Loo-hoo-zer!

Brace yourself. This will come as an unbelievable and devastating shock. Maybe you better sit down. Okay, so, well, here it is: I am a loser.

See, I've never won anything—at least not since 1966, when at the age of eleven I participated in a cake walk at Campbell Hill Elementary in Seattle. Then, in a parade not unlike the Bunny Hop, I promenaded around a big circle of chalk-drawn squares and happened to land on a square with the right number scrawled inside.

Voila! they said. You are the proud owner of a cake. A sugary pink, three-layer, cherry monstrosity, which I promptly devoured ALL BY MYSELF. I have no clue if it was any good because I pretty much inhaled it.

Perhaps that was the game turner. Perhaps my assigned Fickle Finger of Fate or my Personal Brand of Karma said, That's it, Mo-Folina, you are not ever winning anything again, since you have brought shame upon the person who made the only thing you ever won by selfishly vacuuming it up in one fell swoop ALL BY YOURSELF.

As an aside, back then I was a stick who could eat any amount of food and never gain an ounce. Even I hate me now.

Back to Bad Luck Betty . . . This good luck drought singlehandedly explains my inability to win the Lotto and therefore retire while I'm still young and sweet.

To recap, since 1966, I haven't won a fucking thing.

That is, until this week. After repeatedly entering my bloggy buddies' giveaways over the last year and NEVER winning so much as a feminine hygiene product, I am the proud owner of a sweet little makeup bag, handmade by Crystal at Chaya's Corner. I didn't even have to promenade for it. Thanks, Crystal!

And now that my luck has changed, I think I need a trip to the corner store.
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Go here to see Crystal's Etsy Shop and all the cool things she makes.
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