November 24, 2009

Loo-hoo-zer!

Brace yourself. This will come as an unbelievable and devastating shock. Maybe you better sit down. Okay, so, well, here it is: I am a loser.

See, I've never won anything—at least not since 1966, when at the age of eleven I participated in a cake walk at Campbell Hill Elementary in Seattle. Then, in a parade not unlike the Bunny Hop, I promenaded around a big circle of chalk-drawn squares and happened to land on a square with the right number scrawled inside.

Voila! they said. You are the proud owner of a cake. A sugary pink, three-layer, cherry monstrosity, which I promptly devoured ALL BY MYSELF. I have no clue if it was any good because I pretty much inhaled it.

Perhaps that was the game turner. Perhaps my assigned Fickle Finger of Fate or my Personal Brand of Karma said, That's it, Mo-Folina, you are not ever winning anything again, since you have brought shame upon the person who made the only thing you ever won by selfishly vacuuming it up in one fell swoop ALL BY YOURSELF.

As an aside, back then I was a stick who could eat any amount of food and never gain an ounce. Even I hate me now.

Back to Bad Luck Betty . . . This good luck drought singlehandedly explains my inability to win the Lotto and therefore retire while I'm still young and sweet.

To recap, since 1966, I haven't won a fucking thing.

That is, until this week. After repeatedly entering my bloggy buddies' giveaways over the last year and NEVER winning so much as a feminine hygiene product, I am the proud owner of a sweet little makeup bag, handmade by Crystal at Chaya's Corner. I didn't even have to promenade for it. Thanks, Crystal!

And now that my luck has changed, I think I need a trip to the corner store.
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Go here to see Crystal's Etsy Shop and all the cool things she makes.
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34 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I'm glad you're not that much of a loser anymore!

Jocelyn said...

I'm trying to figure out what kind of karma might have resulted in this win...does the universe think you need to wear more blush?

Hilary said...

Ahh too funny.. congrats to you. :)

Gillian said...

Awesome and congrats.

smiles4u said...

I'm a loser too. Congrats on your win!

Candice said...

Congrats. Perhaps your tide is turning. :)

Alix said...

Oh absolutely! Fill that sucker up!

Congratulations on the big score. Woot woot! Like you, luck does not hound me, nipping at my heels. Not dumb luck, anyway. But where it counts, the day-in, day-out, wake-up-every-morning-deeply-blessed, couldn't-ask-for-another-thing kind of luck? Sister, I have the corner on THAT market. Every breath I take I consider damn lucky. It's not like winning a makeup bag or anything, but i'll still take it.

Eternally Distracted said...

I hope that you put on a lottery ticket now this week...and If you win remember I gave you the idea ;0)

otin said...

Huh? I always think of you as a winner! :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!

mo.stoneskin said...

This could be the start of a new era. You'll be winning cakes daily from now on I'll bet.

Secretia said...

Disagree... From the moment I discovered your blog, I thought of you as a winner! A nice holiday to you!

Cakewalk--haven't heard that term in years. I'd run to a cake now!

Secretia

Beth said...

Good luck on the lottery stuff! You'll share with your best bloggy friends, right?

Michelle H. said...

Congrats! Buy a lotto ticket while your luck holds out.

midlife slices said...

From a loo-hoo-zer to a weiner!! woot!!!

Snappy Di said...

I won a bicycle at the county fair when I was 8 or 9 years old, and once a bottle of champagne *hic*up BUT, otherwise I'm a loser too, except for the 3 gifts I've won on blogs in the past year.... and then there's the mansion in Switzerland and the yacht in Bora Bora. lmao

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

TechnoBabe said...

How fun to feel like a winner and to get to fill the new cosmetic bag. Really cute bag too. Not you, the cosmetic bag, silly!

Red Hamster said...

Cool - Congrats! Now you're a winner - something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving.

Pop and Ice said...

Congratulations and run right out to get that lottery ticket while your luck holds! And have a great Thanksgiving.

Chris H said...

Congrats!
And that's freaky.
I too had not won A SINGLE thing except for a toilet roll holder when I was 9.. way back in 1967!
Then this year I have won at least 4 blogger giveaways!
Long may it last!

bernthis said...

I have the same "luck"you do. My dad once won a car! swear to God. He couldn't stop smiling for weeks. It was 30 years ago but still

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Congrats on the makeup bag. Unlike me, you will know how to use the stuff.

The Lady's Lounge said...

The only thing I have ever won, and I believe it was in 1976, was an ice cream sandwich and it wasn't really winning. It came with a blue ribbon that read "good participation"
Come to think of it everyone got one.
I've never won anything!!!

Oz Girl said...

Woo girl, yay! Go play that lotto, you've turned the corner in the world of contests and giveaways. You were never a loser, probably just in hibernation, waiting for the big win.

Congrats on your win, and happy turkey day with your family & friends!

carma said...

Congrats on your win!!! The drought is over...I remember winning a pineapple cake at a church auction when I was about the same age and it was a HUGE deal. Isn't it funny the things we remember....

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Bella said...

I never won nuttin' except a hard time and two ex's! Does that count?! hahaha

Hope you're having a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Brian Miller said...

ya. glad you are now a winner! smiles.

Breathe said...

You know you won that hot bod, so nuf of the bitchin.

:)

Plus there's like these hundreds o' fans...

xo

tattytiara said...

Ooh that's cute!

They gave a kid an entire cake as a prize? Bring back the 60s!

Rebel Mother said...

Congrats on winning a lovely bag!

I could do with sugary, pink, three-layered cherry cake.

Sounds delicious.

Love RMxx

Madame DeFarge said...

Congrats, but you've already won our hearts, minds and friendship. That's cheesy I know, but I'm just envious that you once won a cake. I've never won a cake. I'm jealous.

Jimmy Bastard said...

I saw you as a winner from day one.

Sarah Lulu said...

Congratulations ...

You are a winner in my eyes anyway ...I'm using you for inspiration at the moment actually!

Julie said...

I'm here catching up on my blog reading. Happy Sunday!

Crystal said...

Awww, thanks for the plug! Hope you enjoy your bag! :)