June 25, 2009

R.I.P. MJ and FF

I sat at my desk this morning, listening to my I-tunes playlist, and about a dozen songs in a row were tearjerkers. Tim McGraw's "Please Remember Me," "If You're Reading This," and "Live Like You Were Dying," plus many sad love songs, and then I heard that Farrah Fawcett had died. I knew her death was coming, but it's still terribly sad when a personality you grew up with leaves the earth, especially with something as horrific as cancer.

Then I worried about my father, who just went into the hospital in Florida with a blood clot in his upper arm; and he's 78 and has diabetes and a pacemaker and sleep apnea and a cranky disposition when it comes to hospital food; and this blood-fucker-clot shocks me into a state of dread and makes me wonder, will I lose my dad now? Really bad timing cuz I'm not ready for it (I'll never be ready for it).

You get the idea. It was a maudlin morning. So there I was sitting at my desk, listening to tearjerkers, sad about Farrah, mourning my baby sister who died last October, worried about Dad, and feeling sorry for myself; and Tim "dirge man" McGraw is pissing me off with all his somebody's-gonna-die ballads -- and before I know it, tears are streaming down my face.

[I hate BLOGGER! It dumped my whole post, and I had to start over! You bleeper bleeping piece of bleep! -- I curbed my potty mouth just for you, Dad.]

What a crappy day, I think. Time for the cure to sappy songs: I crank the ZZ Top. Then I bury myself in my work, cuz I'm good at that and I'm good at my job and I don't wanna think about sad stuff anymore.

Then 5:00 rolls around and I call my dad in the hospital and have a nice chat with him and he says "Did you see Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital?"

NO! See what happens when I'm buried in my work? Bad shit happens. I hang up with Dad and pull up CNN to see what's going on with Michael and instead of the live feed saying he's in a coma, they say he's died. And then I stare in shock at the computer screen, watching the newspeeps and the classic Jackson 5 footage, and now I'm really in a mood. Hypnotized, soaking up whatever info they'll throw out. Tear stains all down my sorry face.

I feel today like I did in 1997 when Princess Diana died. Or when John Lennon died or Jim Croce. All controversy aside, the loss I feel is HUGE. When I talked to my other sister, Star, she said the same thing. We've "known" Michael Jackson since he was a kid -- since I was a kid. We've watched him grow up (um, well he WAS 50 years old), we idolized him and played "Thriller" and "Billie Jean" and "Black or White" and my favorite "Man in the Mirror," and all those other songs, repeatedly. We tried to dance like him, and we were there when he came out with the moonwalk (I got a huge chunk of wood sliver in my socked foot showing off my MJ moonwalking talents) and so many other ground-breaking musical feats. Plus he used to be really cute, and that transformation alone is pretty pitiful. And Farrah, well we Americans always mourn our pinups and icons like they're family.

R.I.P, MJ and FF.

I know I'm rambling, and I'm not normally such a rambler (unless I'm commenting on Michel's or Braja's or Magaret's or Julie's or Jane's or Nikki's or -- any of your damn blogs). But because this is the saddest day of the year so far, and because I can't concentrate, and because I want it to end right here, please say a prayer for my dad (and my mom cuz she's having trouble remembering that her phone number is not the hospital's, and that Mr. WhoTheHellIsThis's room number is quite different from my father's). While Dad's on blood thinners which should dissolve the clot, I don't want to leave anything to chance. A good word sent out to the universe couldn't hurt, right?

Thank you, and y'all be safe.
.

41 comments:

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

My sentiments exactly. I felt like Michael was an icon. Every song he sung, I've heard and played over and over again from the time I was old enough to appreciate his music and then some.

Farrah Fawcett...I remember so well the Farrah look that us girls tried our best to capture. She was a beautiful woman with a beautiful spirit.

Your dad's going to be just fine. Those blood thinners work wonders for clots. Just tell him to do what the doctors say do and he'll be out of there in no time.

midlife slices said...

I've had a really uneasy feeling today and I know it's from hearing about all these "young" deaths. I think I finally realize.....I'm NOT immortal. Damn....how/when did that happen?

I hope your Dad is back to good health VERY soon.

Amy said...

I just finished my blog about Michael and as soon as I posted it, saw yours. I've had a lump in my throat and a few tears as well today. I'm glad I'm not the only one who really remembers the beautiful man who made beautiful music. Thanks, Lady.

Kristina P. said...

It really is a tragic day. And Ed McMahon passed away yesterday!

lovelyprism said...

I'm thinking good thoughts for your Dad. *hugs

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Good thoughts for you and your mom and dad. Don't worry. I know, I know...

The moonwalk was the best - Michael rocked. I remember seeing it for the first time on the Motown special on TV. Amazed me.

Be tough, Fragrant Liar.

Michel said...

DUDE I KNOW! I thought it was not true when I read the Michael thing - not after the Farrah thing.

It's been a tough week!

Pastor Sharon said...

I just felt your heart hurt. Interesting how these deaths have caused us to stop in our tracks. It's also interesting how a death brings up the grief over the loss of our loved ones, and yours is still so fresh from the loss of your sister.
I will send prayers up for your parents. I will send them for you too. And, I am sending hugs your way. This day truly did suck from these losses.

otin said...

I hope your Dad is doing OK, Diabetes runs in my family, and it is a tough thing, but they have made so many advances in medicine that things are not as hard to treat as they used to be. Farrah is an extremely sad story because of the way she documented her battle. Michael Jackson's death did not really shock me, I feel almost like he never intended to grow old! It was a very sad day! :(

Butler and Bagman said...

Yes...surprising and gut wrenching when people we grew up with die. Although on the good side, sometimes I see a story about some old singer or actor getting married or beating up papparazzi and I think, "Is he still alive? I thought he died." Carpe diem.

T said...

What an awful day yesterday was - we lost 3 huge icons who will be missed.

Prayers being said for your dad.....todays meds are amazing and I'm sure he will come thru with flying colors!

Gaston Studio said...

I'm with Otin about maybe MJ wasn't meant to grow old like the rest of us mortals.

Jazz said...

It should be done now. It always comes in threes:

McMann, Fawcett and now Jackson.

Those first two are going to be totally overshadowed...

STILLMAGNOLIA said...

I am thinking good thoughts for your dad...have been experiencing the same with my dad this past year....not fun. Have a better day!

Justine said...

The shock I felt upon hearing of MJ's death was just jaw-dropping. I never thought he would die this way. Honestly? I thought he'd kill himself at some point. But a fatal heart attack? No.
And Farrah... the flippy-haired angel. It was just too much yesterday, that's for damn sure. I didn't cry, but I did mourn and I did pray. And now I'll say a prayer for your family, that your dad gets out of the hospital soon and with a full recovery.

Justine :o )

Comedy Goddess said...

I'm with you! They were so much a part of our culture. And, I still can't get over losing Diana!

Julie said...

You know, I got teary over Farrah. If you saw her documentary a month ago, it was heartbreaking.

MJ is another story. I think because he turned into such a freak show this past 15 years, I really was not phased by his passing. Yes, he was iconic back in the 80's, and he changed the face of music and dance, but his weirdness and the whole child molesting thing to me, almost overshadows everything he did artistically.

Sending good thoughts to your Dad....

ModernMom said...

It really is a sad day. Hug your loved ones:)

Cynthia L. H. said...

Prayers going up for you and your Dad and Mom.
And for Michael's children and family and for Farrah's, Ryan and Redmond.

blognut said...

Sending all good thoughts to your dad.

Bella said...

Sending warm thoughts and prayers for your Dad's recovery, and for you and your Mom. I was shocked that MJ had a heart attack and was gone. My son used to try to mimick the moonwalk, what a talent he was; truly the King of Pop. Farrah's documentary on her illness showed her strength and weakness at facing such a horrible disease, it was heartwrenching, as she was such as beautiful soul, however her struggle is over. Makes one take a harsh look at their own mortality. A dark day indeed to learn my sister's boyfriend's Dad also died yesterday.

Andrew said...

I can't imagine what it's like to be a celebrity with a drug addiction and have to be in the spotlight all the time. It's tough enough trying to recover in private.

DebraLSchubert said...

Blessings to your parents. And peace to MJ, Farrah, Ed and all who've recently passed.

Gaston Studio said...

Left something for you over at my place. Hope you can pick it up soon.
Jane

Tom Erdman said...

I feel like a part of me, a part of my life died yesterday. Like you, Michael was with me through my teen years and beyond. I just hope he was happy when then end came.

jewelryandgiftsbyrebecca said...

{(BIG HUGS)}
I'm praying for your Dad (and Mom).
As someone who worked in health care for 20 some years, I can tell you I loved the cranky old men. They added spice to my day and they were fun to banter with and try to get a grin from. I hope you Dad get a nurse or therapist like that to make his stay more bearable.
I hope your weekend is full of sunshine!!!

Lorna said...

Even without the stars passing, you've a heavy load to shoulder. I hope that things go ok for your dad and mom. I know that you're worried. I'm so sorry.


~Lorna

Madame DeFarge said...

Hope your Dad is okay and recovers. The death of celebrities rarely bothers me, but it doesn't mean that I can't recognise pain in those who are affected by it. I hope your weekend is better than today has been.

Mary Ellen said...

I'll add my prayers to all the others for your dad. I hope all goes well, and does so quickly.

I've read quite a few blog posts today mentioning Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson, and I have to say that I connected with yours the most. I grew up watching and listening to both of them, and I feel the loss. Gone too soon.

morethananelectrician said...

The current situation with your father has to magnify these recent passings for you...I hope you find the strenght to bring yourself through this tough time with yuor spirits intact.

Please consider YOUR family in my thoughts and prayers.

Phat Mama said...

If it will make you feel better, there's an award for you over on my blog. :)

♥ Braja said...

But I LOVE your rambling....don't stop.....

Sarah Lulu said...

All three of my children loved Michael Jackson music ...setting his eccentricities aside he was ...a musical genius.

I am praying for both your Mum and your Dad this morning. xx

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Sending healing thoughts to your dad and strength to Mom. And positive vibes to you, too! XOXO

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Sending out good thoughts and energy to your dad.

And thinking about how many hours I spent in the bathroom with a blow dryer trying to get my bangs to look like Farrah's, may she RIP now.

;-)

Halala Mama said...

Michael was an icon whom I totally adored when I was young. In recent years, my heart really went out to him. I felt like we were watching someone who was so internally miserable that I didn't think he could ever heal. I hope he has some peace now.

Paula said...

Saying a prayer for your dad, your mom, and for you cuz you sound like you need it....And I think that is good advice to "Live like you were dying" Have a super day

J said...

I'm a 90's kid myself, but MJ was still played in my house all through my childhood. Yesterday was a very sad day. I'm still kind of in shock.

Michele Renee said...

I couldn't believe the news either. Good health is such a blessing. I hope you dad makes out ok.
I too thought about Princess Diana. Now I will always know what I was doing when I learned of her death and of MJ's.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Two talented people with huge hearts. Both were such a huge part of our history....all of us, I would think. RIP, dear, sweet souls.

Alix said...

I just had a word with the Universe and she said your dad will be fine.

PS: Your MJ post was much much nicer than mine. I feel kinda bad.