June 11, 2009

Butt Tatts

First, how many of you out there fell for my naked photo in front of Butt Hole Road? Raise your hands. Go ahead, ni-i-i-ice and high. Keep 'em up, I'm counting . . . That's like two bazillion of you. I had no idea how awesome my photo fakery was. Must have been the bling. Of course a girl like me would never show up naked to a photo shoot without her coral necklace. For the record, I would never plop my naked butt down on dirty, pebbly pavement. Unless I was on Ativan, probably.

Okay, so it's Butt Week here at Fragrant Liar. (Not really, but I like to say, hey, speaking of penises, or speaking of vaginas, or speaking of butts . . .) So here ya go:

When seven-year-old Kabob and his mother Scoots (my daughter #2) came over to our house for a celebratory birthday barbecue, they were most anxious for the rest of the family to see Kabob's visionary handiwork.

"Look what he did!" his mother proclaimed proudly. "He put on his own tattoos. Show 'em!"

Kabob then turned around and dropped his shorts.

To those of us chowing down on Prince George's slow-cooked-all-day brisket at the dinner table, we were what you might call surprised. Even his mom hadn't expected a full monty. One second the moons were shining brightly, a self-applied tattoo on each cheek, and the next it was all over but the gasps and giggles. In fact, it happened so fast, I didn't even see what the tattoos looked like.

I'm afraid Miss America couldn't see them either, since Kabob was facing her when he pantsed himself. She did see a little something else. Having seen her little brother's waterworks, I guess Kabob didn't make much of an impression, but I, for one, will never forget it.

Here's Kabob in a recent photo. At least, I think so. It's hard to recognize him with clothes on.

From my Fall 2008 collection.

33 comments:

midlife slices said...

I didn't fall for it. O.k. I might have had I seen it before I read that it was a fake out but still.....i didn't. :)

I don't think seeing the water works of a brother is very likely to impress any sister, at least none in my family. We've always been very open nudies to the point that when they got to be teenagers I'd have to make them not walk through the house naked if there was company in the house. Maybe you should ask to see the tats again, but in slow motion. LOL

Tom Erdman said...

I didn't read your Butt Hole Road until tonight, so I'm making my remark about that. I regularly travel to Shanghai, China and go down a road called Longdong Road. Following your reasoning, should I????? Of course, now knowing your advanced age and the approximate size of my appendage, maybe you wouldn't see.

Kristina P. said...

Wow, he is a really confident kid, I guess!

Jason, as himself said...

I missed the Butt Hole Road post. Rats. Would I have fallen for it? Who knows?

But I have to say you are truly evil for deceiving all of those zillions of people like that.

♪♥♫ TrAcY ♪♥♫ said...

I just assumed you were being "funny" about being naked! lol! I didn't fall for it as being truthful :-)

phd in yogurtry said...

Nothing like a little butt crack to make the brisket go down smooth.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Dinner and entertainment! That's my kind of gathering!!

Joanna Jenkins said...

You totally punked me! I bought it hook, line and sinker!

Have a great weekend.

Chairman Bill said...

Knowing the size of UK road signs, you'd hahve had to be a 2 foot dwarf for that pic to be genuine.

Amy said...

Hmmm...the snazzy necklace definitely had me confused. Sneaky Sneakerton.

lovelyprism said...

That's funny. I'd have to say I don't ever recall a full monty during any of my family dinners.

Anna Russell said...

Now that kid could tell Bart Simpson to eat HIS shorts.

otin said...

Everytime I drop my pants in front of someone, they usually say,"turn your head and cough!" LOL!

Gaston Studio said...

I confess, I feel for it but I'm naive that way.

Good on Kabob for having the guts to 'drop 'em' and for knowing it would be acceptable from you guys! Really cool!

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

i love FULL MOONS! hehehe

and i totally fell for it!

Jazz said...

But but but you mean not everything on the internet is true?

creative kerfuffle said...

rofl--ok, i thought you were going to tell us you had a tatt on YOUR butt : ) if so, we'd have something else in common ; )

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I read backward so I didn't fall for it as you had already spilled the beans. Good for kabob! Every young man should honor their mother in some way or another. He might was to use some judgment next time tho before scarring his poor cousin for life. *wink*

Bella said...

obviously he is not a shy one! lol

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Madame DeFarge said...

And what were the tattoos? Did anyone remember in the excitement?

Mental P Mama said...

Cheeky boy;) Now I want some brisket.

ModernMom said...

That's one way to keep a dinner party interesting!

Fragrant Liar said...

The boy takes after his mother. Whether you know my daughter or not is inconsequential. The apple didn't fall far from the tree.

Hmmm. Maybe it's a family trait.

carma said...

OH no!

Captain Dumbass said...

So were they like, left and right?

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

He sounds like a fun kid if you ask me.

Justine said...

Damn, I really wish I could have been there to see that. At the dinner table no less.

And nope, sorry, I knew you weren't nekkid under that sign!

Justine ;o )

Alicia @ boylerpf said...

Nothing like a dinner and a full moon in costume!

Wendy said...

I hope my son doesn't here about this or he'll want to try it. NOOOOOOOOO!

Farmers Wife said...

Wow, so dinner and a show? and you can't remember what the tats looked like lolol

Twenty Four At Heart said...

What a great story!

Lisa said...

I'll be looking at the posts I missed to see your coral necklace. Boys crack me up with their unabashed behavior. I have video the actor dropping his pants and mooning his year old sister on her birthday. He didn't realize that my husband had set the video recorder up when he climbed up on that chair and put his naked booty in his sister's face.

Evidence that he was always "that way." We will be using it in the future, I'm sure.