June 27, 2009

Ode to U

For a long time, I missed U. U were the perfect companion for so many years – the yin to my yan, the in to my out, the quenching water to my insatiable thirst. The one who showed me the real meaning of life. Before I found U, I didn't have a clue what I was missing.

I can honestly say that no one has ever known me so intimately and no one ever will. No one has been with me through thick and thin – not like U. U were perfect to bounce things off of. Always reliable and rarely complained – in the beginning. And it wasn't just me. Truly, U carried the load for so many. I confess, I let U put yourself in the line of fire for me and "take one for the team" many times. Maybe I should feel guilty. I don't.

But it was heartbreaking to lose U so young – too soon! And yet not soon enough. U were the perfect companion until your later years when U got so bloody bitchy. Ay ay ay, you and your two little companions, you so cramped my style! I couldn't wait till you got your own pad. You ALWAYS showed up at the wrong time! Still, when U knew your time was up, U accepted your fate and let yourself be cut from my life.

After eight years, I've moved on without U, my womb with a view to all my children. I don't miss U anymore, Uterus, but I will be forever grateful for the times we spent together as one with the Universe and for the four lives you gave me.


[OTIN, thanks for the inspiration. That was fun.]

38 comments:

Gaston Studio said...

Couldn't have said it better myself Fragrant! Sure don't miss the little bugger though.

otin said...

We can just go around blogland and pick up everyone's lost pieces, maybe we can construct another person! I have some fat to contribute! Maybe that will be another post! LOL!

Julie said...

Breaking up is hard to do. Unless you have pain pills. LOL

Justine said...

I have to admit, I had no CLUE what the hell you were talking about until the very end! LOL

Justine :o )

darsden said...

uhmmm okay lovely tribute to a very important part at one time...LOL

otin-LOL

smiles4u said...

Too funny! I have been without mine for 20 years and can honestly say I don't miss it. Cute post!

Comedy Goddess said...

Wow.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

With the pain in my left side this morning, I'm thinking it is time to yank mine.

Fragrant Liar said...

It took me like two years to actually realize I was not going to have anymore periods, and it was at that point that I could internalize the real freedom. Then when friends started crying about their cramps and hormone headaches, I relaxed in the knowledge that I'd never have them again. Woo-hoo!

blognut said...

I like Otin's idea, but I'm a little worried about the kind of person we could construct.

And? It sounds like, whatever it is, it will have way too many uteruses.

Midlife Mama said...

I am scheduled for breaking up with my U on July 6th. I cannot WAIT. I am only about 15 to 20 days between cycles ever since I scheduled my surgery. I think it knows what's coming, and is really pissed at me. LOL

Lover of Life/ Nancy said...

At first I thought you might be talking about your husband, or an old boyfirend, LOL!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You could get a pet as a kind of replacement...

Otin's idea is a litle scary.

Kristina P. said...

I'm just waiting for mine to fall out.

Michel said...

Wow. Now I kinda wanna lose mine too. Its not like I'm doing anything with it. Seems kinda selfish to keep it.

Paula said...

I loved this! I, too, didn't know what you were talking about until the end. What a way to put it!

phd in yogurtry said...

The way my U has been acting lately, a farewell sounds pretty damned good. And a reconstructed multi-uterus creature? The Oxygen channel's "Snapped" would have a field day with that Frankenstein.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

You're not missing yours and I'm thinking that I would definitely NOT miss mine. It was very thoughtful of you to thank it for its service tho. :-)

Angie Ledbetter said...

*Ouch* (or should I say, "Och?")Hope your recovery is quick and easy.

I just seared mine up real good with the rollerball procedure (endometrial oblation). Don't miss my working U one tiny little bit! :)

Missy said...

I am cursing mine as I type. Glad to hear you broke up so easily! LOL

Vodka Mom said...

I am hear to TOAST YOUR LOSS!!

WOO HOO!!!

I LOVe that i don't have to shop for tampons, etc.

However, I AM a bit bitchy. I must say....

Fragrant Liar said...

Midlife Jobhunter: You know there's a song about that, right?

Ya-a-a-ank hers away, my friend! Ya-a-a-nk HERS away!

The Peach Tart said...

A toast to the loss. It seems to be working well for you without it. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Lisa said...

I'm still hanging on to my even though a doctor tells me that if I want a good hard poking with a long (st)ick without feeling like I'm going to hurl, I should have it removed now that I'm done with it.

You know, since my IUD has pretty much ended my period and they were always pretty easy ones anyway, I've decided that I can live without the deep (st)icking.

Too much?

Michele Renee said...

Mine has served its purpose well. Now I wish it would retire. I think it will take about 6 or 7 more years before retirement!

Fragrant Liar said...

Lisa: Yikes! He said that? And are you SURE you want to give up the, uh, poking? Maybe just get a shorter stick.

bernthis said...

I still got mine. She sends her best and oops, just sent me a cramp. Gotta go

Not The Rockefellers said...

This was the absolutely most perfect thing for me to read today...U understand.

I love otin's idea..I'll throw in tonsils,adenoids,an appendix and a gall bladder

Peace - Rene

Andrea said...

I haven't missed my U one minute since it departed nine years ago. It did it's job and then I was done with it! I'm just a cold, hard bithch!

Jason, as himself said...

On obvious love-hate relationship that I will never be able to understand.

Madame DeFarge said...

This is all still ahead of me. What a lot I have to look forward to. Mine hasn't had any tenants, so it's definitely been a spare womb.

Stesha said...

Sometimes I wish I could kick my uterus.

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Amy said...

Sometimes I look at my children in all their spoiled, snotty, grumpy, sassy glory, and wish I could rip my uterus out and stomp on it.

(What's that?! Another year and no Mother of the Year nomination?! Damn.)

Fragrant Liar said...

Yes, people! A toast to all our Uteruses! Or is that Uteri?

R.I.P., U's guys.

Pastor Sharon said...

I knew there was something going on with U, but I didn't have a clue what it stood for until the very end. Excellent way to put that into perspective.

Chris H said...

Ha ha ha! That was awesome! I lost U too.. almost a year ago now. I don't miss U at all! LOL

Bella said...

I thought I was going to lose it when I saw the comment about replacing Ute'R'Us with a pet! too funny! I'm still laffing about that one...

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