December 10, 2009

I Have a New Baby

By "I", I mean my daughter TG, but that's not important. I was there, and I helped. Of course, TG did all of the hard work, which included six hours of induced labor, masked by the "tell me when it's over" miracle that is an epidural. Please. People, I had four kids myself, au naturale, which included concentrated breathing techniques and ridiculously contrived panting while aiming projectile obscenities at the rat bastard who'd knocked me up in the first place.

And pushing . . . There's a gift from on high. God, or whoever invented us, had a twisted sense of humor. Let's give women a hole the size of a kumquat and see if they can push a pumpkin through it, shall we? While my sperm filter had allowed gratuitous stuff into the inbox without so much as a cautionary flag, nothing was getting through the outbox. I prayed for C-sections that never came.

So what gives? Our new baby, the Princess Shaboobka, came out in two—count 'em, 2—pushes. Says the doc after push #1: "Oh, I think this one's going to be easy." After push #2: "Oops."

So, bloggy world, here is our precious new Shaboobka at three days old. She's a keeper, isn't she?

58 comments:

rxBambi said...

congrats!!! She is so beautiful. I want to come and smell her :)

okay, that sounded totally freakerish.

I just love the way babies smell. And puppies.

I'm gonna stop now before you think I am a total whack job.

You don't, do you?

I'm not. Much.

Crap. I havent even had any wine yet today

De Campo said...

Beautiful. I’m glad she’s a cute baby because I hate having to fake sincerity.

Congratulations!

Jazz said...

Definitely a keeper.

Princess Babushka? Princess Grandmother?

You're the Babushka, not her. Though eventually she will probably be. So the nickname is prescient. Cool

Brian Miller said...

congrats on the beautiful new baby! and wow on the easy birth!

Fragrant Liar said...

Heh, heh, we always called each other Babushka when we were teenagers. Guess we were not only hapless, but witless as well. So, no longer is she Babushka. I like Shaboobka better anyway, don't you?

morethananelectrician said...

Hurray!!!! My wife was "blessed" by the third child not having the curse of the monstrous sized Burgess head that my genes had given to the first two.

Congratulations to your family!

daisyfae said...

congratulations! she's absolutely gorgeous. doesn't look like winston churchill as an old man, the way most newborns look....

Secretia said...

She is tuly beautiful, and now you can be a proud and sexy young grandma!. My best to her mom and dad too.

Secretia

witchypoo said...

The fast delivery really makes for an early beauty. Kumquat? Pumpkin? Ouch. I remember that.

Santa Claus said...

HO HO HO! What a little beauty! One more for me to add to the list! Merry Christmas! Otin said hello, also!

Missy said...

Congrats! She is beautiful!

only a movie said...

Oh, wow. That might be the most beautiful 3 day old baby I've ever seen. Congratulations!

Mandy's Kidding said...

I hope I push this pumpkin out in two pushes! The first pumpkin took 30 minutes of pushing, but I don't remember how many pushes it was exactly. I'm going to make The Fiance count 'em, kind of like the "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll?"

TechnoBabe said...

She is absolutely beautiful!!I was with my daughters when their children came popping out and I am grateful that I was there. Enjoy your granddaughter.

Violet said...

Very pretty baby! Her head is so nice and round! :)

Bella said...

awwww, she is beautiful, what a wonderful early Christmas present for all of you. Congrats!

Big Pissy said...

Awwwwww......

Beautiful baby!

Congrats! :)

blognut said...

She is bee-you-tee-ful!

Congratulations to all!

Snappy Di said...

Is that a twinkle I see in her eyes?

drollgirl said...

she is BEAUTIFUL!!! and two pushes?!?! what a DREAM!

Cindy said...

Beautiful!

Jocelyn said...

The word "beautiful" is too small. She's a heart-stopper.

And I do LUFF a baby/delivery story, particularly with attention to the pushing.

No, seriously.

Yes, I have issues.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

She is beautiful with lots of hair. She'll have ribbons in no time!

Congratulations to you all!!

mo.stoneskin said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwww. I'll bet she warms your little heart.

Hilary said...

That's such a gorgeous face. She's bright and beautiful. Congrats to you and yours. :)

Lisa said...

Beautiful!!!!
Congratulations to you all.
And OMG, pushing. It's gotta be a joke, right? #1 vacuumed after I couldn't push anymore, #2 yanked out after he got stuck (nothing like having someone's head hanging from your outbox, #3 slid out like the videos, didn't even muss my lipstick. No wonder. Her path was made.

IB said...

That's one good looking baby! Yeah. you should keep her.

Congratulations to all!

Gaston Studio said...

OMG, she's gorgeous and those eyes! Princess Shaboobka is going to bring so much joy to everyone in her little life, what a special early Christmas present!

Julie said...

Oh. My. Gosh. She is just beautiful!!!! Congrats!!!!

foxy said...

Simply beautiful! I can't wait to meet her... THIS SUNDAY!! :)

Anonymous said...

Awww....I love babies and she is adorable. Could you save her for my new grandson? We could arrange a marriage in about 22 years which should give us plenty of time to work on the details. Such as......how to decorate our walkers to coordinate with the chosen colors. :)

Congrats Nana!!!

Together We Save said...

Congrats!! Sweet picture.

The Giraffe Head Tree said...

Look at those beautiful eyes! Congratulations to all!

Danica said...

Congrats! She's beautiful!

Suldog said...

That's one of the best new babies I've ever seen. Seriously. Most are squishy, red, wrinkled, downright NOT pleasant to look at - at least for me.

And you are one funny lady.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

AWWW!!!!

Congrats!!!

;)

@eloh said...

Congratulations!
She really is a pretty baby.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Oh, she IS beautiful. What a pretty little face!

Sarah Lulu said...

Ohhh she's beautiful.

My baby granddaughter arrives on Wednesday for 2 weeks!!!!!!!

I can't wait.

Aren't they such a joy?!

Suzy said...

I love babies but have never had any human ones. Is there a way to stop them from becoming teenagers?

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I want one! She's so beautiful!! You're so lucky! I'm not going to leave the horrid details of my first birth (#1 Son) so, I'll tell you about my home births. I also have 4 kids. Had all 3 girls at home and I loved each experience. Youngest was born on my 36th birthday but her fist was up to her face so I pushed for about 18 hours to get her out. I tell people that she came out waving.
Thanks for visiting me!
Hugs!!

diane said...

She is indeed very beautiful. I'm not going to gush about her round head, or about wanting to smell her, or about loving reading about pushing. But she is indeed very beautiful.

Richard @ The Bewildered Brit said...

Congratulations!

Thank you for the comment on my blog--that was the biggest laugh I've had in ages!

I'm really loving your blog!

Michel said...

omg that is one CUTE baby. And, you should know that IS a miracle. Babies (that new) are NEVER that cute.

you should keep her. Tis a rarity.

The Jules said...

Very cute.

When the trial period is over, I think you should keep her!

Congratulations!

Captain Dumbass said...

Shaboobka. I like it.

JennyMac said...

She is ADORABLE!!!!!! Welcome to the world baby girl.

Skye said...

Yay Shabooka! She's stunning!

Madame DeFarge said...

She is soooo cute. Congrats to all concerned. Happy babysitting!

Pearl said...

Awww! Look how alert and bright she looks!!

Good for you, Grandma. :-) Fragrant Grandma.

Pearl

Jason said...

This is a great site you have here. I just found it from a friend's page. I have a humor blog as well and I'd like to exchange links with you. This will spread some traffic around between us. Let me know if this is cool.

Jason
HilariousHeadlines TALK

Ambiance in the Attic said...

What a beautiful bundle of joy! I think she looks perfect!

Susan Anderson said...

She is gorgeous! Def a keeper :)

Lola said...

Congratulations! She's beautiful.
December birthdays are so much fun. Three down, two more to go for me...

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Congrats! How exciting! I'm sorry I'm so belated with my visit ... I've been drowning in the return of my kids from college. My google reader is about to explode its been so neglected!

Pat said...

You are funny! Congrats on your new grand daughter. She is a cutie alright.

You know what they say....if men had babies there would be a LOT of 1 child families! Ain't THAT the truth!

sherri said...

that is one good-lookin' baby. congratulations.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Oh, what a lovely princess! Two pushes? Really? I'm guessing she'll be all laid-back and cheerful because she didn't have hours and hours of birth-canal trauma. What a holiday gift! And thanks for coming over to my blog, grandma!