January 27, 2009

My New Most Embarrasing Moment

I've ruined my daughters. At least my oldest two. In my kitchen last night, candidly discussing sex (where they explained how it all works to me), TeeGee revealed what she had witnessed at roughly age eight. It's totally embarrassing but too funny not to tell my closest blogging buddies about. So just keep it between us, okay?

Twenty years ago, apparently my then-husband and I were not content to mess around in our bedroom. The details are so vague that I didn't remember this. However, my daughter, even at 30, still remembers -- a memory so vivid that she will undoubtedly grimace and squirm for the rest of her life over it.

Laying in the dark of her room one night while her younger sisters slept, TeeGee heard some racket in the hallway. It was then that she saw her stepfather lugging something over his shoulder -- me -- as he hurried down the hallway, both of us completely naked.

TeeGee's recollection stunned me, as I had no idea she had ever seen me in any kind of compromising position ever. EVER!

All I could do was cover my mortified face in my hands. "Are you serious?" I bellowed, peeking through my fingers. "You saw us? Naked?"

"Mom, I have one word for you. Floppy."

I busted out laughing at the same time I wished for a deep, dark hole to squeeze myself into and zip shut.

"And I heard weird noises from the living room, Mom. I was scared and I couldn't go to sleep."

Oh. My. God. It all came back to me then. I remembered that night. Actually, quite fondly . . .

TeeGee rolled her eyes in revulsion. That's when my other daughter, Scoots, said to me, "That's nothing. One time, I saw you . . ."

Ah, but that is a sordid story for another day.

.

25 comments:

Tricia said...

How funny!! It reminds me of the time I walked in on my parents...it does still make me squirm a bit to think about it.

Jan said...

Oh, been there, done that...several times, in fact.
In fact, one day recently I announced I was going to take a shower and Beloved told me, "Hang on a minute and I'll join you." The Young One then proceeded to yell, "Oh, no - SHOWER SEX!!! EEEEWWWWWWWW!"

And here I thought we were being quiet all this time.

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Heh Heh Heh..... she gotcha! This is hilarious...floppy? lmao.....

Di

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

I just told my story Sunday night. My ex husband and I were house sitting for my parents and were looking for their porn stash : ) and stumbled across their very own movie of the two of them. Ughhh My eyes are still burning!

Mary Moore said...

Yeah, it's not good, is it. Both my kids have seen us in compromising positions...and I'm hoping they were just sleepwalking.

lisa said...

Too funny and those family stories will be passed on for generations----lucky you! :)

midlife slices said...

Oh dear, I do NOT want to know if my children have "seen" anything. I will promptly stick my fingers in my ears and start chanting...lalalalalal.......until their lips stop moving. That's just too funny about you, though. LOL

TrodoMcCracken said...

My parents have six kids and it was common knowledge one of us six would have to bite the bullet, take one for the team and walk in on my parents.

Luckily for us, it was my youngest brother who walked in on it. Unfortunately for him, he learned how to knock before entering the hard way.

Vic said...

AAAAAAAAh!

Irish Gumbo said...

*snort* So that's what the Talking Heads were singing about in "Making Flippy Floppy"! Of course! Your secret is safe with me, I won't tell a soul. :)

FL: Did you change your profile pic recently? Something looks different. Or maybe I just didn't notice until now. Either way, rawr!. Got it goin' on, as the kids say...

daisyfae said...

my 20 year old son came home somewhat unexpectedly sunday night to helpfully take out the trash (my knee is broken and he was being a good boy). From his vantage point as he walked in? Naked Irishman (my current partner) on the sofa, with Mom in her jammies - legs draped across his lap while we both drank beer... i screamed "HE'S WEARING BOXERS!" but it was too late...

Family. The original definition of "Mutually Assured Destruction".

smiles4u said...

Oh how funny! Isn't it great when our children realize that we are human and that we just might even like sex? They are thinking ewww because most people don't want to think that their parents have sex...let alone catch them in the act....lol! Thanks for the laugh!

Janie said...

Oh, God...that's too funny!

Julie said...

Ahahahahahaha....I'm pretty sure my son never saw me in that situation...and now I'm just praying I don't see HIM in it!

nothingfancy1 said...

Floppy? LOL LOL LOL

And I agree with MLS...I would NOT want to find out that my children saw or heard ANYTHING. EVER!

Andi said...

Gawd! I'm just glad I was too young to remember the time I "interrupted". At least they were in their bedroom, according to my mother.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Still can remember as clear as day the "sounds" my mom was making when I, at 11 yrs old, wondered down to their bedroom to tell them I didn't feel good. No amount of AMBIEN makes me forget!!

Btw, LOVE your suggestion about the camo balls!!

Hallie

Debbie said...

Busted! And I love the "floppy" comment.

Ann's Rants said...

Wow! I'm tres impressed, and yet and yet...a moment of reflection for my still alive yet not nearly running-down-the-hallway-naked married sex life. Sigh.

Fragrant Liar said...

Ah, if only this weren't my only embarrassing moment in life. There's more, oh so much more...

nikkicrumpet said...

I hope "floppy" referred to him and not you LOL...I once walked in on my parents....it was over 30 years ago...and I still can't get the image out of my head!!!!

lisa said...

I following orders and let something for you. Take a look.

EmmaK said...

So funny! My daughter has also asked me about the wierd noises I make from the bedroom. From then on I wait until she's really asleep before making whoopee!

Trina said...

I don't think our daughters ever saw anything, but I SWEAR I think they stood outside the door listening. It never failed that just about the time everything was done, they'd come into the bedroom and want to crawl in bed with us.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

OMG! I would die a million deaths. And then laugh. If it's happened. I don't want to know.