August 29, 2009

Fraggin' It

It's been a hectic and somewhat stressful week, y'all. So all I have time for are Fragrant Fragments. To wit:

I am in the fertile vajayjay of Northern Texas this week, a little hotspot otherwise known as Grapevine, nestled between two thick thighs we call Dallas and Fort Worth. I'm working a conference here -- on call 24/7, I'm told by our outgoing diva, but you can bet I'll be taking time for myself here and there, including watching a little True Blood on HBO in my room. Hello, Vampire Bill, she says in that smoky, sultry way she has when alone to contemplate the merits of blood sucking sexual acts. Oh yes, there are merits. There must be. Sookie likes it.

Mr. Fine took me to see Star Trek on Thursday. I had been wanting to see it but thought its time had come and gone in theaters. Apparently everybody else thought so too, as we were the ONLY two peeps in the place. I was not disappointed. In the flick either. Heh, heh. Just kidding. But, really. Have you SEEN Captain James Tiberius Kirk in all his fiery, testosterone-filled youth? HAWT, people. HAWT.

The big surprise? Eric Bana as the evil-doing Nero. I can only ever see Senor Banadinovich as Hector in Troy. Hubba hubba. I don't like him as the over-tatted bad guy. In Star Trek, he of course is outsmarted in a very Kirkvirile-yet-Spockiavellian way. I must have this DVD when it comes out.

Okay, out the door I go to that big vajayjay to the north, which is really wine country stuck between cowpoke and shopping meccas -- none of which I'll get to enjoy, I'm sure.

Well, frag it.

40 comments:

darsden said...

I want to see a picture of Mr. Fine.. who's with me on this one...com'on girl at least the butt...LOL

Kristina P. said...

I don't even remember Eric Bana being in that movie!

otin said...

You have a great way of describing the cuntryside! LMAO!

bernthis said...

wow, you should work for their local tourist association or whatever they call it. I'm booking my ticket there right now

daisyfae said...

hoping you're not working a 'geek conference'. on call 24/7 means you'll be wiping noses and bandaging boo boos all week...
loved star trek. one of only 3 films i've seen in a theater this year!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I love True Blood. I netflixed it this summer and we watched the while first season in, like, one day.

Quite a picture you paint of the territory Fragrant ; -)

powdergirl said...

Otin,
R.
O.
F.
L.
!!!

I'm with the rest of this crew, I love the quaint and reverent manner in which you describe the region you will be visiting.
Tourism Texas would be fortunate to have you on board : )

Have fun fraggin' em in the va jay jay!

Justine said...

Sorry to hear that you're stuck in the twat of Texas, but do hope you have some fun downtime.

Justine :o )

phd in yogurtry said...

"nestled between two thick thighs"

LOL

and you know we like our thighs REAL thick, down here.

Gaston Studio said...

I will NEVER again think of Dallas/Ft.Worth without visualizing those thick, heavy thighs! OMG, I'm laughing so hard you can surely hear me in the va-jay-jay!

SweetPeaSurry said...

I was cracking up at this post. I lived in Arlington Tx for a short time in my life. The va-jay-jay or at least a labialial outcrop of such.

Enjoy the 'you' time that you get and blessings!

midlife slices said...

Hmm....if Dallas and Ft. Worth are the "thick thighs", I'm trying to figure out where I live. Oh yes.....we're the cellulite made lovely by the Spanx of the shopping mecca.

Pearl said...

You have changed how I see Texas.

:-)

I need to get out more!

Pearl

Jason, as himself said...

The big va jay jay to the north? Is this good va jay jay or bad va jay jay?

I liked Star Trek, too.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I've been to Grapevine and I think you do a disservice to va jay jays everywhere by the comparison. So did you have sex in the empty theatre? Your leaving out all the important details.

Pastor Sharon said...

Now you know, I have never heard someone use those sultry words of sexual conotation to describe the state of Texas!
And just to think I was between those thick thighs in July and didn't even know it! Oh my Gawd!

lisa said...

Well, you know, they do everything big in Texas - even thighs.

Love the Hubba, Hubba - haven't heard that in years. :)

Michel said...

was he a captain that young?? You'd think he'd start out as a desk hand or something like that. so implausible!

Glad to hear you're hitting the movies!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

"The va-jay-jay of northern Texas..." God help me, I never knew such a place existed. I learned something today.

Have fun, twisted sister!

Madame DeFarge said...

I loved Eric Bana in Star Trek, although it took me a while to work out that's who it was. Not sure about the guy who played Kirk though. Just too much testosterone for me.

Glad to hear things are going well with Mr. Fine.

And I've learnt way more about Texas than I should on a Sunday.

Nancy said...

Love your metaphors!

And I really like Eric Banna -

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Have fun, Miss Liar.

creative kerfuffle said...

love your description of grapevine! LOL and true blood? yum. however, i prefer eric. i think he's much hotter than bill. and against my better judgement (cos i don't like stupid boys) i find myself drawn to jason. but maybe it's just a physical thing. i also was pleasantly surprised by star trek. i am a capt. jean luc picard fan at heart, but this new kirk did not disappoint.

steppinthru said...

I'm just real proud to be from Oklahoma right now! LOL

Amy said...

Are you at the Gaylord Texan?! (And, for you non-Texans...no...we're not talkin' dirty.)

I'm jealous that you're getting to nestle between those thick, moist thighs. Really, I am.

♥ Braja said...

I didn't understand a word and I love it. Frag everything. And Dallas has a v----a? :)))

Pastor Sharon said...

Hey, I left something for you at my place. Stop by and pick up your lil gift!

blognut said...

So... this is going to sound weird, but I hope you have a good time visiting the va-jay-jay.

Yup. I was right. That totally sounds weird.

nothingfancy1 said...

Movie? What's that?

Danica said...

I really need to get into True Blood. All my neighbors are talking about it!

Kimberly said...

Llano Estacado!

Kimberly said...

Oops...that was a little premature. I was thinking further west. Sorry.

Jocelyn said...

I was all over that STAR TREK movie, too...'tho none of the men made my pulse race.

Must, er, have been because I was next to my husband AND IT'S HIS PRESENCE THAT MAKES MY PULSE RACE.

Yea, that's the ticket.

Bella said...

I can only assume by your absence that you are having a wonderful time?

*say cheese* :-)

Breathe said...

It could be worse. you could be in the buttock of lubbock.

looking forward to the fall of the diva boss. long live FL!!! (that's you, not florida. just sayin.)

Anonymous said...

You are Fragrant, but I am afraid that Carollton is the Vee Jay Jay, and you are just a tad off, didn't you notice? You missed the sweet spot by just a bit. Alas, the post would have stunk if you knew, so just as well, just turn over texas, t'aint nothing to it. I used to ride those thighs for hours..would have enjoyed it more if I knew.

Farmers Wife said...

Oh God I am Team Eric all the way. Trueblood that is, I am reading the books and am up to book 6... kinda obsessed with it all.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

OK, I'm with dar! Pics, please. We must see Mr. Fine.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Helllllooooooooooo.

Mr. Fine! Mr. Fine!!!

Rebel Mother said...

I did laugh at the 'two thick thighs' !

Dont work too hard.

I'm gonna check out that Mr T Kirk, he sounds delicious!

RMxx