November 5, 2009

The Point

One reason I write this blog is to make a point about being me. Oh, yes. There is a point. You see, I am an, um, older woman. Not so old as to have AARP on speed dial, but old enough that my offspring have offspring. (I warned them, but they insisted on having sex, so now there are kids everywhere.)

These days I share a home with my daughter, her husband, and their rugrats. I work a full-time J.O.B., and my true passion as a writer is realized whenever I choose the risky behavior of getting myself in flow (Settle down, I operate in private and wash my hands afterward). I am the grateful beneficiary of fabulous friends and family who love and support me, not to mention the hundreds of dedicated Fragrant Liar readers and followers. I'm healthy in mind and body, wealthy in vitality and spirit, and wise in experience and common sense (shut up). I'm single—okay, divorced—but in a relationship (refer to surprise FaceBook announcement). While I am unique, I am not uncommon.

Therein springs the point.

We of this day and age are redefining what it means to be in so-called midlife, propelled by necessity to think not only outside the box (not that box, Otin), but outside the bedroom (okay, maybe that box). We want to replenish, rejuvenate, and rethink where we're headed and how many peeps we're taking with us. Our new wealth of connections in cyberspace have emboldened us.

Less than a hundred years ago, our mommy/nana counterparts were on their last ovary. They were overworked, weathered, and worn out by now. If they were unmarried, they were spinsters or widows. Current midlifers have shifted the tectonic plates of tradition, as has every generation, but now the pace of change seems exponential because technology allows us to communicate on a scale we never could have realized back when we were stretching a string between two empty Alpo cans. I'd like to thank the first geeky people who came up with bloggy theorem, but I don't know any. They did this.

I am a revealer. I share with you the details that inform my life, including the entertaining and embarrassing bits—voluntarily, which does strain my credibility, I know. However, my choice of self expression says loudly that no one pigeonholes me (not that pigeonhole, Otin). I speak candidly here because I am "out there," unafraid and unapologetic. (Mostly.) Judge all you want, people.

See, women of my day and age don't wait in rockers with curlers in their hair for the young'ns to visit anymore—although I am in the market for a recliner with a convenient holder for snackage and drinkage and garbage so I don't have to miss a moment of my fave shows.* And kiddos? Call first, will ya? No, we modern midlifers move and shake, even if solely for our own benefit. We seek purpose and fulfillment. We value quality of life and the chance to keep learning and growing. We revel in camaraderie and acceptance of who we are. We choose to not be invisible. We demand that our voices matter.

And that's the point.
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*If I didn't want to get out and have fun so much, I might invent a pleasant catheter experience so my feet never had to hit the floor. Oh, and have you seen the recliner that pops you upright with the press of a button? One second you're in repose, then BOING! you're dancing with Gilles! That one's got my name on it.
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42 comments:

Twenty Four At Heart said...

80 is the new 30 and I'm 24 for life. We are redefining everything! : )

♥ Braja said...

I had no idea age mattered.....

♥ Braja said...

I just checked...nope....it doesn't....

;)

Sarah Lulu said...

Ohhhh yes ...personally I'm just enjoying my adolescence.

Kay said...

awwww.... the "spinsters" of today are merely just idolistic ornaments for the other folk :)....if they (we) only knew :)

The Peach Tart said...

The older we get, the better we get.

Secretia said...

I get the point, I always knew. Good morning, and do what you want to today.

Nancy said...

I concur ... and oh the freedom!

Gaston Studio said...

I'm with Braja, baby! I'll turn 68 next month and am still redefining my "self", so stop worrying about the numbers because, they're just numbers.

smiles4u said...

Amen! To all of it! You say this so well...thank you!

The Bug said...

I wanna be you when I grow up! Actually, I'm pretty sure you're not that much older than I am - so I should just get with it!

We rented one of those recliners for my Mom when she was very sick (she had edema in her legs - they were tree trunks). It's a great concept - except that she had socks on & a hard wood floor. Should have seen her fly - it wasn't funny, but really it WAS funny...

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I love this!! I want that recliner that that dude drove in...not for the street...just to take me to the bathroom and back to the family room...maybe a stop in the kitchen.

midlife slices said...

You mean there's supposed to be a point to our posts?? geezzzz....

Jazz said...

That is indeed the point.

otin said...

I always have to think outside the box, that is about as close as I ever get! haha!

Oh My Goddess said...

I finally became happy with myself this 47th year of my life!

Bagman and Butler said...

Actually, the older I get the less I worry about what others think and the more fun I have.

blognut said...

I used to laugh at the notion that we get better with age, but I'll be damned if it isn't true.

I think we become more comfortable with who we are, and less concerned with what others think of that.

It's all good. :)

Midlife Jobhunter said...

"We revel in camaraderie and acceptance of who we are."

I think that's one of the best parts. Great piece, Fragrant Liar.

Stepping said...

60 is quickly approaching and I still feel young - most of the time! I am still not sure what I want to be when I grow up but it sure ain't "old".

Divine Chaos said...

I got that point the first time I read your blog ... and that's exactly why I keep coming back :)

McGillicutty said...

OK go check out my place where there's another chance to talk all about YOU!!!! :)

Bella said...

what a great post! I would have to concur! life doesn't start till midlife! You get to spoil your grandbabies and shock your grown children! Yep, it rocks!

Joanna Jenkins said...

"...we modern midlifers move and shake..."

Y E S ! ! !

Great post.

xo

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

you just became what I am aspiring to become!!!

TechnoBabe said...

Dang, this post has been up a couple days, how did I miss it? It is great. Full of candor and humor. It sure describes how we in the grandparent stage are living these days.

carma said...

I'm not far behind ya age wise. It is easy to get hung up on the number. Screw the number!!!!

I love the picture you paint!

Julie said...

Get thee to my blog, stat.

Gaelyn said...

You're just a kid. We could all easily live to 100, so in my mind 50 is maybe close to midlife. Why slow down for that. But I do like the idea of a recliner chair with snack and beverage holder, that pushes my butt out.

phd in yogurtry said...

And a needs-to-said point it was. Hoping I can find this when it's my turn to ask the kids to call first. (Truthfully, just hopin' they'll call at all!)

Madame DeFarge said...

I sometimes forget how old I am, right up until I'm reminded by people determined to put me in a box. You go girl!

Michelle Wells Grant said...

Girl, you ALONE have redefined midlife! And I tell ya, we're really not old yet! Did you ever see your grandma look like that L'l Red Riding Hood????? I think not!

creative kerfuffle said...

i love this post : ) and yes, the point is to be out there and have fun and screw what other people think.

Alix said...

Standing ovation. High Fives. And a big ol' Amen, sistah.

Although... being "a hip grandmother" {translation: being selfish and building no relationship with her grandchildren - or children for that matter} was my mother's greatest miscalculation. Now she's old and infirm and nobody is rushing to her aid. She's not neglected, but she didn't sow the seeds of love and sacrifice and therefore cannot reap them.

Somehow I don't think you're following in those footsteps. Just embracing your middle-aged awesomeness. As you should.

PS: Poor Otin. He gets picked on a lot.

Jocelyn said...

I know women in your demographic who lack your self-awareness and power. They make me sad, as there's something empty there.

You make me happy. You make me not scared for the next years of my life. Thank you.

AirmanMom said...

A few years back, my mom told me I would never become an 'old' woman...that is my quest! The years may be behind me, but there are always so many more years in front of me!
~AM

Rebel Mother said...

So with you on this one! Hurrah! Great post.

Much love RMxx

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

That is the point. I've never cared much about how shiny are the parts, just that they work. The only trouble is that now the parts keep falling off the chassis along the way, but it's still all good.

Good one.

Jason, as himself said...

A pleasant catherter experience? Talk about an oximoron!

And hey. Why haven't you posted for so long?

Rebel Mother said...

Its me again! Award for you at mine. Hope you like it.

Love RMxx

only a movie said...

Why exactly have I not been following you until now?

I just love the heck out of this post.

Lisa said...

I love this. Lately I've been telling my kids things like "you know, when I was your age, women my age were or were supposed to......" so this post touches me. Things have changed. Thank goodness.