May 19, 2009

Pants on Fire

Um, guess it's Panties Week . . .

When we were kids, we loved to chant (with more regularity than my bowel movements and far more fervor), "Liar liar, pants on fire!" Now, as then, humanity is obsessed with truth. Who's telling it, and who's not?

So why stop now? The lovely Jane at Gaston Studio has tagged me to play a game. I am to list three things, and you all get to guess which one is a lie and WHY. Remember, Jane challenged me to do this, but she has me beat. Her life is and has been rich with adventure and intrigue fantastic enough for a bestseller. I cannot hope to compete with those truths. However, I will give it the old "school of hard knocks" try.

But first, some business. Mom, Dad: Right now, hit CTRL+ALT+DELETE and step away from the computer.

Ready?

  1. I once got caught doing it with my boyfriend on the 17th hole of Moon Valley CC golf course late at night. The greens keeper drove up in his ultra quiet golf cart and warned us, with a toothy grin, that the sprinklers were about to come on and we ought to move in a hurry if we wanted to stay dry.
  2. I once got caught doing it with my boyfriend on the shore of a quiet city lake late at night. The sheriff and his deputy tip-toed over a ridge to find us, brandishing badges and a really bright flashlight. Sheriff suggested we get dressed and consider abstinence since we were so young (Hey, I was legal!).
  3. I once got caught doing it with my boyfriend in his bedroom by his eighty-plus-year-old grandma, who freaked and kicked me out of the house, then tattled to his parents. I fixed her by marrying him.
My parents aren't here to tell you, but they are so proud right now. Come on, people, you knew I had to make this innocuous little game all dark and twisty. It's my job! Ready to guess? Don't forget to write WHY the one you chose is a lie.
And now for your fragrant moment of Zen: See the name of this blog site above? When I later tell you which scenario is a lie, can you really be sure that's true? Or are my pants on fire? Check out my next post for the answer.

30 comments:

The Wife O Riley said...

I'm going to say #2 is the lie.

♥Trina♥ said...

Hmmm...which is the lie??? I'm gonna go with number 1 because I'm not so sure the greens keeper would be out in his ultra quiet golf cart late at night.

I have a contest on my blog. Pop over and check it out.

darsden said...

dang this one is a little harder..chit ;p pun intended...anyway I am going with number 2 as the lie...

darsden said...

great title by the way

Sarah Lulu said...

I don't think Grandma caught you!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I'm going with #1 but I'm not feeling very confident about it. You sure get caught a lot. LOL

daisyfae said...

number 2 is the lie... i've seen too many creepy movies where the cops end up getting freaky with the young couple, and someone ends up sliced up on a meathook in a freezer.

i need to watch better movies....

Missy said...

First, about those regular BM's, how?
Second, this post was hilarious!~ You are a brave, brave woman!

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

hee hee hee... won't tell how many times and where I got caught..

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal
(a very very naughty girl)

Divine Chaos said...

I'm gonna vote for #1 being the lie .. those golf carts aren't THAT quiet ... unless you're a screamer. You probably are, aren't you?

Jason, as himself said...

I love that all of these are about getting caught doing it with your boyfriend!

I think the one about getting caught by the sherriff is the fake. They snuck up on you? Who sneaks up on people who are doing it? Don't you just stumble across stuff like that?

Kulio said...

Only ONE of them is a lie?

Oh my :-)

Must be number 1!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I can't help but keep thinking OMG. Two of these stories are true. SMB is right, you do get caught a lot.

I say #2 coz I don't think the po po goes to that much trouble for people doing it.

Laura said...

I have to agree with Pseudonymous High School Teacher. My vote is that all three are true and you are one awesome chick. I love your blog! Come stop by.

sallymandy said...

I think the police one is the lie. What else did you get caught doing?!

Chairman Bill said...

3 different boyfriends, or the same one?

Andrew Scott Turner said...

Wow, I spent a year in college in west Texas DYING to meet someone like you to .. um ... golf with. No such luck. I guess it was the company I kept.

Anyway, I say Number 2. I met some law enforcement officials in Abilene and in Dallas and in neither case were they the type to use the word "abstinence"...

:-)

Tom Erdman said...

#2 happened to me and I believe #3, so I think #1. One question, are you hard of hearing?

smiles4u said...

You sure do get "caught" a lot. They all sound pretty believable but I would say #2 isn't true.

Gaston Studio said...

I think #1 is the lie because the sprinkler, had it turned on, would have put out the fire in your pants!

Congrats on your award... can I say that, since I was one of the givers? I say I can because your blog is most definitely lively, fresh and of superior quality!

Jane

Midlife Mama said...

*Ahem* that whole encounter with the police thing? Been there, done that. LOL

I think that #3 is the lie. :)

Fragrant Liar said...

How fun! Some of you are hot! And some of you are cold! :)

morethananelectrician said...

Regardless of which is the lie...I vote for #2...it makes the other two true.

Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!

Jan said...

I vote for #3. Yup, #3.

Jocelyn said...

I actually think they're all true--Lord knows, you like to have sex anywhere, right? (completely random aside: every time I look at your avatar photo, I ask myself, "Is she REALLY that cute?" Cuz you'ze cute)

But if I have to choose one, it's the golf course one. Clearly, the groundskeeper came along too late for you two to "keep from getting wet."

Comedy Goddess said...

#1 is the lie.

#'s 2 and 3 are totally believeable. Nothing that I haven't done. What?

Hit 40 said...

#2 is the lie. Coppers never tip toe. I should know.

Frogs in my formula said...

I'm going to go with #1 as well.

phd in yogurtry said...

I'm going to guess that #1 is the lie because of the sprinklers coming on "late at night." Greens watering should be done early morning. Late night watering encourages fungus and insects. I think?

Butler and Bagman said...

I'm going with #1 as well...but maybe that is only because over the years I've been caught by the the police and by my grandmother...so maybe I'm just projecting my own lack of golf course experience...