October 5, 2009

Ahead of My Time

This is me at 17, just before my high school graduation ceremony. Note the exquisite babydoll dress, which I made myself, because I was crafty once upon a time.

Of course, my mother may have supervised and she may have cussed her way through the harder parts, since the fabric was slick as gooseshit (beloved family expression) and didn’t cooperate, and sometimes even the voice of experience struggles to make the magic happen. Ten years were shaved off my mother’s life after the thrill of sewing with satin and silk (plus her voice of experience said something about not being able to stand seeing me in that "fucking thing" afterwards), but then she quit smoking and added a few years back on, so odds are she will still be around to drop it like it's hot on the front porch with me. Right, Ma?

Notice also the length of the exquisite babydoll dress. In a super mini, if you bend over even just a little, the mystery is over. Indisputable fact. No, I’m not namin’ names of those suddenly in the know (like Heathen). But it was 1973. Minis were all the rage and we didn't give a shit about mystery (unless we're talkin' Kolchak in the Nightstalker), especially if it had anything to do with Watergate or Deep Throat. Plus, we could only laugh at every mention of Deep Throat, cuz maturity was for nerds. But just so that history won’t repeat itself, I should inform the modern masses: if you have to drone on and on that you are not a crook? You are one.

Note also the blue eye shadow and the long, wavy hair. Was I rockin’ it or what? Well, except for the pantyhose. I guess you saw the sheen on my thighs? Pantyhose has thankfully gone the way of the 8-track player (although who didn’t love the Doobie Brothers singing China Grove or Jesus is Just Alright on 8-track? Bitchin, man!). But let the record show, I’m Xtremely distraught that after all this time no substitution for pantyhose has been invented. In cold weather, what woman wants to go out bare legged, especially in a mini? People, we can send a freakin' multi-billion-dollar camera to Saturn's rings, but we can't come up with a workable alternative to hosiery? Pathetic.

All this to say, fads go around and then roll back around when designers can say, "Hey, look, something totally never done before!" Babydolls, minis, rainbow eye shadows, wavy hair, and platform shoes (no you can't see them, but they're there!) – all back in vogue. I was so freakin' ahead of my time back then.
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52 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Aren't leggings the new pantyhose? Or the new pants?

♥ Braja said...

The original baby doll?

Under the Influence said...

Thankfully tights are in this winter - patterned and solids! And they are even saying you can wear them with open toed shoes. Yahoo!

Midtown Girl said...

You look so pretty in that pic - and 17?? Wow, I thought you were going to say 12!! Kudos to your fab youthful looking-self chickie ;-)

XOXO
Amy

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I've always thought you were ahead of your time.

rxBambi said...

Now I know why you look like you're 40... cuz when you were 17 I thought you were in middle school... Seriously.
Quite a litle cutie tho. Still are :)

otin said...

Hot at 17! hot at 54! I better not say anything else, I might get in trouble! haha!

The Girl Next Door said...

Wait Pantyhose are out? Shioot. And leggings? So 80's - I know b/c I still have mine and no they are NOT part of a halloween costume. oh hell, I was never rockin' it like you baby doll, obviously!

Secretia Teller said...

So you are lucky then, you'll always look young! You learned a new truth now.

Secretia

daisyfae said...

Kolchak. He was totally hot. What's not to love about a vampire-killin' newspaper reporter!

and you were WAAAAY ahead of your time... back to the future... you still have that dress?

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

You really are the trend setter. You look like you are about 10 in that picture!! Tights. I do the tights or leggings. Well, unless I need some extra sucking innage, then I go for spanx, but those come in tights...or I just won't wear a skirt..that solves that problem!

Twenty Four At Heart said...

You don't look 17. Or maybe I'm just old. Your 17 looks like 10 to me. OMG - I AM old!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

17??? Seriously? You have some good genes Girl! That means that when you're 80, you'll look 50?

You were rockin' it for sure...loved the dress but I'm sure if you dropped something, you just kept steppin' and didn't pick it up.

The Things We Carried said...

You were a doll!

Yoli said...

What a witty writer!

Sarah Lulu said...

Soooooooooo sweet.

I remember that era well.

I thought I was hot hot hot in my caramel leather ...platorms with about six inches of cork!

Pop and Ice said...

Such an adorable dress! And yes, I remember the long hair and blue eyeshadow as well. Did you wear Heaven Sent or Loves Fresh Lemon Perfume, too?

Chrissy said...

What a little Lolita you were. My favorite 8 track was the Andrea True Connection. More...more...more...how do you like it.....

Justine said...

Gee, your hair looked terrific! Heeheeheeeeee!

My goodness girl, you can practically see your twat in that dress! Your mother was crazy to let a hot young you wear that!

Justine :o )

Vegas Linda Lou said...

HAHAHA! I wore something just like that to my junior high graduation and somebody whistled went I walked across the stage. It was the first time anyone ever whistled at me, and I thought, "cool." I've been dressing like a hussy ever since.

Snappy Di said...

wooo hoooo, I was ahead too! Baby dolls were so kewl.

DI

phd in yogurtry said...

The girl with goldilocks hair!

I'm glad panty hose and open toe sandals found their way to the don't list. But I'm not all that fond of baring my grubby legs for dress up affairs.

Winter is for long skirts and black tights when emerging from my closet.

MommaKiss said...

Good morning! Thank you for stopping by! Love your long silky hair, too - and fads...I wish I had my sister's old sweaters (she's 12 yrs older than me)...they are totally back in style.

foxy said...

WOW - look at you!!!! Such a HOT MAMA... before the mama part!

Captain Dumbass said...

How YOU doin?

Gaston Studio said...

Believe me, every fashion trend has been seen at least once by moi! They just call it by a different name and what, think we're all stupid?

You were the cutest 17 year old!

Violet said...

Couldn't agree with you more about pantyhose. I will NOT wear a skirt from now 'til May because I will NOT wear pantyhose EVER and I don't relish the idea of frostbite on my kneecaps.

Hmmmm, now you've got me wondering what a decent alternative to pantyhose might be.

Jazz said...

By the way, there's an award for you at my blog.

Ann's Rants said...

SIZZ-LIN'!

Your mom aided and abetted in that sexpot frock?

It's an adorable picture.

Mr. Charleston said...

Never could figure out why you wimmen don't wear pants when you need pantyhose. Give me a girl in hip-hugger Wranglers and cowboy boots any day. Yeeee Ha!

Suzy said...

First of all, Tim Gunn hates leggings.

Second of all, the reason there is a sheen on some pantyhose is because those are the cheap, but sturdy, ones.

Go buy some DKNY's for 22.50 and there is absolutely no sheen. And they last about one night.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Look at all that beautiful hair! You look like you're 12.

So glad I read your blog. Now I know to go get tights. Will they be easier to get on than panty hose?

carma said...

Girl, you were rockin' it. Wish I could have said the same when I was 17 - that was during my "punk phase" and a crew cut was not quite as hot :-( understatement.

powdergirl said...

Briggite Bardot has nothing on you, kid.

Love the hair, the dress, and the rose colored carpeting : D

Fresh said...

Very pretty! You had Rachel Zoe hair, lol.

Beth said...

You are just adorable! And you look just like the girl from down the street who used to babysit for me and my sister. She was so cool. And so was her long-haired, hippie boyfriend.

Jocelyn said...

Ooh, I love a gal who's all hair and legs and threat of exposed vagina.

I refuse pantyhose. Have for decades. Yea, just wear the mini with no hose. Do it.

Oh, and I misread "slick as gooseshit" at first as "slick as goosehilt," at which point I was all chuckling and musing, "My goodness, what those Texans come up with! I don't know what it means, but it sounds very colorful!"

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Look how hot you are! rockin it alright.

Midlife Mama said...

And you didn't even mention your totally bitchin' leather purse with the tooled painted flowers on it! Those were SO groovy back then. I graduated in 1976 and I had one of those, too. Rock on! :) But my mother never ever would have let me out of the house in a dress like that. My dresses could be no shorter than where the tips of my fingers were on my thighs, which, of course made me a total dork. *sigh* And being nearly 5'11" tall, platforms were totally out.

So. Other than the purse? I was a total dork. LOL

Joanna Jenkins said...

I bet you drove the boys crazy. 17 looks GREAT on you :-)
xo

Danica said...

I ran into a lady last night at a volleyball game with panty hose and sandals on. WTF

slacker-chick said...

And that hair! You look like Robert Plant's love-child - I'm turning green with envy, bitterness, and regret - I hope you're happy. ;->

Madame DeFarge said...

Loving that hair. Were skirts/dresses ever that short? I shudder when looking back over some of my old school photos. Anyway, you look cute and innocent of the world. So nothing's changed right?

Farmers Wife said...

Wow you are so rad.....Your hair is gorgeous and your dress is short...gotta love the baby doll dresses!!

mo.stoneskin said...

"we didn't give a shit about mystery"

That's the way it should be.

Michelle Wells Grant said...

Ah, what a fun trot down memory lane! But are you sure you were 17 in that photo? You look 8! Which is why you STILL look way younger than you are!

midlife slices said...

I have a picture of myself in 1973 and we could be twins only I rarely wore panty hose even then. I had the cool long shag hair thing going and I'm sure my homemade dress was so short that when at sat, my butt didn't touch an inch of material. I also made my own bell bottoms and made the bells extra wide so I wiped out half the people I passed walking up and down the school halls. Ahhh....the good old days.

oh, I also wore pointed toe wing tip cowboy boots and NO one else did. Talk about being ahead of your time!!!

Divine Chaos said...

Aww, you look far out, totally groovy! That is a really cute dress, even if it is slick as owl snot (that's our regional saying lol)

I had to make an outfit in Home-Ec once .. it was a 1-piece jumpsuit in leopard print. It ended up with 1 leg smaller than the other because I cannot sew a straight seam to save my ass ... and that was my last sewing adventure.

nothingfancy1 said...

You are totally ROCKIN!!!!

The Not-So-Eligible Bachelor said...

They just don't grow 'em like they used to...

I Wonder Wye said...

Ah, you looked so cute! I cringe to see that the '70s are back in rage for Halloween outfits, having lived through them.....

Hit 40 said...

This dress would actually pass our school dress code. The dresses today need shorts under the skirt.

Great picture!! Takes me back to high school