August 11, 2009

My Fine Favorite

Boys. You knew I'd get around to that subject again, didn't you? Not little boys, BIG boys—with cars and jobs and attractive male equipment and the good sense to use them proficiently, or exactly as instructed.

One of the sites I'm on is Plenty of Fish (POF), but it really isn't any better than Match.com or Yahoo Personals, so as I'm looking at POF on Friday, just as I'm thinking, "this sucks, I'm done," I see his picture. Let me just say, "That boy is FINE!" I peruse his profile. Age appropriate, check! (I drank another gallon of Cougar-be-Gone, and I swear I'm in remission!) Height and weight proportionate, check! Spells and expresses himself with intelligence and grammatical efficiency, check! Looks FINE, check and double check!

So I "favorite" Mr. Fine. His profile link is magically transported to my Favorites folder where I can easily find him when—and IF—I return to POF. I have to actually get work done at work, people. I know, sucks. Serious dating perusal must wait.

Saturday, I go to the site and notice I have a few emails, which is not unusual. What is unusual is that I get an intriguing note from Mr. Fine. He has noticed I favorited him and wonders why didn't I take the next step and contact him. He says other stuff which you don't get to hear, but suffice to say, he captured my attention again. Since very few guys do—can I help it if I have standards?—I naturally respond in a witty and engaging manner—which of course he will fall for.

And he responds back. And I like what he says so I respond again. In fact, I start smiling when I get an email from him. I look forward to getting something, and if there's nothing, I have to slap myself and say go do something else. We message back and forth for a couple days, and I decide we have it: online chemistry. We shine on the compatibility scale. It's exciting. He gives really good email. In fact, I think I need a cigarette.

But you know what that means, right? The natural next step is: the telephone. (Otin, I hardly know the guy!) But I'm all nervous about it. I imagine regurgitating something totally whack or throwing out an F-bomb before I can gently break it to him that I cuss like a Ranger. My history proves that you can't suck that shit back in.

So why do you think it is that an experienced dater and flirt like me is suddenly all squiggly inside about a possible phone conversation? True, I'm a little out of practice, but I wonder, has so much talking via email stunted my extemporaneous social skillz? Have I lost the ability to think on my feet—er, on my arse with a cell in my hand? What if I burp?

Or is it that because I like this one, I have more to lose?

Maybe someone can pretend to be me on the phone so it's not actually me who says something stupid. Volunteers?

==================================
Dating tip of the week: Guys, a picture of you kneeling over a dead grizzly with his bloody, pitiful head between your hands is not sexy, 'kay? It's more along the lines of "Holy shit, that's disgusting!" Seriously. That is not a picture that will get you laid by anything other than a big, mad, daddy grizzly. May your ass rest in peace.
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34 comments:

Justine said...

Ooh, he does sound FINE from what little you've told us about him. So? how did the actual phone convo go? Or are you still waffling about them, ya little chicken shit?

Justine :o )

red.neck chic said...

Oh - I just found your blog and damn, I figure I'm going to loiter...LOLOL

How DID the phone convo go? I'm awaitin' your "rest of the story"...

creative kerfuffle said...

he sounds hot. i like it when someone can give good email. that's so sexy. we are going to get to hear about the phone convo right? right?
and that guy w/ the pic of himself over the bear? i bet there are girls out there who'd find that attractive. srsly, i think a girl i used to work w/ would (she has a camo bridal shower and they got bows/arrows as a wedding gift). believe it or not she's perfectly nice otherwise. lol

Chairman Bill said...

I know you're in the US and she's in Canada, but you should swap personas with http://killer-adventuresinsingledom.blogspot.com/2009/08/ahhhh-sanity-provides-welcome-relief-to.html

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

It used to scare the buh jee zuz out of me to move to the phone stage.... and to be honest... I did not like my current hubby's phone voice at all, so he's damn lucky I showed up for step #3... the meet in person phase!

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

The Peach Tart said...

Well honey he sounds mighty fine. Now that you've gotten us interested, tell us the next chapter.

powdergirl said...

Maybe just treat it like a public speaking engagement? You know, picture him naked on that first call.

Would that help?

Sounds like you're having fun with this!

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Girl, this sounds like fun!

And then, as I read your comments, i.e., kerfuffle's, "can give good e-mail", the Brad Paisley song "I'm So Much Better Online" started rolling through my head.

(Maybe I shouldn't have typed that!)

Keep me informed chica! Woohoo!!

The Bug said...

It's probably a little of both - but I am the person to lay it on the line right away because I don't want to waste my time with someone who can't take it.

Can't wait to hear what happens!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Oh, just call him. Don't think too much - or analyze. Have fun!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I was all ready to comment on the fine guy, when I read your end note about the guy with the bear head. Holy shit.

Danica said...

Have fun, call him and cover your mouth if you burp.

Pastor Sharon said...

Sounds to me like you may have found a guy that you want to get to know. Those butterflies. . . loss of words on the phone. . . Do you know how many people wish they could feel that way again?
Go with it!

Kristina P. said...

I still remember the first time I went from online chatting, to talking to my husband on the phone. TO be honest, it wasn't a great call. He was doing errands for work, so he wasn't completely attentive.

Good thing I met him anyway, 'cause the rest is history!

♪♥♫Tracy♪♥♫ said...

Oh I love the phone stage! I think that's the best. The skype (video) stage is the scariest lol!! Have fun and keep us posted!!

Stepping Thru said...

Your dating tip of the week made me spew my coffee! I like the "picture him naked" idea too. I'm sure whatever you do will be great. Good luck!

daisyfae said...

i hate the phone, and have skipped from e-mail to coffee shop... i sweat on the phone. hate my voice, can't see his facial expressions... e-mail is a sign of intellect/sense of fun and appropriateness. phone? opportunity for epicFAIL.

skip it... you're hot! even if you make a verbal misstep? he'll be in over his head!

Sarah Lulu said...

Haha ...I can't imagine how funny, smart and gorgeous you will be!

I hope he ...does as well.

Keep us posted.

Your love life is the only one I'm living right now.

Bella said...

Well, from somebody whose been there, I can tell you that more than likely it will be no different on the phone than the emails...as far as the conversation flow,

but the voice?

that's a whole other ballgame right there...that could only seal the deal, or totally turn you off!

I'll be anxious to see how it goes!

otin said...

Sometimes guys like the F bomb when they talk to a woman, it shows that they are real! Just talk to the guy like he is someone that you already know, if he does not like the way you are, then why try to hide it, it will come out eventually!

Fragrant Liar said...

No phone convo yet. We did exchange phone numbers. But we are really engaged in the writing stuff.

I think Daisyfae is right though! That's exactly how I feel about the phone right now. F-t-F is probably what I should do, instead of phone.

Do I sound like a teenager? Oh, gawd. I do.

Fragrant Liar said...

Otin, I'm going to blame it on you if I drop the F-bomb and he recoils in horror and exits stage left! I'll shout after him, "But Otin said you'd like it!"

:))

Fragrant Liar said...

Janie, his picture has GOT to be real! If it's not, I'll be pissed!

I have heard stories about that before. One of my office mates said she chatted with this guy for a while and when they finally met up, he was the Keebler Elf. She kept looking down at him. He totally misrep'd himself.

I really don't think Mr. Fine is that way... I hope.

smiles4u said...

LOL...you crack me up! I hope you share with us if and when you talk to this guy! I hope your having fun!

otin said...

I guess it depends on how you use the f bomb? LOL!

Kay said...

Oh, no, not socially retarded at all! It is the butterflies, the giggles, the anticipation built up--hopefully to be followed by more!!!! It's also vulnerablity and putting yourself out there...oh good luck! And remember, HAVE FUN! He would be stupid not to love ya! :)

Gaston Studio said...

I'll volunteer but I seriously think you should just be yourself; he's either going to like what he hears... or he's not.

diane said...

Give him your blog address. He's either going to run or love you. The phone will be a walk in the park compared to that. xo

De Campo said...

You should totally let out the burp.

That’s just one guy talking….

Rebel Mother said...

You have to speak to him. What if his voice is all squeaky? You cant date a guy who sounds like a mouse.

Go on you can do it - it might be the start of something lovely!

RMxx

lovelyprism said...

Call me, I'll pretend to be a man and then send you a detailed summary of your test scores ;-)

Michelle Grant said...

What's not to love? You're adorable, smart and funny! Go forth and effin' conquer!

Cougarbgone said...

Akoha Ms. Blogger,

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Vegas Linda Lou said...

OMG, you're so brave. The one and only time I tried online dating (years ago), the guy's opening line was, "I flossed my teeth for you."

NEXT!