July 15, 2009

WTF Wednesday: A Dirty Little Secret?

In talking to one of my guy friends about dancing, he said he liked that the act of dancing was an erotic precursor to sex. Foreplay.

WTF?

Natch, I wanted to shout those words out loud and proud, but I was a good girl. Instead, I said, "That is completely wrong."

I have heard that gobbledy-gook from other guys over the years, and I just think, "You've seen too many lap dances." Sadly, I know many guys who won't "let" their women dance with other men because they think it's too suggestive or sexual and therefore like cheating. We women must carry this dirty little secret around on the down low apparently. Cuz we're sneaky like that?

Geez. Now, let me clarify, I'm not talking about a very close, slow dance between lovers (or potentials). We all know what can happen when you're up against Mr./Ms. Hottie. Intimate contact begets more intimate contact. No this is about all that other dancing . . .

. . . all that other dancing that the puritanical religious don't like. To them, dancing is sinful. It's like the pot to heroin argument, the certainty that there's a predictable and insidious progression from the benign stuff to hard core addiction; and from there, you can only burn in Hell. If that's true, I'll go down smilin'. You saw Footloose, right? Kevin Bacon proved in the movie this clear and single point:


Dancing is pure, simple, natural FUN.
It's a celebration of movement and therefore a celebration of being alive.


Plus, not even a suggestive hip grind and come-hither look will get you any action if you dance like Big Bird. But who cares? There's something so uplifting about letting loose to the sound of a catchy beat and not worrying about what you look like. It's a kind of full-body, senses-and-soul freedom that you can't experience any other way. Women understand this. That's why they can dance together without some subversive intention to have sex with each other. Wipe that pity party off your face, guys.

Not saying that a certain style of dancing can't be performed in a sexual and enticing way. Of course it can. But when I'm out on the dance floor kicking it up or gyrating, there's no imaginary pole out there with me. If there was, I'd expect to roll into my house at night with a waistband stuffed full of dollar bills. No, I'm out there dancing because it is BIG fun and a workout that does wonders for a body. It's rejuvenating and healthy and I just want to keep doing it all night long.

Good lord, I AM going to hell, cuz I am addicted to dancing. Damn you SYTYCD!!
.

33 comments:

Under the Influence said...

I LOVE to dance and will dance with anyone that comes in my path - husband, friend, guy, girl - it doesn't really matter. Actually, my favorite dance partner is my BFF when we are out at bars. I don't have to worry about her expecting any kind of "happy ending" to the dance!

My mom thinks it's weird however, that I like to dance with my BFF. Whenever we used to go dancing she would say, "who did you dance with?" and I would say my BFF. She would look all weird at me.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

It can go either way; it can be just dancing, but with a certian someone, can have layers of meaning.

My friends and I have a theory that most men who cannot dance also do not have a lot of rhythm someplace else also...

The Peach Tart said...

I LOVE to dance and like Under the Influence will dance with anybody that will dance with me. Like you, I feel it's great exercise and just plain fun.

However Mama did tell me that if can't dance you can't f*** so what Pseudonymous High School Teacher stated is probably correct.

Bella said...

I have not been out dancing in a few years now. This itty bitty redneck town closed down any decent clubs and one wouldn't dare venture to the redneck holes in the adjacent counties. Anyway, as far as dancing I'm like you, I did it for the fun of it and it is a great workout! It's even better when you have a dance partner with rhythm. If there were dance lesson studios available that's where I'd be! learning the Cha-Cha and the Rumba! Dirty dancing is fine with your honey, and can be quite erotic and invigorating as well!

Kristina P. said...

Men think that breastfeeing is an act of foreplay. They are ridiculous.

Oh, and not really moving to England, sadly.

Julie said...

OK am I dancing with my clothes on or off?

Because that totally makes a difference in my response.

darsden said...

Ha love the pot to heroin ...funny

It depends on the dancing..I think dancing is fun, great, natural... great exercise too...but unless I am already "doing" that person.. ain't no grinding involved so it's not sexual to me... only dirty dance with my "partner" needless to say I haven't danced in a very long time :-(

Karyn - (French Charming) said...

I love to dance and I'll dance with anybody until they cross the line. Don't be grinding on me telling me you want to bump fuzzies...that's just wrong! At least buy me a drink first!!

xoxo
Karyn

otin said...

No man really likes dancing! They may say they do, but they don't! Men will do anything to put themselves in a situation where they can touch or get close to women! If the human race was asexual, men and women would probably live on seperate continents! HAHA!

blognut said...

Depends who I'm dancing with - it could be foreplay, it could plain old platonic fun.

powdergirl said...

Oh. I thought everything was foreplay, just that you didn't always get to follow through. Silly me.

AirmanMom said...

fl...great post, great comments!!!!
~AM

creative kerfuffle said...

under the influence i love dancing and will dance all night and if it's w/ the hubs it's totally foreplay. but i also just like dancing for fun.

Michel said...

I totally adore dancing - but pretty much can only do it if I am drunk - and then I think I'm a REALLY GOOD dancer -- which (if you ask my hubby) is apparently, not true.

Still love it though!

Midlife Mama said...

*sigh* Men. They think EVERYTHING is sexual. They think brushing your teeth is sexual. "Oh yes, baby. Love the way that toothbrush goes in and out of your mouth. You want me; you know you do!"

*eye roll* Puleeze.

As far as the "dancing is sinful" argument. I feel that God wouldn't have given us a sense of rhythm and an enjoyment of music if He didn't want us to dance. 'Nuff said.

Alicia @ boylerpf said...

I love to dance for exactly the reason you say..it's a blast! Releases all the feel good endorphins & they aren't foreplay ones either! Alas, I'm not a man and I DO think with my real brain..LOL!

midlife slices said...

Well, since you asked...the "F" in my case stands for "Freaky". I've got rhythm, it's just that no one has told my body that yet.

daisyfae said...

doesnt have to be sexual, but it can be quite sensual... just connecting the right way with a dance partner - even one you've just met - picking up cues, following leads, even without direct physical contact, is quite fun and sexy! not going to lead to sex, though, so it ain't foreplay!

Comedy Goddess said...

Nobody puts Baby in a corner!!

I had what is known as disco knee. It's when your kneecap pops out of place. Gives me the willies just remembering.

Good thing my dancing partner was Jim Beam.

♥ Braja said...

Fun for most, Foreplay for the wicked. I mean, WWJD???
:))
xx
Ah crap I love that saying...

darsden said...

Braja ...WTF WWJD what would jimmy dean do.. well he'd make sausages is what he would do...

Jocelyn said...

I'm SOOOOOOOO with you and have realized how a part of me has gone parched since my regular dancing days have stopped (that'll teach me to have kids). Dancing lets me touch a whole different kind of freedome and joy. Amen, sista.

All that aside: why you such a hater on Big Bird's hustle?

Chairman Bill said...

Nah - it's a mating display.

Creepy said...

I loved dancing when I was young and hot... and it usually WAS foreplay...

Now my dancing is done mostly in the living room to kids music...

Graham has some fancy moves for a Deaf kid... his dancing will score him so much tail when he's older...

;)

Vegas Linda Lou said...

YES! I LOVE to dance! It's exercise that doesn't feel like exercise, and it often involves BEER! Hello... what could be more perfect?

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Dancing is good for the soul. That's all there is to it!

lovelyprism said...

Love the title! It would appear from the comments, that to most women it's just good fun and to most men it's foreplay. I suppose that's why Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

morethananelectrician said...

For us, conversaions about cheese is an "erotic precursor to sex...it doesn't matter.

Justine said...

Bravo woman! I don't dance... I'm so fat I could injure people, but still, there ain't nothing wrong with shaking what you've got!

Justine :o )

Fragrant Liar said...

I think the boys made my case -- they think EVERYTHING is a precursor to sex.

But I just wanna have fun!

Lisa said...

I cannot imagine life without dance. My mother made a big deal about telling us to marry a man who dances. The fact that our father doesn't dance has been a source of great frustration for her.

Michele Renee said...

(big sigh). I used to dance. Good Times, Good Times.

Pastor Sharon said...

Dancing is freeing yourself to be and have fun! I'm thinking guys who cannot dance without the thought of sex, as long as it's not a bump and grind dance need to get out more.

Dancing is good. And your analysis is fabulous! I'd love to give this to the puritans in my life, because like the guys, they wouldn't preach it if they didn't have a problem with lust!