WTF Wednesday: Cougars Demystified

The "cougar," per the online Urban Dictionary (which the public writes) says:

A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey."

Who writes this shit? That's the definition of a streetwalker. There were other definitions, but this one was voted to the top of the dung heap by the masses. Let me clarify that this definition of a "cougar" is akin to, "Oh yeah, they got nukyoular weapons in Iraq. Lots of 'em." People tend to believe the most generated propaganda without question. It's as unfair as it is insulting and wrong.

As a woman who fits solidly into "cougar" territory, having had boyfriends and a husband from 10-16 years my junior, I'm offended by the idea that “older” women who date younger men are calculating hunters in tasteless, revealing leopard prints, boobs overflowing en masse, and too-tiny skirts that give away all the mystery. Au contraire! My math skills are entirely unimpressive, my animalia is always tasteful, the boobage is generally contained (though cleavage is completely appropriate for evenings out), and my skirts aren’t giving away anything I don’t want you to see (Uh-uh, no behind until it's time).

Cougars, as some like to call them, are not skanks skulking in the shadows of your local bar, ready to pounce on eager but unsuspecting "tadpoles" and turning them into sex slaves. Anybody who thinks that is incredibly ignorant – not that I don’t want to put my fuzzy, fuchsia handcuffs to good use.

First, those younger men are anything but innocent -- or gullible or unintelligent. They know exactly what they want, and they're confident enough to pursue an older woman who attracts them. Second, cougars are quite particular in whom they choose to spend time with. They do not "prey" upon anything but a happy, fulfilling life. Third, contrary to popular culture's propensity for finding the worst faults in controversial phenomena, cougars do look for interesting men with whom they can engage in healthy relationships, usually long-term.

Sex? Oh yeah. Hell yeah! But most cougars want love and romance just like their traditional, dare I say "tame" counterparts. (I'll bet women like being labeled "tame" as much as single older women like to be called cougars.) Grrrr!

So where is the law that says you must date/mate/copulate with a person your own age? What is the rationale for this? And please make sure it IS rationale and not just some icky feeling in the pit of your stomach that you can't quite put your finger on. Men have been doing it forever. Do we call them cougars? Lions? Grizzlies? Pigs? Okay, pigs, but for different reasons, and then they deserve it.

AARP says 34 percent of women over 40 are dating younger men. Sounds to me like a revolution. But let's narrow things down, since this is my blog. What do I see in younger men? Vitality. Playfulness. Daring. Energizer Bunny erections. More importantly, they treat me as an equal and don't belittle or compete with me like older, less secure men sometimes do. They enjoy pleasing me on all life levels. They appreciate the things I do for them in return, rather than taking it for granted or positioning themselves as the Master of my universe. Please understand: I would be just as happy with an older guy who had these same qualities. Dude, you out there? Call me!

There are, of course, boundaries. Short of trolling the high schools and colleges, love and attraction are where you find them, and that's pretty much all there is to it. I think my work is done here.
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Thanks to Julie at 47 and Starting Over for giving me my WTF rant, based on her Sunday Rewind.

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