When I'm without my cell phone, I am without one leg. I feel like I have to email everyone, "Hey, I don't have my phone. If you miss me or need to tell me something -- anything -- here's how." And so it goes with the alternative: text messages via email. Following is this afternoon's exchanges between me, my two daughters, Scoots and TG, and TG's husband George. I'm always amused at how fast things can disintegrate. Cuz we're family.
Me: If you guys need me, you’ll have to call me at the office. I keep forgetting the damn phone.
TG: We should get you a fanny pack.
Scoots: Doodle would think you are the coolest! (Eleven-y.o. Doodle is enamored with fanny packs and doesn't care about the cool factor or lack thereof. The boy just wants what he wants.)
TG: While we are at it, we may as well get you one of those medical alert watches too... In case you fall and can't get up (again).
Scoots: Wait! I need one of those too.
George: Yeah, but for a different reason . . .
Scoots (this pic looks exactly like her, but it's not): HAHAHAHA!!!
TG: Yes, and it lights up too. So she can see it in the dark. :)
Scoots: She will need digital!
TG: The watches are way fancier than the old medical necklaces... They were too clunky. She would never wear the necklace.
Scoots: I guess Mom does not want to play along with our antics.
Me: All right already. So, I take it I'm getting a medical alert bracelet for my birthday? BTW, I have a “drinks date” on Friday after work.
Scoots: YEAH!!! Hot or not?
Me: He’s older than me. How hot can he be?
TG: Definitely a fanny pack. PS, Mom, you don't "drink"....
Scoots: I have seen some hot old men.
Me: Where?
Scoots: TV
George: I am amazed how entertained you all can keep your selves. lol
Scoots: We are simple girls!
George: I think I will push this button now . . .
TG: Dang... I missed out on a lot. I don't even know where to start. First, MOM, that guy is cute, and seems very nice. If you're not interested don't go out with him! Scoots, thought you were SOOOOOOO busy... :) George, I know what you mean. Cleaning, and came back to 15 emails... Yay, I feel important again!!!
Me: I do want to go. You know what? That guy IS pretty hot. He’s in AWESOME shape. TG, did I show you his pics?
Scoots: I want to see!
George: I have one of him...
Me: Those sharpeis are symbolic of what we CAN’T see. Ew.
Me (along with pics of my upcoming Friday "date"): Cute, huh?
Scoots: And the bald head isn’t bad. That will be George soon. :)
George:
Crickets chirping . . .
Me: So, I'm getting the fanny pack then?
.
The Elusive Spirit of Christmas
1 day ago
26 comments:
OH MY GOODNESS!!! You put The Hoff's picture up. He is a total hottie. Your date will be awesome.
Hey get this.. I met him!!! Hoff I mean lol! Many years ago at a resort in Maui. In fact I took care of his youngest daughter at the "kids camp". It was so cool, hehe! He does have some sort of magnetism. I never thought I'd be star-struck by him.. but I was, ha,ha!
As far as the fanny pack.. yeah.. well then get some "mom jeans" too and you will be stylin'!!
he,he!!
so the dogs are symbolic of wrinkled and crinkled junk?
And me, I love forgetting my cell phone. It's like the good ol' days when you could have hours to yourself and no one could track you down.
So you got a lot of work done, huh? lmao
Old men cannot be hot? I will go cry now! LOL!
fanny pack and a shar pei.... it's a fine look for a friday date! go get 'em (RAWR!)...
I'm probably the only woman in America who can't stand Hasselhoff (not even sure that's the way to spell his name!) so if your drink date looks like him, can't be overly excited for you... not that my opinion should influence your decision in any way!
You are now going on my list of hilarious "reads". And you are my hero of the day. xo
The really nice thing about e-mail is that it can be used to keep in touch with family and stay abreast of the myriad important and "close to the heart" details of ones day to day existence.
That was most touching, LOL.
Having a date with the Hasselhoff should be plenty reason enough to start drinking.
Cheers.
Hasselhoff?
Draped in Sharpeis?
Who took that photo? Why?
I'll never ever be able to look at a Sharpei in the same way again.
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!! OMG, these disjointed convos you had were too much!
Why don't we get to see a pic of the Friday drinks date???
Justine :o )
A fanny pack and the Hoff in the same post! Are you trying to make me sick?
Loved the conversation...you all are nuts! AND I LOVE IT!
Hugs,
Karyn
I hope you're date surprised you with his hotness. Don't get me started on the statement that older men can't be hot.... grrrr....I'm married to an older very hot guy so I totally disagree.
Can you believe my son in law sent all those crazy pictures? Don't worry, buddies, I'm not letting him in the house anymore.
I didn't want to put up my date's photo, for privacy reasons. His. Y'all know I am like an open book!
Hysterical! And what a fun dialogue!
There are cool fanny packs these days. The ones runners wear. The one's I wear!!! :O)
Can I be in your family??
you are KILLING me!!!!!!!!! i love it!!! still laughing!!!!!!!!
ha! I think you need some handy dandy bullshit spray!
Yours Truly, 'Queen Bitchship' has plenty!
If your date (Hass) suggests going out for hamburgers, bring your digi-cam along.
Hey, Janie, I agree! Older men can be VERY sexy. I'm looking for my sexy guy right now! In the meantime, maybe you can share yours? No? ;-)
Geez, nothing like ganging up on Mom, huh? Nothing better to do with their time?
I'm sorry all of us commenters are totally obsessed with The Hoff, in the face of all the funny chatter you and yours did here. But I, too, was left gasping, "Hey, that's The Hoff!"
But not incidentally, you guys are hilarious, and I'm all for the fanny pack, but only if you wear it under your clothes so that you look like you have serious humps.
I'm thinking the fanny pack will definitely add to your image. Good luck with the date tonight. (Leave the fanny pack at home - and the cell phone. Don't need those kids calling you while taking to this guy.) Then, again - you might need that one call to get you out.
The charms of the Hoff are lost upon me. My ideal older man is Steve Martin. He's a real hottie.
I have come to the decision that the ONLY thing cooler than a fanny pack...is a medic-alert bracelet.
Especially if you get the blinged-out P. Diddy signature model.
Happy weekend...
:-D Anna
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