September 7, 2009

Vajayjay to Staycay

What a week. Nestled for five days in the vajayjay of Texas to work a conference, followed by a four-day tech hiatus (and by that I mean no computers, no blog, and no brain drain), and I'm now in staycation status – kind of like stasis but without all the excitement. Okay, that's not quite true (hello-o-o, Fragrant LIAR). I did some fun stuff, spent time with great old friends and contemplated new ones. But mostly I was content to vedge.

Speaking of TRUE, while in the vajayjay, I was determined to catch my favorite guilty pleasure, courtesy of the Gaylord Hotel's HBO, but it turns out their HBO was the "family" channel version. Family? WTF!? Screw family. And isn't "HBO Family" some kind of perverse oxymoron? I want to see vamp sex. For free! Not a disappointment I'll take to the grave, but truly biting.

Besides, I stay in fancy schmancy hotels for the stuff I DON'T get at home, like room service ten times my per diem, wake-up calls that shoot you upright out of bed wondering where the fire is, and total respect from people who think I'm important and call me Your Honor. Never mind that I have to pay out the wazoo for everything from soup to nuts. There's always that per diem reimbursement, pats on the back from the boss, and generous thanks from the truly fine people we serve during conference, including the occasional small contingent of eye candy and potential toothachery which I am loathe to discuss with total strangers in a public forum (hey, email me . . .).

Did I mention that the Gaylord is the size of a continent? Bridging the distance from my room to the convention center was like trekking from Calcutta to Khartoum, on foot. Oh but for a friendly camel with a comfy hump and an in-flight movie.

Since I was deprived of my True Blood fix, upon returning home I hit Blockbuster and rented the first season DVDs (talk about blood sucking; they drain you by the episode). All family members under the age of consensual vampire sex have been relegated to the upstairs shelter wherein Hannah Montana and Sponge Bob rule. Popcorn and red licorice at the ready, I'm headed for Bon Temps.

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30 comments:

♥ Braja said...

Ha. You said Calcutta.

:)))

RED licorice? Bloody America...
:)

♥ Braja said...

OK, I confess, I'm only saying that cos the licorice I brought back from Oz is almost finished. Dammit. And no, you can't buy it here. Not the stuff I buy, which is gelatin-free, and also actually 99% fat free. Bloody delicious AND not fattening ha!! And for the husband? Salted licorice. I know. He's Danish, I'm sorry....

Comedy Goddess said...

Still a True Blood virgin. Guess I won't head to the Gaylord because that would be disappointing.

darsden said...

dang gina I thought this was going to be about mr. hottie..where is he in this lovely title LMAO... welcome home :-)

braja I have never heard of salted licorice

otin said...

Nothing better than a comfy hump!!!LMAO!!!!!

smiles4u said...

I am so going to the video store and checking to see if they have True Blood on dvd to rent. I have heard lots of talk about this show and since I love vampires, I must watch this.

Now you've made me hungry for licorce.

Vodka Mom said...

I have a feeling am MISSING something...should I go rent True Blood?????

Sarah Lulu said...

Welcome back ...I missed you!
I actually went looking for you yesterday and thought hmmmmmm maybe she is having SUCH a good time she has forgotten us!

powdergirl said...

I was once lost for 6 days in a Gaylord hotel. I had a fantastic time.

I'll e-mail you!

creative kerfuffle said...

i just jumped on the true blood bandwagon this year and i love eric. when sookie has dreams about him! oh.my.god. yum.
i can't believe the hotel hbo didn't have it. really? hbo family? wtf indeed. seems like an oxymoron.

AirmanMom said...

It's good to read your words again!!!!
~AM

phd in yogurtry said...

I am monogamous where vamps are concerned. I only have eyes for Edward. (Twist my arm?)

blognut said...

I don't watch TV and I'm starting to feel totally left out on the True Blood thing.

Is it too late to join the vampire cult?

Smart Mouth Broad said...

You've convinced me to check out this True Blood. I can't stand not knowing any more.

I love a great hotel. I'm just usually too cheap to do it. :-)

T said...

Ok - I've been hearing about this True Blood show from to many.....I'm going to have to check it out (great, another thing I need to get hooked on!)

Have you tried the series "The Tudors"? Whoa baby!

Farmers Wife said...

Another trueblood addicteeee...

Gaston Studio said...

It's the nuts that kill you every time in those fancy schmancy hotels.

Bella said...

Did you ride any wild camels?! Anyway, it's good to have you back!

Hit 40 said...

There is a gaylord hotel in orlando too that is suppose to be very nice!! I think we will try it on our next Florida trip.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Welcome back. It's nice to get a little break from the Internet world once in awhile, isn't it? Not that I would know becuz I'm addicted to it ... but!

bernthis said...

i think I am the only person not into Vampire anything. HBO for the family? I would not have been too happy with that

Julie said...

Please take me to Bon Temps with you. Pretty please....

--V said...

Try Netflix. Your fee is monthly for as many movies as you can watch, you can keep 'em as long as you like, and I just checked, they have True Blood Season I. They also have a slot reserved for Season II as soon as it's available.

Madame DeFarge said...

Good to see you back. Haven't seen this yet, so will have to gear myself up for a big session on DVD or something. And have never been to a Gaylord Hotel - are they tasteful and elegant much like myself?

The Peach Tart said...

I love room service and staying at hotels. I need a trip badly.

De Campo said...

Wait…you were at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel? I was there all last week!

Michel said...

Dude I adore room service!!! What is this true blood?? Is it like twilight, but all grown up after the breakup and the college ho-phase??

Margo said...

I've got to get HBO and Showtime. The problem is my teen daughters already have a concerning number of media addictions. If I was a good mother I guess I would get Family HBO? But what's the point?

Organic Meatbag said...

True Blood is one hell of a show...ought to be a kick-ass finale!

booshy said...

May just have to check out True Blood...the husband will be THRILLED. I'm not usually one to advocate such shows...mostly because I'll go to bed with a metal casing wrapped around my neck in fear of getting my blood sucked out...but you've made me curious.