April 26, 2009

Hobbies 'R' Us -- Not!

My friend Michel at Facts Are Strictly Optional got me thinking about hobbies. She doesn't have any, but don't tell her I said that. She's stuck in Sudan with oddly decorated mystery meat, and I don't want her to think we're all talking about her. 'kay?

Anyway, I began wondering what even constitutes a hobby – besides woodworking in your garage, rebuilding vintage cars, and hand-crafting or creating anything. What about sports? What if you’re an avid spectator of sports? Is that your hobby - spectating? Wikipedia, the trusted last word on everything, defines hobby as a “spare-time recreational pursuit.”

Does this mean that flirting is a hobby – and a recreation – if you pursue it in your spare time? What if you’re totally competitive about it? Pursuit being an activity, I think we have five levels of potential hobbification:

  1. Professional whatever (we’re talking Lance Armstrong here),
  2. Wannabe-pro-highly-competitive-might-squeak-onto-the-A-team whatever (weekend warriors who will sharply tongue-lash you if you call what they do a hobby – I'm just trying to protect you – don't ever call my writing a hobby),
  3. Recreational whatever (I’ll give this to Ex #2 who made grand efforts),
  4. Spectator/popcorn-gobbling whatever (definitely Ex #1), and
  5. It-crossed-my-mind whatever (sorry, Ex #3, that’s you).
Sorry to get all scientific on you. But anyway maybe only the first one or two are actual vocations, cuz those peeps would be more inclined to work at whatever all the time, making it more like a J.O.B. Numbers 4 and 5 – no real pursuit going on there, so we’re down to #3, and we can deduce that only a particular set of pursuits can be considered recreational and ipso facto hobbies. Well, that's science for ya. You can't argue with it.

Which brings me to online dating sites. Not that they’re scientific, though I did meet a cute Latino biology professor on there. See, nobody wants to be perceived as a slacker on a dating site cuz that would be unattractive, and how do you expect to get a date if you’re a slug who only wants to grow his hairy preggers belly and biceps swag? On Match.com, it’s hard to find a profile that doesn’t have a whole lot of activities checked off as things a person likes to engage in, like football, baseball, running, hiking, wrestling, body building, martial arts, scuba, racquetball, basketball, bike riding, gymnastics, and dancing. Thing is, you KNOW a good portion of those activities fall into Hobbifications 4 and 5 – especially the dancing one – gah! They're not doing as much as they're thinking about doing, or spectating. It’s true. I know it’s hard to believe it, but SOME of those people are L-Y-I-N-G.

Therefore, I’ve deduced that I’ll never know who’s a real slug and who isn’t before I meet them. So I can never be assured that I will never be pressured to exercise again. (sigh) I’m too logical for my own good.
.

28 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I met my husband on a dating site, and in his profile picture, he was holding a giant Samurai sword. Not a euphemism. He actually taught karate at the time. Super hot.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Can blogging be considered a hobby? Next to that I've got walking my dog and nagging my kids.

Michel said...

I tell you, hobbies are overrated. I hate them! You need to just check every stupid box...then claim a computer glitch.

And I think pseudo is right, my hobby is blogging....I can't seem to stop it.

Therefore, go with the old standby: LIE

daisyfae said...

there is no substitute for assessing the gentleman/lady face-to-face. unfortunately. anyone can talk a good game - especially when e-fishing. and i like the scientific approach: hobby requires actual effort in the activity. not just spectating...

Wunderwoman said...

I never been on a dating site, so be careful!

Gaston Studio said...

LOL on your tag LIARS 'R' US! I think that pretty much tells us what you really think of online dating!

*Some* of the people are lying? Try about 95%!

Stepping Thru said...

I just love reading about your dating theories. Should anything ever happen to Coach I am coming to seek your expert advise.

Jannie Funster said...

Nikki Crumpet was right about this blog!

Funny stuff.

blognut said...

Embrace the lie. That's all I can say. :)

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

There's nothing wrong with not having an actual hobby that is considered a hobby by normal standards. Anything can be a hobby. I consider sitting on the toilet to be my hobby, for instance.

SweetPeaSurry said...

Yup that's it ... the new Olympic Sport of choice! Competitive Flirting. Where do I sign up?

True Blue Texan said...

And this is why I'm glad I'm not single...

By the way, drop over to my blog and pick up a lovely award.

phd in yogurtry said...

I used to have hobbies and then I discovered blogging. I am now a one-trick pony.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Yeah, you pretty much have to meet them while they are DOING their hobbies, rather than spectating. So put on yoru jock strap, join some local wrestling group and let us know how it goes.

:)

- Margaret

bernthis said...

I can't tell you how many guys I'd talked from those online dating sites who haven't participated in 99 percent of the activities they say they enjoy.

Jocelyn said...

Then again, you don't want to go exercising for nothing.

Maybe you could turn Buying Spanx into a hobby?

Butler and Bagman said...

Maybe life itself can be a hobby? That would make it more fun. Kind of like collecting days and putting them into an album. Or is that blogging? Is thinking about having a hobby a hobby? I love all the places this blog can lead! And I, too, think way too much.

Jane said...

This is a great post and a great blog. I appreciate your wit and will be back to visit again soon!

Jane

Debbie said...

I always love your humor! I'm not sure about the hobby thing either. I'm more into obsessions!

Life on Bonnie Lane said...

David Beckham half naked and his package...thank you thank you thank you! I could make him my hobby, seriously. If I could get the skinny bitch away from his side.

I love your comments on online dating profiles. Yeah, most of them are lying. I heard that to get to the truth, subtract 4 inches from what they tell you is their penis size. And why do they always want to tell us that? Argh!

Since I am temporarily unemployed, I should be building a hobby, but lately it seems that my biggest hobby is going to bed at 3 a.m. and getting up at 11.

Kady

Angie said...

I never put much on my profile because if I was honest about my hobbies it would have sounded like this: My interests include; staring at myself in the mirror (a lot, way more than is healthy), spending ridiculous amounts of time looking at (okay, making fun of) other people's wedding registries, and obsessively buying supplies for craft projects that I will never actually complete.

Madame DeFarge said...

Hobbies are vastly overrated. I wish to spend my no-working moments in improving pursuits, aimed at increasing my value to the world. Or sitting in a bar, eating chips and pontificating about the world. Either will do.

Vodka Mom said...

oh my God I was so distracted by the HOTTIE i forgot what we were talking about.

Pass my a napkin so I can wipe the drool.....

Vodka Mom said...

yes, I deleted 211 posts.

pass the damn vodka.

La Belette Rouge said...

As I am a professional non-sleeper I think that makes my naps a hobby.

nikkicrumpet said...

WOO HOO I'd like to excercise with hot dude pictured above! (did I say that out loud?) My only "hobby" that falls into the top three spots is eating chocolate. It's definitely border line between a job and a serious pursuit!

midlifeslices said...

Is that underwear wearing hottie glad to see me or does he just have a small alien trying to get out of his shorts? It looks like there's an arm sticking out of the waistband?

Maybe I should take another look WITH my glasses, this time.

Fragrant Liar said...

I agree, blogging must be a recreational activity. Along with coffee drinking and popcorn popping.

MLS, that hottie I glad to see you, I'll bet. ;)