March 22, 2009

Solo Mio

Even before I was single, I was comfortable going most places by myself, like out to eat, shopping at the mall, or to parties. I have even gone by myself down to Austin’s Sixth Street, back in the day. I know too many women who go nowhere solo except the grocery store. But there were some places I never went alone.

Case in Point
The movies. It just doesn't seem right to sit in a darkened theater without a friend or loved one beside you to share in whatever's coming at you from the big screen. I mean, who's going to turn her face to yours so you can laugh eye to eye when Mary scoops up a glob of sticky Ben-Stiller spunk for on-the-spot hair styling? Who's going to put his arm around you when you’re peeking between your fingers cuz you know and the lycan doesn’t that bloodthirsty vamps wait beyond the dank and creepy dungeon? Who’s going to have your back when you turn and bitch out the chatty teenagers kicking your seat during Carrie’s excruciatingly painful mourning of her botched wedding to Mr. Big? And who’s going to beat the pervy guy in back to a pulp when he starts grunting and breathing heavy and making fast-friction noises while you’re watching the actual love scene in Dildos and Dongs?

So many movies. So little time.
Lately I've missed a bunch of films just because I didn't have anyone to go with. It's not that I don't have friends; I actually have many – unless I’m not as fun as I think I am. Heh, heh. It's that everybody's so busy with family or they live far away from me. We don't frequent the same venues. So since my boss was kind enough to let us off early Friday, I took the opportunity to venture into No-Chicks Land. The movies, by myself.

He’s Just Not That Into You
Yep. I saw the movie. I think it resonated with me especially because I’m at that place – the premise of the movie – the awkward first date phase where you don’t know anything about the other person and the first time you meet up, it’s do-or-die, your one chance to see if there’s any chemistry (translation: I-gotta-have-more-cowbell moments; I’m feeling some heart-pounding, tingly-crotch sensations; or, thank-you-god-we-found-each-other-let’s-go-to-Vegas delirium). I mean, what are the odds?

I'm a Sucky Critic
If I were to play critic, I would be fired, because I really liked everything about this movie. (Yes, I’m easy. But that’s another post.) The situations portrayed on screen are pretty accurate. I had to laugh at the rituals we participate in to meet new people in real life, flirting and chit-chatting and exchanging phone numbers so we can call or not call like we said we would later. I’d like to skip that phase and go stag for awhile, forge ahead solo mio with no nerve-wracking anticipation of another person’s interest in me (just to avoid the not-knowing and the second-guessing of my worthiness) until suddenly HE appears in front of me, sweeps me off my feet, and we live happily ever after just like in the fairytales because he just IS that into me.

I’m glad I’m not in any hurry for a new relationship, because otherwise that fairytale thing might never happen, you know?
.

34 comments:

Beth said...

And it is always when we aren't looking that we find THAT person. I'm glad you liked the movie. I've been to several movies by myself. I have very chatty friends. :)

AirmanMom said...

FL...I enjoy 'fun' movies like Momma Mia with friends, but more intense or drama movies...I'll wait til it comes on NetFlix (which is my ideal way to watch a movie anyway!) One girlfriend and I have done some at home matinees; bring in carry-out and watch the movie...that way rewind is at our fingertips and pause for the potty breaks!
Makes a fun girl-nite!
~AM

smiles4u said...

I love movies too and loved the movie He's just not in to you". I read the book when I was single(about 5 years ago)and it really helped me. It's when I quit looking and being in a hurry to find a guy that was in to me, that I met my husband...and happily and thankfully, he is still in to me today! Great post!

Kulio said...

I've done it only twice (movies alone). The first time I took a book and tried to look completely bored and at the same time fixated on my uber-compelling book while the couples filed in. The second time I literally freaked out and left half-way through.

You sound like a brave, confident woman - hey, let the guy find YOU!

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

My biggest fear as a single gal was eating alone in a restaurant... but I conquered the fear...

As for doing the movie theatre alone, that was never a challenge for me because it's dark and no one can see that you are all alone.

Great post and glad you enjoyed the movie!

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

daisyfae said...

i went to see "something about mary" alone when i was living in DC by myself for a year... it was a bit strange, but i really wanted to see it. have seen a few other flicks in theaters by myself, but would rather watch DVDs at home where i can stay in my jammies and eat popcorn in bed...

Sarah Lulu said...

I don't go to the movies alone, I am blessed with a couple of girlfriends and my son's girlfriend who will go with me.

A couple of weekends ago we went twice!

We also saw He's Just Not That Into You (I had previously read the book a few years ago. SO good I gave it to three friends.) ...and I did enjoy the movie. I laughed and didn't have to cringe much ..It's not a great movie, but that's ok too.

Then we went to Last Chance Harvey with Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson which was about love found later in life and it was GORGEOUS!

LegalMist said...

You go, girl! I'm with you on the movie thing; it is hard to go alone. But sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

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Gaston Studio said...

I actually prefer going to movies alone because I don't want anyone talking to me during the movie, I absolutely refuse to share my popcorn (buy your own, damnnit!) and if I find myself sitting near someone who DOES talk a lot, I can move to another seat quickly without having to make sure it's two side by side.

DebraLSchubert said...

"Suddenly HE appears in front of me, sweeps me off my feet, and we live happily ever after just like in the fairytales because he just IS that into me."

You mean that's not how it works? Damn! I guess I'll have to cut my hair if no guy's going to climb up it and rescue me from my Ivory Tower.

Justine/Justiney/Tiney said...

Dildos and dongs? Heeheeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

That movie does look cute (not the D&D!) but I rarely ever go the movies. If there was one around the corner I'm sure I would, but alas, it's too far away for this panic-disorder-stricken woman to drive to. Poo.

Justine :o )

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I haven't seen this movie but I really want to. In fact there are a lot of movies I want to see and never seem to make it there. Too bad we can't go together. I think it's great that you're hanging back. I'm sure Mr. Right is out there searching for you but you're awesome all by yourself. Enjoy yourself in the meantime.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

I totally agree with you... I cannot understand how people can go to the movies by themselves! I have to have some one to rant or rave about the movie with!

Nancy said...

I have gone to the show alone. I'm ok with it.

I haven't seen "He's Just Not Into You" yet. I'm afraid I may relate too much, =)

I like my ho-hum single live vs trying to find "the one".

So, I'm just sitting back waiting for my "Edward Lewis" to come swoop me away!

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I've traveled all over the country by myself & don't mind it at all. I haven't ever gone to a movie by myself. I always mean to. I don't think it would bother me. Hmmm ... maybe I should try just as an experiment?

Jill said...

I love going to the movies by myself, I just don't get to do it to often because of the kids. I am glad u went!

SweetPeaSurry said...

I go to the movies alone all the time. Actually I prefer it. No one talking in my ear, no one eating my popcorn or hotdog or whatsiwhosits. I usually go to a matinee as well, since there are usually not that many people in the theater. I LOVE that! I get it from my grampa I think. He used to frequent a lot of war movies, that no one else really wanted to see. I don't mind sitting alone in the theater actually enjoying the movie without distractions. I do hope you found it liberating!

Amy said...

I've only gone solo to one movie in my life. I was on the verge of divorce and I went to see Titanic. Bad choice. The theater was packed and I was literally bawling out loud like a wounded goat.

I'm with you. Must have someone to share the moment with. I've been waiting on someone like-minded to review this movie for me. Thanks!!

Jan said...

I never went to the movies alone during my first marriage, because both my ex and I are such huge film buffs - it's what we did for fun.

Beloved, on the other hand, does not like crowded theatres and would just as soon wait until a film comes out on DVD so he can watch it on his big screen and relax in his Barcalounger. So, if I feel the need to see something in the theatre, I take my kids or go alone. I saw The Dark Knight by myself and had a blast.

Debbie said...

I'm not sure I would feel comfortable going to the movies by myself either. Good for you! And I would also be a lousy critic.

Comedy Goddess said...

I stay out of movie theaters unless it's something epic or 3-D. Oh well.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

These days I see almost everything on DVD. But back in my college days I used to go to the movies by myself kind of a lot. I loved the art films and my boyfriend at the time did not.

Dumdad said...

You are funny.

And you're right about going solo. It happens to guys too, you know. Well, okay, not to me because I'm so fabulously popular and have millions of friends. Hang on, I got carried away there and was thinking of someone else.

No, I've been married for yonks and don't have that situation nowadays. But I remember the days between girlfriends and going to a restaurant alone. Damn it, I'm hungry, I'd say, and I want decent food. But it IS a bit awkward being at a table for one (some restaurants don't allow it!).

Are people looking at you and thinking, "Ah, poor loser, all alone, no friends, how sad?" Yes, probably.

It IS more fun eating in a restaurant or going to see a film with someone else. I saw Gran Torino yesterday with my son. The theatre was packed. Once we got our places we could go to the loo individually and know our seats wouldn't get nicked. So on a practical level it's good to be more than one.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

I always thought going to the movies alone was the essence of independence. Took me 45 years to do it.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Very funny post! I still have never gone to a movie alone, though my hubby doesn't mind it at all.

travel girl said...

I have done so many things by myself. I have traveled all over the world, ate in restaurants, gone to the beach. The one place I had not gone to by myself was a movie.

So, on Thanksgiving weekend, I did just that. Afterwards I thought to myself I should do it more often.

Midlife Mama said...

This is great. I'm so like you. I also am very comfortable with my own company, and often prefer to go places by myself, just because I can do what I please and not have to worry about what anyone else wants to do. For instance, I prefer to shop by myself. Weird, I know and when it comes time to "does this look good on me?" I often wish I had someone with me. But I generally prefer to shop alone. But I have a hard time going to the movies alone, too. It just seems so...pathetic. People sending you pitying looks -- look at the poor dorky girl, who has no friends. Yeah. I'm with you there.

But here I am married and everything, and supposed to never have to go to the movies alone again, am I right? Well. Not so much. Dr, Jekyll doesn't like to go to the movies. Something I might have discovered had I dated him more than five minutes before marrying him. *sigh*.

So, if I want to see a good flick? I have to go alone. And I've learned to at least tolerate it, if not enjoy it. I scoot into the theater as quickly as possible. And once it's dark, who is really paying attention to the dorky lady in the front of the middle section?

thistle said...

i've gone to the movies solo...for the same reasons you stated...but i've also missed lots. Bothers me less now when i miss them cos frankly some aren't as good as they're advertised to be, JMO...perhaps that's just my aging and shortening attention span talking tho ;)

Breathe said...

You are a brave one than I, Gunga Din. I can barely watch TV by myself.

Anna Russell said...

Good on ya! I always say I'm going to the movies on my own, because it's not like you're talking to anyone anyway - but then I never end up doing it. I think I will now!

midlifeslices said...

I love movies and I have no problem going by myself so I don't feel like a piglet shoveling popcorn by the handfuls into my gaping mouth.

I thought that movie was cute.

Michel said...

I can't go alone - I get waaay too many amenities - I need another person for cover! Pretend like they are going to "share" the popcorn and milk duds...(as if!)

Pammy said...

I'm a big loser... I go to movies by myself all the time. If I didn't, I'd never see any movies. And I saw 'He's Just Not That Into You' (twice). It made me realize that, despite owning the book, I really need to pull my head out of my ass because he may love me and he may miss me, but ultimately he's just not that into me. I resent that a movie starring Ben Affleck had to teach me that.

Lisa said...

Dang it, I don't get to the movies much mostly because I always end up sitting behind the tall guy and with the seat kicking doofus behind me. DVR and pay per view are my friend.

Plus my jailers don't like to let me out much in case I find out there's fun to be had. That would ruin their plans.