to hear from you! I can't imagine or visualize myself alone and naked with Yanni. He's probably really fuzzy all over and that just is WAY TOO MUCH!

Besides, I'm a pastor, I don't visualize being naked with men. But, if I did, it would be someone like LL Cool Jay or Vin Deisel. . . just sayin'

Good to hear from you. Any suggestions on a naked post over at my blog? I guess I could always do one on Adam and Eve?

Smiles and hugs to you, my friend!

injaynesworld said...

Glad to hear the horrendous move is over and you're safety ensconced with family, however inhibiting.

I used to play Yanni's music a lot, but it never made me want to get naked. Now Eric Clapton's "Layla" -- the electric version -- oh, yea. I could run down the middle of the freeway naked listening to that one.

And even though I live alone, I would never run around naked. I have to curtains or drapes on any of my windows and I'd be afraid of traumatizing the farm animals.

secret agent woman said...

I have my kids with me half-time, so it's a 50% naked world for me. I still sleep naked every night, though, since they are well past the age of crawling into my bed after a bad dream.

Mrsblogalot said...

At this stage I'll only get naked for cash.

Not a lot mind you...I am getting up there. It's not just this economy that's suffered (-:

Margaret (Nanny Goats) said...

I'll never understand what makes people click over to my blog when they're searching for perverted things - they must have a lot of time on their hands. Not to mention, lotion.

Ba-DUMP-BUMP! (I'm here all week).

Brian Miller said...

you know it is yanni that keeps coming back to read it...

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

My highest-hit post is "They're Not Hooker Shoes...". People are a bunch of pervs. Oh well. Whatever keeps 'em coming...back to me. Good luck with your new gigs, whatever they may be - Stubbles. ;)

Anonymous said...

Hello,
I'm Yanni and I just wanted to express my appreciation for your interest.

I'm living alone in Juneau Alaska in the guise a bald fat old man.

You are welcome to visit me any time.
Love,
-Y

Julie said...

57 comments and you're complaining? LOL Dude, I don't think I've ever had that many comments and I have 500 followers and get an average of 2,600 hits a month on my blog. Last month my highest comment day was 22.

It's really dropped off. A year ago I had 6,000 hits a month...if everyone would just leave a smart ass comment I'd pretty frickin popular. :)

Ann Imig said...

Welcome to Austin! You can be together and clothed with Raffi!

??

Fred Miller said...

I'm making a video for my "CAT: Pussy Power" logo. I figure it will get plenty of hits on YouTube and on my site, too. But I'm afraid Caterpillar Corp. will get a little pissed off. I don't know. Guess I just gotta get it out there and see. By the way, it will feature me playing "Cat Scratch Fever" on my kid's guitar.

Mandy's Kidding said...

"Yoga Pussy and World Peas" got my highest ratings.

Sex sells.

powdergirl said...

I had something very clever to say, then I read about "yoga pussy and world peas"... and I just...forgot : (

Pearl said...

The fun part about "naked" is that anything can happen.

Naked wins every time.

Pearl

darsden said...

I Heart Naked!

Sandra said...

I'm laughing! Yanni??? Really?...well, I can't judge. I'm sort of carrying a torch of Steven Tyler.
And I'm jealous of your daughter! I want to move back in with my mommy! I asked her tonight, just because I figured she'd make my lunch every day, but she told me 'no, make your own lunch." You are a good mommy!

Casey Freeland said...

Well, since I've had children in my home since I was 20 and I'm now 42 I haven't had the naked opportunities I wold prefer. But when we kick my youngest out in 9 years I'm going to be the nakedest 50-something ever.

Cheers,

Casey

Madame DeFarge said...

I still don't get the whole Yanni thing, but at least it means we won;t fight over the same man.

Scott said...

This is my first visit to your site, and I must say you write some delightfully funny material! And, looking back, at the notorious post, I see you live in Florida--so greetings to a fellow Floridian!

Though I have no children, I am also single--and I'm alone and naked with a different woman every day! Today's was Greer Garson--I saw her in a 1940's film on TCM, and that did it!

Don said...

42 smart remarks - made me want to make it 43. Yanni withstanding.

♥ Braja said...

Hey Kimber girl....Susan over at Stop Calling Me That wants to make a meet....I'm thinkin' we need to consider it....let's talk....

Lisa said...

What brings people to our blogs is a neverending source of wonderment. Who knew so many people would want to see photos of a weather lady's nipples?

BTW, I bow to your emotional flexibility. I've gotten so stingy about my alone time. Oh, and I saw a commercial with Yanni a day or two ago and thought of you. You are now forever entwined in my head.

Kelley said...

First of all, how is this my first time to your blog? AND how is it that I am not following you?? I will change al lof that soon! This post was hilarious about YAWNi, I mean, Yanni. :)

On another note, do you mind stopping back over to my blog to vote for your favorite Captcha Balderdash definition later today? I don't feel like I can truly calculate the votes until I hear from you! I will understand if you are not able to, but I thought I'd ask. Thank you! :)

kmcaffee said...

New follower. You had me at Yanni....

Kelley said...

I just wanted to let you know that you were one of the two winners of Captcha Balderdash this week! Your picture & some info about you is on my blog today. I thought you'd like to know. :)

nick said...

Could have been worse... you could have wanted to be alone and naked with Ross the Intern.

Snappy Di said...

What? Yanni is gone? Who is it now, Mel Torme?

Di